NOW CLOSED: Do you have a DD aged 8-14? Have you had a chat about periods? Are you about to? Please share your tips here - you could win a £100 voucher

[AnnMumsnet]

We've been asked by Lil-Lets to find out your best tips for this sometimes tricky conversation.

Lil-Lets have just launched a new range of teen towels as well as a website www.becomingateen.co.uk which "is full of information and advice for young girls about puberty and periods, what products are available and how to use them correctly. The website includes a downloadable booklet and lots of helpful videos".

The new teen towels have been developed in consultation with a panel of teen girls - they are smaller and narrower than standard towels - and they say "Lil-Lets teens ultra towels are the only towels in the UK specifically designed to fit younger bodies. Despite being smaller, they're more absorbent than the leading adult towel and are available in day and night sizes. Prettily packaged in a drawstring bag with ribbons and a removable sleeve for ultimate discretion, each individual towel also comes in a whisper wrapper".

Lil-Lets would love to include some wisdom on their site, from Mumsnet mums who have experienced their DD going through puberty or who have had the chat.

So, please share your experiences here - let us know - how you approached your DD, or did she ask you? Did you or your DD find it a tricky conversation, or did it bring you closer? How did it make you feel talking to your DD about periods? What tips would you share with other mums or with other young girls? What advice would your DD give to someone else her age? How do other family members react to this stage in development - eg dads, brothers, older or younger sisters? What was easy about the chat, and what was more tricky?

Lil-lets are also keen to get your feedback on the product and packaging, and would also love to hear any suggestions for improving this.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one winner will get a £100 Love2Shop voucher.

Stories and tips may be used on the Lil-lets website www.becomingateen.co.uk but your MN name will not be used.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

dd is 8 and I have always been very matter of fact about periods. Tampons and towels are not hidden away, she has been in the bathroom with me when I have changed tampons etc. My view is that why make a big deal about it! I have just been honest with her that this is something all women go through every month and it is really no big deal.
Perhaps this is because my own dm was the complete opposite and I got given a book to read, no discussion.
In fact I was so embarrased at starting my periods that I did'nt tell her for months - going to the shop and buying sanitary towels myself was preferable.

I've always been open with both my children about periods, hard not to when they've always wandered in and out when we are in the bathroom (and I use towels). Plus I have quite bad period pain and dh has always been happy to tell them that I've gone to bed or am in the bath because of my period.

dd is now 11 and is fully prepared (as much as you can be I guess). We bought a whole range of different towels the other day and some min tampons too, although I don't wear them. We've talked about what she would like to happen when she starts (she said yes to gifts) and I've started to put together a basket of stuff for her. We talked about mooncups too (there were some disposable ones at the supermarket) and I might get some of those too.

I don't know about the teenager towels, and do slightly wonder if it's a bit of a marketing gimmick, but I remember how great it was when towels with wings came in so I'll probably buy some and see.

I looked at the website and it looks OK, but in the 'Ask Vicki' bit there are a couple of girls saying they have bad period pain, to be told that gentle exercise and "snuggling up with a hot water bottle" will sort it out. I had very painful periods as a teen, my mother was totally unsympathetic and my doctor was useless. It was only when I went to university when my GP prescribed the pill and mega doses of ibuprofen that things got better. I'm sure you don't want to scare girls by suggesting that they might find periods very painful, but it's really not fair to dismiss the fact that they could have more than a bit of discomfort. Please do make sure that alongside the reassurance that for most it won't be too bad for some girls being in a a lot of pain during your period is a reality, and there are things you can do about it (dd's period basket includes a bottle of ibuprofen).

Some fantastic posts on here.

I think I need to be a bit more pro-active with my DDs - 9 and 7yo. I've always been honest and open about periods when they were smaller and wandering into the bathroom asking what I was doing, what was the blood etc. but I wonder how much of that they remember now?

We have talked recently about breasts developing and how that feels, as 9yo was saying her nipples feel itchy - so we talked about breast buds popping out and how they don't necessarily do it at the same time - both dds thought that was hilarious

Bought "What is happening to me?" and read it with my daughter when she was about 8 1/2. It was a good way of prompting more questions, so we could talk more about these things. I felt it was important, that she new about puberty, before she and her friends started to develop (and at this age some were beginning to look more mature"

She now has the book in her own room and can dip into it, when she wants. I also have a more sophisticated book, which we will start going through when she is about 11-12, I think.

