NOW CLOSED: Do you have a DD aged 8-14? Have you had a chat about periods? Are you about to? Please share your tips here - you could win a £100 voucher

[AnnMumsnet]

We've been asked by Lil-Lets to find out your best tips for this sometimes tricky conversation.

Lil-Lets have just launched a new range of teen towels as well as a website www.becomingateen.co.uk which "is full of information and advice for young girls about puberty and periods, what products are available and how to use them correctly. The website includes a downloadable booklet and lots of helpful videos".

The new teen towels have been developed in consultation with a panel of teen girls - they are smaller and narrower than standard towels - and they say "Lil-Lets teens ultra towels are the only towels in the UK specifically designed to fit younger bodies. Despite being smaller, they're more absorbent than the leading adult towel and are available in day and night sizes. Prettily packaged in a drawstring bag with ribbons and a removable sleeve for ultimate discretion, each individual towel also comes in a whisper wrapper".

Lil-Lets would love to include some wisdom on their site, from Mumsnet mums who have experienced their DD going through puberty or who have had the chat.

So, please share your experiences here - let us know - how you approached your DD, or did she ask you? Did you or your DD find it a tricky conversation, or did it bring you closer? How did it make you feel talking to your DD about periods? What tips would you share with other mums or with other young girls? What advice would your DD give to someone else her age? How do other family members react to this stage in development - eg dads, brothers, older or younger sisters? What was easy about the chat, and what was more tricky?

Lil-lets are also keen to get your feedback on the product and packaging, and would also love to hear any suggestions for improving this.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one winner will get a £100 Love2Shop voucher.

Stories and tips may be used on the Lil-lets website www.becomingateen.co.uk but your MN name will not be used.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

I have had a bit of a chat with my 7yo, she had been talking to her friend who's a couple of years older and had clearly recently had "the chat" herself.

It was really basic, just that women bleed from their vagina for a few days each month, and that is how they know they aren't going to have a baby. That it can be uncomfortable but that is usually manageable. That you can put special pads in your knickers so that it doesn't leak everywhere. That most women have them until they get into their fifties.

I use a mooncup so the issue of buying sanpro never comes up here, so I suppose that's somethign I'll have to think about. I imagine in a couple of years' time I'll buy some different bits and bobs and show her how it works and let her practice and choose what she prefers that way. Not sure about trying tampons when not bleeding though (did someone suggest that upthread??) as the vagina will be too dry for it to be comfortable.

I've always had a policy of answering questions honestly and at what I hope is an age appropriate level. We had a very interesting chat when I was pregnant with her little sister (she was around 5.6) about how the baby started so she knows about htat too. I started off being a bit vague but she asked increasingly probing (fnar) questions until I had to be fairly specific... I think I may have made it sound a bit run of the mill in an attempt not to get into the nuts and bolts of adult sex lives ie, Mummy and Daddy made dinner, Mummy ironed while Daddy did the washing up, Daddy put his willy in a special hole in Mummy's undercarriage and that's how the baby started, then we watched telly and had a cup of tea. No you were not there at the time. No we didn't make the baby in the shed.

After that, a chat about periods was really really easy.

I bought dd a fantastic book The Care and Keeping of You (recommended by someone Mumsnet of course!) which deals with all aspects of puberty. She loved it, read it from cover to cover and it has prompted lots of questions which I have answered as and when. Will definitely have a look at your website - I remember my mum sending off for a similar booklet for me back in the day. I agree with the poster who said have several chats rather than one big one - that's why a book (or your booklet) is great as a point of reference.

I've talked to my 11yo and 10yo and 7yo dds about periods, not in one formal talk, it's something that we have always talked about. I don't really find talking about these things hard at all.

I bought them that book "What's happening to me?" which they perused and came back to ask more questions about, and I bought the older two cute little tins-with-ultra-thin-towels ready for when they have periods.

Also they play with tampons ("mice"), we occasinally put a tampon into a bowl with red food colouring in it and watch it soak it up - this is very popular. And they know how my mooncup works too.

I haven't found any of it tricky. so far... That could be all to come of course.

So my advice, just always talk about these things and don't clam up when they ask questions, just answer it all

Just to let you know I found the teens lilets pads in Boots today. Dd is delighted. She loves the little draw string bag and has put that in her school bag and she's kept the night time pads in her room. She says they are miles more comfortable and fit her knickers better than my pads :-).

