NOW CLOSED: Do you have a DD aged 8-14? Have you had a chat about periods? Are you about to? Please share your tips here - you could win a £100 voucher

[AnnMumsnet]

We've been asked by Lil-Lets to find out your best tips for this sometimes tricky conversation.

Lil-Lets have just launched a new range of teen towels as well as a website www.becomingateen.co.uk which "is full of information and advice for young girls about puberty and periods, what products are available and how to use them correctly. The website includes a downloadable booklet and lots of helpful videos".

The new teen towels have been developed in consultation with a panel of teen girls - they are smaller and narrower than standard towels - and they say "Lil-Lets teens ultra towels are the only towels in the UK specifically designed to fit younger bodies. Despite being smaller, they're more absorbent than the leading adult towel and are available in day and night sizes. Prettily packaged in a drawstring bag with ribbons and a removable sleeve for ultimate discretion, each individual towel also comes in a whisper wrapper".

Lil-Lets would love to include some wisdom on their site, from Mumsnet mums who have experienced their DD going through puberty or who have had the chat.

So, please share your experiences here - let us know - how you approached your DD, or did she ask you? Did you or your DD find it a tricky conversation, or did it bring you closer? How did it make you feel talking to your DD about periods? What tips would you share with other mums or with other young girls? What advice would your DD give to someone else her age? How do other family members react to this stage in development - eg dads, brothers, older or younger sisters? What was easy about the chat, and what was more tricky?

Lil-lets are also keen to get your feedback on the product and packaging, and would also love to hear any suggestions for improving this.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one winner will get a £100 Love2Shop voucher.

Stories and tips may be used on the Lil-lets website www.becomingateen.co.uk but your MN name will not be used.

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Thanks for that limb, im going to order them now.

Yes thanks - whichis the tamest simplest of them 3?

DD had the talk at school age 11, and then started her period fairly shortly after.
For me, I tried to stress that just because it is red like blood, it's nothing to be afraid of, not like when you cut yourself. She is coping really well with it.

Somewhat ickily but handily, one of our toilets doesn't flush very well so there's sometimes a bit of blood left at the bottom of the bowl when I have a period, which lead onto "the conversation" with DD at a very early age.

DM and I were to discover in casual conversation with DB that he had reached the age of 16ish and still assumed that women only needed to buy one sanitary towel each month - school PHSE lessons had covered the fact that endometrium and egg are washed out with a few cc of blood each month, but not the mechanics of the fact that it keeps going more or less continuously for several days. So my top tip is to make sure you prepare your DDs for that aspect, because it's surprisingly easy to miss out.

I'm in a slightly different position, as I'm a stepmum - so I'm caught in the "wanting to help but not wanting to tread on toes" dilemma. My DSDs are 13 (twins) and one of them started her period about a year ago. She is really struggling :(

It turns out her mum is not very approachable about this and tells her off if she has leaks (sorry - this isn't the right thread, just need to rant) so I try and help her come to terms with what's happening, without overtly bringing it up as it just embarrasses her.

I do make a point of focusing on my own experiences - not in a self-involved way, but because DSD is not comfortable talking about her own body yet. So I freely grumble about tummy cramps, I've told her I leak every month and it's really no big deal, buy sanpro when out with her just like any other product, to show it's all normal. DH, her dad, is also totally nonplussed by it all, so he is involved in the conversation. I think it's important she sees that real men aren't freaked out by a bit of blood :o

I would love to be able to just talk more directly to her but she would be mortified :( I do know that my approach is helping though. She always wants to stay here when she's on her period, I think she feels safer and more comfy with us.

LOVE the prospect of teen sized pads, they will be great for her.

My advice would be to get practical, let them practice putting pads in a pair of knickers, experiment with water and see how the pad/tampon works.

Also where possible give them some written information so they have chance to read it in their own time.

my dd is nearly 9 and today i discovered she had body odour, she did try telling me the other day but i brushed it off so i think its about time we had a chat so i will be watching this thread with interest!