I think it is very important to start talking about these things before the age of about 10ish. Around that age, kids tend to start listening more to their peers than parents and teachers. So you need to make sure they get the right end of the stick, before all the half-baked rumours start circulating.

Arrgh - couldn't figure out, if you can edit post after submitting - I do know how to spell "KNEW"

Yes dd is nearly 11 and we have had the chat. We went to the supermarket an bought a variety of products tested them out. We talked about emotions etc she knows I can get grumpy at certain times of the month. I also bought her a book that I was recommended. So she could go away and read it. She ha used the book to ask me questions. I have also made her an emergency pack to go in her PE bag at school. Containing 2 pad 2 tampons a change of underwear and some feminine wipes to clean up. Should she start at school. I feel confident that she knows I am open to the subject and she has said to me that she found it less embarrassing at school because we had already chatted about it. She was 10 when we started talking about it because I noticed her breast started budding. Which is the first sign. We have also talked about hygiene. And spots and emotions. And a very basic chat about sex. We have also talked about what happens to boys during puberty. As I think it's important for both sexes to know. I guess it helps that I used to teach this when I was a youth worker. Lol

I agree with the posters who have said to introduce the concept of periods well before the age it actually starts to become a reality - I think 10 is a little late as I recall some of DD's friends at primary beginning their periods at that age.

Personally I started making sure my daughter was informed at about 8 or 9. Nothing huge, I've always been very open in the bathroom so all my children - boys & girls - have known about periods in an age appropriate way from little, I just made extra efforts to ensure she was clear about what it was (from; 'your body's way of letting you know it's mature enough to have a baby' to 'shedding of the womb lining about once a month' depending on how much detail she was ready to hear), when it might happen and what she should do (get me; know where the supplies of sanitary towels were; know how to use them, & more importantly know how to dispose of them appropriately). I also talked to her about what it meant for her physiologically i.e. able to get pregnant, and hormonally - that it was even more important to eat right & take care of herself now. And about bathing/swimming i.e what she can & can't do (can take a bath, but shower might be better. Can swim if using a tampon but not if using a pad.)

I did get her a book when she was about 10 or 11, which she keeps in her room. I think she's looked at it, but I can't be sure. She's 15 now and didn't start her periods until just after she was 14. She was the last of her group which caused some tears in itself, but all in all I think it's been an OK transition. I feel she knew what it was & what to do about it, & that she could ask me, or her Dad if anything about her periods was worrying her. I guess that's about as much as I could hope for from the transition?

DH and I talked to DD's when they were 6 and 4. They had seen my tampons and wanted to know what they were for.

We said the body gets rid of things it has no use for, eg., poo and wee. Periods are the body's way of getting rid of the egg that hasn't been used to make a baby. They both seemed to take it in, we had had the " where do babies come from?" talk a couple of months earlier.

I suppose it helps a bit that DH is a doctor and I'm a nurse, so bodily functions aren't too embarrassing.

I had a 'the' chat with my daughter when she was in Yr5, a year before the school did it as a character in a programme was getting teased for being a virgin, and she asked what that was.

When she did have the lesson at school she did get a bit mixed up and on the way home said to my OH that she didn't want to use those tampons and put it up her bum! So, had to have another word with her to clear that up!

She is now 14, 15 in Jan and she started almost a year ago. Prior to this, she had a little bag with towels in, some wipes and clean knickers so if she started she was prepared. She seems to not have any major problems, not too much pain, just VERY VERY moody and stoppy, but she won't admit the evening primrose and vitamin tablets take the edge off the nastiness. Like others, I keep a good supply of towels in, she prefers non winged ones, with wings, when getting changed for PE, everyone knows! I have also got a box of tampons and she has given them a go, but she is not keen

DD (almost10) had seen "Mummy's Nappies" (her words not mine) in the bathroom ever since she was teeny.

Had "the chat" just before the summer, as she was starting to "bud", and had announced that "her bits were all fluffy"!