So thank you. We'll look at the tampons next month!

Oh I took a look at the website last night and applied for free sample teen pack! Will get my daughter to take a look herself. I wasn't keen on the packaging but then it's not aimed at me! Will see what she thinks!

Chatted to DD (8) a few weeks ago.
She is completely happy with the 'plumbing' of sex, how a baby grows, is born etc, so I approached it from that angle, the womb preparing a soft lining in case a baby was going to be made that month, and then clearing it out so a new fresh lining would grow..like getting the iffy ham out of the back of the fridge before putting the new groceries in.
I think it's really important they understand that the blood loss is limited and comes from a finite 'container', not as if a virtual tap has been turned on with the slim but alarming prospect that their total blood volume might leak away.
Haven't really gone into sanitary products in great detail as she's fairly petite and probably not going to be an early starter.

DD1 is 8 and DD2 is 5 and seeing as they can't let me go to the loo in peace, they have seen me changing tampons/mooncup right from the off. They ALWAYS ask what I'm doing so we've been chatting about this in a casual way from very young.

I've told the girls that every month a lady gets a wee bit of blood from her vagina and I use tampons etc to catch the blood so it doesn't make a mess. They have asked if it hurts so I said that sometimes I get a sore tummy but its not a bad pain. Then as they've gotten older I've added that the reason ladies bleed is because each month their body gets ready to have a baby growing inside it so if that doesn't happen my body has to get rid of all the extra bits (this did lead on to a talk about contraception as they asked why my body didn't have a baby growing in it so I explained that I took a special pill to stop it ).

I haven't found this awkward at all I must stress, it was all very natural and informal and definitely age-appropriate but I would never dismiss any of their questions...what's the point in that.

My DD is 9 and is at boarding school, but comes home at weekends. I talked to her about periods in the summer holidays as it's likely she'll start when she's at school not at home. I don't believe in using anything other than the correct names and expressions for these things as it's too easy for children to misunderstand what you say. She knows what's likely to happen, who to approach about it and what to use in the way of products.

I had to have the discussion with DD when she was seven. She had a surge of hormones and began growing pubic hair, under arm hair and having to use deodorant. We had to visit the doctors so I ran through the basics with her.
We have a very open house and she has been in the bathroom while I have changed tampons. This made it easier as she already had some knowledge. She is now nearly nine and I make sure we have a little chat every few months. She seems very relaxed about it all. Also I have a 10 week old DS and this has given us a chance to discuss a lot.

My DD is 11 and her boobs are beginning to grow and she has a small amount of pubic hair so we are guesssing she may start her periods soon and we are all geared up. However, this last couple of weeks she has been feeling nauseous on and off, but mostly about an hour after going to sleep. I put her back to bed and mostly she is fine in the morning, it's really odd. Is this a known symptom of puberty?? We went to the doctor today as it is worrying her, he suggested it may be all the changes in life at the moment but they are going to blood test her in case - has anyone else experienced this nausea with their dd onset of puberty? thanks

DD has always known about my periods and san' prot since she was tiny as she has wandered in and out of the bathroom. I have explained bits and pieces as she has grown around periods and sex and she had the full story in simplest form and some (rather bulky!!) sanitairy towels in a draw, by the time she was about seven. I'm very glad I did this as she started her periods at 8 - and am relieved to find that there are better products for young girls hitting the market.

I think Lil lets you have missed a trick labelling your product as 'teen'! (also in your pull down menus for ordering a trial pack you don't allow an option for mooncup) In saying that sure dd will be delighted to think that she has 'teen needs'!

I have been careful to talk about 'growing older' rather than 'growing up'. The two mean quite different things to dd.The point for me has been to try and make sure that dd is well informed and felt able to talk to me/dh about anything, and for her to gain an understanding that there isn't a magic age when you are 'grown up' - but rather your body, emotional welbeing, stage of life and circumstances all need to be right for that to be the case, ie for 'adult things' to start happening.

I hope that this gives her a sense of knowledge and control which in my view is essential for all women around issues of bodily function and sexuality!

I am not a mum, but just thought I'd suggest that you all adopt a different approach to my own mother...