I have never liked the idea of one big serious chat to reveal all (remember this with my mother and it was dreadful) so have always mentioned periods etc. As DD is now nearly 10 and I can see her breasts are developing, I think I will need to remind her. One conversation had her saying "I don't want lots of blood just squirting out!"
I also try not to moan about my own periods which I find quite delibilitating but DD was terribly emotional about something the other day and I gently suggested to her that as part of growing up women can have strong feelings up and down and be teary about lots of things.

I had 'The Talk' with DD just after her 9th birthday as she had been showing early signs- moodiness, slight shape changes etc. and I wanted her to be fully prepared. I got an Usborne book aimed at her age, some girls towels and deodorant. DD doesn't like to talk about it much but I had always been open about my own periods so she had a rough idea anyway.

She liked having knowledge her younger sister wasn't going to have for a couple of years and I think that strengthened our bond. She is growing up and although scary at times, it is a wonderful, special time for us. I am planning on celebrating when she starts her period with a small party or girly treat like they do in other cultures, making it special rather than hiding it away. Obviously I will be discreet, no banners or announcements in the local paper.

:)

when I was 11 I found a leaflet on my pillow and a pack of HUGE sanitary pads had mysteriously found their way into my bottom drawer

I'd never seen anything like it! (my mum had a hysterectomy when she had me and my twin brother) so it was a total shock and I was determined that if I had girls it wouldn't be a secret

as anymother who has had to take a toddler into a public toilet during their periods knows, questions come thick and fast!

my daughters at 2/3 asked 'what's that mouse thing for?' very loudly in a public toilet, I could have died! so I told them that it was to help me keep my pants clean when I have a tummy ache

as they have grown up sanitary protection has been open in the bathroom, I make a point of making sure they see me pack it in my bag if I'm out for the day so it is no different to a packet of tissues

when my daughter went on pack holiday with brownies I decided it was the right time to have the chat -I didn't think that she would start but she was with 10 year olds and I didn't want her asking them any embarrassing questions

I asked her to tellk me what she knew about periods and it went on from there -she understands that the womb is an organ just like the heart or lungs and it has a job to do, and that periods show that the womb is doing it's job, and she was perfectly happy with that

she is now 10 and when we are in the supermarket and I am buying tampons, she asks me if she will need them soon -I always tell her that I was 12 so she might do but she might have a little while to wait (at least I hope so, she is only in year 5

I'm glad they are doing a slimmer version for girls as I can remember the big pads screwing up and leaking, and whe you go to mixed high school where the uniform is skirts, it wasn't much fun!

Dd is 12 and I first talked to her about periods when she was about 7 as she'd been asking. I made sure I explained every thing at her level and rather than bombarding her I just kept it simple at first. In our first chat I told her that girls are born with lots of eggs in their body and when they are older one of these eggs is released each month. I said that if the woman doesnt want to have a baby then the egg breaks down and passes through her vagina as blood. She was happy with that.

I then followed this chat up by buying her a book about periods and puberty aimed at her age. We'd read it together and I'd answer any questions as they came up. I showed her some sanitary towels too.

As she us now showing signs that she may soon start her periods I've shown her how to use a sanitary towel and told her where I keep them in case I'm not there when she needs one.

I've also put a few sanitary towels in a little make up purse that she can keep in her school bag in case it happens at school.

I don't think I ever had to have 'a talk' with either DD (13 and 15). I answered questions as they came right from when they were tiny. I left particular books on each of their beds at certain points, like 'Mummy laid an egg' and others. They read them and I asked them if they had any questions.
I've always been very open about why I am moody or hurting too.

I also bought them an assortment of pads and tampons when each of them was about 9 and suggested they take them out and explored them a bit.

I keep trying to persuade them both they need a mooncup but they don't share my fascination with menstrual goop. yet........ I'm sure that will come in time though.

AtYourCervix, loving the Halloween name, bet your zombie plan didn't cover that one!?