Had already bought the "Little Book of Growing Up" for when the time was right, so we had the chat about periods and then we read the book together and all was fine, although so she doesnt think much of the way babies are really made. She has asked lots of other questions since, and i have answered them as honestly as I can. I dont see the point in lieing about it to be honest.

I was, however, a little upset when she asked her dad to take her into our local Asda to buy a "proper" deodorant, and to buy her first sanitary products, so she could be prepared. She chose towels, but does know that there are other things she can use if she wants to. She did ask me if i would help her put a tampon in though, and i had to say that i thought she would be better off trying to do it herself, and that it wasnt really something i could do for her

All in all I think it was a very positive conversation, and I have told her that when and if her periods start its nothing to be afraid of , and like many others have played down the pain side of things, as I desperately hope she doesnt suffer like i used to when i was younger, but she does know it may give her a bit of a tummy ache.

And btw Lil-Lets, I am sorry to tell you that ASDA already has its own range of teenage sanitary products, and has had since at least May this year. Yours are probably more nicely packaged of course.

All the dcs (including dd1 who is 9) have seen me with pads and tampons and all asked about them from an early age so they already know the basics (ds1 is almost 8 and ds2 is 4). They also know about sex. Funnily enough ds2 has been asking about where babies come from again in the past few days, I think that's because I'm pregnant though.

Firm believer in telling them all about their own bodies from an early age so it's all normal and not taboo at all. Periods are normal and they view it as such.

Oh, also marking my place. DD was 11 last week and has little boobs which she is VERY proud of. My mum had 'the talk' with me when I was about 9 and I remember going in to school and telling all my friends and they were like . They thought I was making it all up.

I can't remember when I first talked to DD about it - it seems like she's always known - she is a very curious and uninhibited child and loves to have a good old chat about bodies, sex, babies etc. So I just go with the flow (ha ha). I have never fudged any of her questions or avoided them - best to deal with head on so it becomes matter of fact rather than mysterious.

I have shown her pads and tampons (which she was a bit horrified by). It helps that she is at an all girls school, although they are so developmentally different in Year 6 - she did say they have a book in their classroom which is quite graphic in its detail and she was horrified on behalf of the younger girls in the class. 'They don't need to know all that yet, mummy,' she said.

Things have really moved on from the sanitary belts and looped towels of my day. God! To think there really were such things.

I was in Sainsburys today and there were some really pretty products -Lilets looked nice and there was a brand called Moxie? I think, that I'd never seen before that had some really pretty packaging. Made periods look almost exciting. I will def be going for something pretty for DD asap.

My DD is 7, nearly 8. DS is 11, nearly 12. We've always talked about bodies, genitals, birth, sex, periods, etc in as much detail as seemed relevant or more importantly interesting at the time. I took the view that by starting really really young, when neither of us were embarrassed, we would never become so, or at least not until the children already knew everything they needed from me. I've yet to find out whether it's worked .

We have a really good book called Let's talk about sex. (Try saying that without bursting into Salt'n'Pepa). I leave it lying around on the landing bookshelf so anyone can read it when they're feeling curious.

Dd is ten and we had the talk last year. I've always been fairly open with her, she seems boxes of tampons in the bathroom and asked what they were and I'd always told her. I bought a book from amazon and we looked at it together and then I left it with her. I've also bought her some towels and put them in her school bag so if it starts at school she can sort herself out. I think the main thing isto be honest and to explain stuff in a way they an understand.

I gave DD a leaflet to read and then we spent time going though it.

No we didnt find it tricky at all.

I felt fine talking to DD but felt sad that she was already growing up so quickly.

Keep it simple to start with and have several chats rather than one big one. There will always be areas that get confusing. so repeating it isnt a bad thing. I also got DD to tell me what she knew rather than me just talking.
My DD has actually told her friends to talk to their mums or the school nurse because DD doesnt want to talk about it with them.

Other family members are fine, we have always explained everything to our children so nothing is a major issue. We make sure all "products" are in the bathroom incase anything is needed and TBH the males take little notice of anything other than hair gel and smelly shower gels. [hwink]

I found it all easy to talk about. Probably the most difficult was explaining why people would want to use a tampon (DD currently thinks the whole idea of putting something inside is disgusting![hshock])

My DD has known from very young about periods.. We had a chat when she was about 4 after I discovered a whole pack of panty liners stuck to the patio windows! Only the basics at first but more detailed as she got older.