When I eventually plucked up the courage at the age of 13 to tell her that I thought I had had my first period (having spent all day using loo paper as a make-shift sanitary towel) her reaction was "show me your knickers then" I pulled down my pants, totally mortified, and she simply said "yes you have. I'll go to Asda and get some Always".

That was it, end of discussion. I felt so humilliated. I learnt most of the whys and wherefores off the internet - mum was a closed book when it came to feminine advice.

I have resolved to be much more open and approachable if and when I am lucky enough to have a DD.

Have been reading this thread with interest - DD is nearly 12, and we had a chat about things a couple of years ago, but nothing recently (OK, I've been on at her to wash or use the deodorant I bought her, but we haven't covered periods).
She's had the Usborne "What's Happening to Me?" book for a couple of years, so she has information if she wants to use it. I've been thinking that "Are you there God, it's me, Margaret?" should be the book in her stocking this Christmas - it's the one I remember from my pre-teen years that really got to the heart of the anxieties of the whole business.
Reading this has made me think that I need to get her some towels/tampons in preparation. I use a mooncup (and we have an en-suite), so she hasn't been exposed to products in the bathroom the way that she might have been. Hmm, I think I'll send off for a sample pack for her - that should help!

I have had the chat with my dd aged 11. I have never kept it from either of my kids and they have seen me buying towels and washing sheets .

The best method I found is to take them shopping, not specifically for towels but just shopping in general and buy some for yourself. I showed my dd which I used and why I chose them (I buy night-time ones all the time as I can be quite heavy).

I'll then point out the different options and explain why some women use tampons rather than towels and by gauging her reaction I knew she'd prefer towels.

When we get home I'd take the towel out and show her how it works, which way it goes in your knickers if they they have wings, which mine always do, I explain what they are for.

I also tell her what I'd like to see in a towel as for me, they are never absorbent enough! I really liked the scented towels during the day as I got a bit paranoid about the pong at times and I like the idea of a small bag to put them in. At school teens often use the toilet and are embarrassed to take their bag with them (it's not practical to lug your bag into the toilet in the middle of class) so something small that they can slip into a trouser pocket is ideal.

I shall show her the website and see what she says because although she hasn't started her periods yet, I want her to be as prepared as possible. I might even buy her a packet so that she has some for when she does start.

Whatever you do, when presented with 13 yo dd1 bleeding profusely for several days with preiod no 1, don't say 'it will probably only happen a few times this year'.

Cue said dd having a 21 day cycle from the off, with major flooding each time.

Thanks for all the tips etc - do keep them coming....

Oh yes - another tip - I gave DD a new pencil case (one of the fluffy ones) specially for her towels. That way she's not embarrassed by them falling out of her bag at inappropriate moments. There's a spare pair of knickers in there too 'just in case'.

On our calendar she gets a little star (in pen, not a sticky) on the day she starts her period, and a cross on the day she is due. I do the same for myself in a different coloured pen. She quite often texts me from school telling me it's a star day for her! [ginr]

[ginr] ????

ha ha, I am now actually saying GINR!!

I had the talk with my DD about a year ago and she is approaching 11 in November. We have been talking on and off about it ever since and she appears to be fairly comfortable about the prospect of having periods. I bought her a couple of books (What's happening to me and Facts of Life "Growing Up") which we read together and she has since re-read on her own. A friend of hers recently started her period and my DD was able to be of comfort to her because of how well informed she is.

Oh yeas, my DD has the coolest make up bag in her school bag

I read the pink Usborne book mentioned on here and then let dd read it herself afterwards (she's 9). She had a couple of questions afterwards.

ds (8) read it too!

My DD's are 8 and 10, we have talked about starting periods and what to do. They have seen my sani towels in shopping basket and at home and know what they are for. Youngest has got a bit confused and calls them bum wraps.

The eldest had the talk at school about sex which was a bit more indepth to what I had told her.

I found it quite easy to talk about and they both asked a few questions which was great.

I am suprised with my self because know I feel the eldest needs to know a few things about father christmas and I can't bring myself to tell her. Never thought that would be a bigger deal than sex and puberty.

Thanks everyone for all the comments. Much appreciated.

Am pleased to say eaglewings name was pulled out of the hat and she wins a £100 Love2Shop voucher...congrats!

Thank you! Will enjoy spending it with my dd, after all she's the reason I got to enter :)