No point in teen size pads for DD (13) she gets heavier periods than me.
She's also taller than me and I cheat the mini pill does wonders for reducing periods.
Like many others I think she's always just seen things about and had things explained as she got older. I be given her the Usborne book and they had " sex education" in Y6.
This is in "" because DD says it was a lot of waffle about puberty and no mention that this happens so you can have sex and babies (well it is a church school I suppose)

She says her year older friend gave a much better, accurate but very silly mad professor voice, talk one night at Guide camp.
I had to explain periods to my younger sister in the park on day, because she insisted I explained the joke I'd just told her. (I hadn't a clue she didn't know, I couldn't remember ever not knowing)

I never had a proper one-to-one discussion as such. I just answer questions as they come. DDs noticed I had sanitary napkins in the bath cabinet and asked what were they for. Little discussions with them during the course of daily life when the girls want to learn more about animals, mammals, reproduction, etc. can be linked to the human body as well. They know that women menstruate, women produce eggs, the menstruation is part of the reproduction cycle. I just haven't gotten to the part about sperm though... I reckon they pretty much "get" the concept that female mammals produce eggs and from the eggs come babies. If I introduce the concept of sperm and that males produce it from their genitals, they would be curious to know how the sperm gets to the egg. Not sure how to do that one yet without getting to sex ed! I'd be buying one of those body books for girls for DD1 who's turning 9, some day, and then allow her to ask me questions if she wants to.

I'v talked about it a lot over the years with DD - especially during my pregnancies with DS2 & 3, as she was old enough to get it all by then. She claimed to have started a while ago, so we ended up having a special cake for dessert, but I think it was a false start and perhaps she was being a little 'keen'. But at least I know she's well prepared for when it does happen! And we have equipment to hand!

DD is 8 in 3 weeks and has just started developing breast buds and is decidedly whiffy under the arms after PE. She's definitely younger than I was although I thought I developed quite early (bra needed in Yr6, although no period until Yr8 iirc) I think it's time for an age appropriate book and a bit of a chat - we have the boys version of What's Happening To Me (the book mentioned by Limsberg above, or below depending on how you're reading this!)

Okay, belay that. I just rang my Mum to check with her how old I was and after everyone earwigging on that conversation and the boys dragging out their book and showing DD the girl section at the back, me and DD have have a chat about periods using the diagrams in the boys book and DS2s helpful comments I'll still get her own book, but we've broken the ice at least (thanks for that, and thanks for prompting a very nice nostalgic chat with my Mum too)

Ha! And having just been on the website I've just discovered that the night towels I just got in my Tesco delivery (they were on offer) are actually designed for teenagers. I did wonder why they were so twee pretty! That'll teach me to read the blurb rather than just the price

noyouhavehadawee - What's happening to me? Usborne Books, there is a pink girls edition and blue boys edition. The girls edition covers puberty, feelings, periods etc but also healthy eating and problems relating to peer pressure. It also outlines the boys changes.

It is clearly written and illustrated, and aimed at 8+ reading age. Nothing gory or horrid and the beauty of this one is that the topic is on one double page and progressive so you can just dip into the right section as appropriate.

It will be celebrated in our house not hidden as a shameful secret.

I never received a pre-talk, mum had problems down there after I was born and IT was all removed hastily before I became aware of such things.

When my time came mum was ill again and was asleep a lot. I was 9/10 I remember being in pain for a week and my bits hurting so badly I couldn't move, then I started and thought I was dying. Hid my clothes- washing them myself in the bathroom sink and using toilet roll to try to stop it. I was terrified I had something terminal couldn't tell my dad as he was worried about mum etc.

My much older sister found my bed sheets on the third day and we had the chat. Best conversation we ever had funnily enough. And I finally understood why my sister had been so mad at me when I found her tampax and opened them. I'd used the tubes (clean unused) to build something and must have opened a whole boxful, I didn't know what they were for.

When mum was better we all sat together and had a talk about it and I was just relieved I wasn't going to die more than anything. Mum used to have to put the pads behind the hot water tank in the airing cupboard because dad didn't want to know about such things. And you still got belt and loop ones- uurgh they were horrid.