Not sure about teen towels...My daughter 13 now likes the old fashioned big fat sanitary towels.

Dd started a few months ago just before her 11th birthday and just before starting secondary so lots of hurdles at once.

I am definitely going to Boots today to look for these pads as the ones she uses now are a bit hard and scratchy and wide (though she is the same size in height as me, her body is narrower if that makes sense!).

She was worried about school but I told her that loads of girls were in the same position.

She liked the website and had a good read of it. Are your questions moderated? As it looks like they might need to be ;-).

Her brother (9) knows what periods are and dd told him when she had started. He said 'great' and went back to playing his game. I was pleased he was not fazed - last thing I wanted was him going eeewwww which he didn't thank goodness. So I think it's important to explain to boys that it's a normal, healthy bodily function.

She was excited when she started and exactly the same age I was. I must admit, I had completely forgotten what it was like and how they are often irregular at first till they settle into a pattern! I think parents need some info too - it's been a long time for most of us!

I had v heavy and painful periods so I hope she doesn't go the same way but if she does, I will take her to the doctor and I'm hoping they are more responsive than they were in my day!

For any cramps, we use hot water bottles.

Would appreciate some help about introducing tampons.
My daugher is in a swim club and starting her periods has reduced her swim time.
She insists on pads even tho they are very messy and don't seem to cope with the flow.
I can't understand the problem about using tampons. I've even bought her lubricant to help with putting them in. We've read the books and the leaflets but she's just too squeamish and Iam losing patience. I've even offered to help!

As an aside, does anyone know if there is any link between mums and daughters in terms of the amount of pain/blood loss? I have always wondered, but my mum never talked to ma about her periods.

I doubt it, from my own experience.

My mum's periods were regular as clockwork and very painful at first, but got better after she had children. They were never unmanageably heavy.

Mine OTOH were never regular and caused me no pain or physical discomfort for the first 2y. They were always heavy, and even as san-pro improved (I started with belts just before self-adhesive came in) I still struggled with leaks.

After the first couple of years my periods started getting uncomfortable enough that I needed to take something fir them, but they were never actually painful. Like my mum, they became much easier (though still irregular and heavy) after having babies.

I think that the difference in painfulness is significant, though, because my mum knew nothing when she started, and a kindly neighbour sorted her out, whereas I knew what to expect when I started and my mum treated it with pride and joy.

I told her about the facts of life when she was quite young, and now she is 12 (and not started), I've explained how her body is changing and how it fits in with what I've described. She does get a little embarrassed though, so I tread carefully!

bibiane, all I did was encourage DD to try. Explained that there was no need to get into yoga positions to insert them, and to start with the smallest size to practice. Practice once a day, even if you dont have your period. It takes time and patience and practice to know your own body and what angle it needs to go in at.

Just keep trying...at some point, that little sucker is going to go in, and thats their lightbulb moment. Once they have done it, they will never go back to pads.

It took DD a year to pluck up the courage to even try. I think the idea was in her head that thats an itty-bitty hole, and a tampon looks huge when you are just young.

My DD (just turned 12) has been having periods for about six months now and refuses to even think about tampons - "yuck, Mum, you mean it goes up there?? She won't consider it and therefore I don't want to make an issue of it. I have used tampons since the very first day I started my periods, when my mother gave me money and sent me off to the chemist on my own to sort it out. Not particularly helpful...!

As for the chat itself, I talked to my DD when she first start getting underarm and pubic hair about a year ago (she showed me and was a little concerned about it). I told her that it was all normal and that's when I mentioned that she would soon be starting her periods. She was under the impression (how, I don't know) that her first period would result in blood gushing down her legs and her fear was that it would happen at school. I made sure that I had pads available for her and she took them in her school bag (inside a small decorative box which could easily have passed for a compact) and she was ready and without fear when it all eventually happened.

I have stressed to her on many occasions that what she is going through is nothing new and I, myself, have been through it all; she seems to be happier in the knowledge that I've been there, done that and got the t-shirt!