I have not tried to hide things from my DD there are a few books on the shelf for free access. Questions are answered openly and honestly. The dog having a season when she was 6 covered a lot of questions, as did a friends puppies. But she is 8, already needs to use deodorant, desperate to wear a bra instead of a crop top, and is asking me about shaving etc. If there is an opportunity to talk about growing up we do, fact of life no point hiding from it.

I have concerns I keep to myself, mostly the pain and inconvenience at school with their open cubicles and noise/extra time. I was worried about pad size if she starts sooner than later, so will be very interested to see what Lil-lets have produced.

My DD refused to discuss it at all until year 5 talk at school. She asked a few questions, as she is a queasy child I said it was un used placenta that breaks down, comes out reddy/browny blood and nothing to worry about.
She then "pooed" herself twice one night and when I sorted the washing that day, I discovered she had started. Had to go up to school with clean nknickers, pads and personal wipes.
I explained what it was, she was unfazed and went and sorted herself out. I think the key is to just play it down. All this "becoming a woman" stuff is frightening for some girls, my DD has since had tears on and off about how unfair it is that she has to deal wth this and is approaching 3yrs now of them when most of her friends haven't had them yet.
I have just bought a box of tampax with her in mind and left them in the drawer for her to see them - she hasn't asked but she will when she is ready.
SHe denied pubic hair but did infact have it, and really is a unique thing, doesn't want to grow up - she has peter pan syndrome I reckon!

I'm very very interested in these towels and packaging - she is always mortified at school by rustling wrappers as "everyone knows". She goes to an all girls school anyway. ALso, I have to hunt round currently for Always WITHOUT wings as the wings are uncomfortable for her. Tink these narrower ones could be great!

my DD started last year and was so excited! We have always discussed, and she had a variety of products to try from about age 12...never a big deal.

Things we discussed - what a first period would look like - brown rather than red. How long it would last (The excitement only lasted 6 hours before she was mortified to discover that the little bit of spotting was actually going to be a constant flow and last 5 or 6 days) and how to use a san towel (how to open it, how to stick it on, how to dispose of it. )

After about a year, she was ready to try Tampons, and again I bought her a variety of products with and without applicators to try.

Things I wish Id done differently:

She has a thick discharge for about 6 months before her periods started. I dont remember having it, and so I was worried and she was worried... I would have been good to be able to reassure her about that at the time.

She's always been a tomboy, and so her personal hygiene was not up to scratch in the early days - dirty undies and used towels left all over the bathroom floor for the world to see.

Because we had not made a big deal about it, she initially had no qualms about telling everyone...even a male teacher and her grandfather. So we needed to just establish that somethings, while entirely normal and natural, were not in the category of "discussions to be had at the dinner table"

I was excited when I started too! I rushed downstairs and told mum straight away. I'm sure it's because mum had always talked about it in a positive way, it was a rite of passage, though she was also honest about the downsides (heaviness etc). Same with getting my first bra, it meant I was growing up and that was awesome :o

Honesty is the best policy.
I had the chat with DD12 a while ago, and I just told her the facts, all the things she might be facing, ie cramps etc, I dont want to scare her, or make her worry, but in all matters body related, I like her to know everything. I spent most of my teen years worrying about things like that that my mother didnt tell me. I then told her of all the options for sanpro, and at some point very soon, we will go shopping and buy a good selection.

I've had lots of chats with dd about the entire reproductive cycle, since she was about 3 and saw me changing a tampon and asked. It started off with v simple answers addressing the question asked and has progressed to longer and longer explanations. She hated it when I waved my hands around vaguely pointing at bits of my body - I hadn't realised I was doing it, but I think it made it too personal,; that was the only difficulty.

Drip feeding seems to work with dd, who is now 12 and had her first period when she was off camping with her dad (I was at home). She hadn't packed any pads, though we had them at home, and the poor girl had to suffer being taken to the chemist and her dad asking about things in a loud voice. Apart from that, they both managed very well.

She didn't have cramps or anything and hasn't had a period since, but they're not always bang on the money straight away.

She is completely unfazed by it all, it seems (apart from having an embarrassing dad). Quite a few of her friends started their periods 'ages ago'.