16yr with autism old wants to leave school, no qualifications or job

[Slippyslippers]

My 16yr old daughter is autistic, finds school really difficult. Her anxiety has really taken over the last few years & she barely functions at school so hasn't been able to go to class, she has been in a room on her own. She has also had years of bullying. She doesn't have a single friend. The school & I would really like her to stay on 1 more year to at least get her N5 English.

She started back yesterday & the bullies started on her so she sat in the loo upset instead of staying in class. It's killing her going to school & it's breaking my heart. She doesn't accept her diagnosis so wont go into the ASN classes.

If she leaves school she is going to be even more isolated sitting in the house doing nothing as I work full time. I've asked her to speak to the careers advisor to find out if she could move to college but she hasn't done this yet. She will also be limited as she only has N4 qualifications. We are in Scotland in case this makes a difference.
My other issue is that as a single parent I receive UC & I'm worried I will lose this if she leaves full time education (I know how selfish that sounds but I rely on it to pay the mortgage). I had to take a lower paid job as I was getting constant calls from the school & having to leave to pick her up.
My main questions are, should I let her leave school to save her mental health (she also has loads of physical health issues all related to stress & anxiety).
Will I lose the UC if she does leave FT education.

Thanks if you got this far.

This sounds really tough and my experience is all based on the English system. It’s difficult when DD doesn’t want to access support available.

Will she read any books? M is for autism, Martian in the playground or any by the many female autistic writers? Browse Jessica Kingsley or NAS bookshop.

I’d contact some local support groups for advice. Are there any groups available for social activities? Does she know any other autistic girls?

https://www.scottishautism.org/

https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/scotland/moving-forward

Thanks so much. I will have a look at the books. She wouldn't engage with the support groups as she's not fully accepting of her diagnosis. Maybe with time....

I would encourage DD to remain in some form of education or training. But that doesn’t have to be something that leaves her feeling unsupported. It might help to look at Enquire. You could also look at Talking About Tomorrow, LEAD Scotland and Skills Development Scotland.

UC isn’t straightforward. If DD is not in full-time education, you will stop receiving the child element (and disabled child/severely disabled child element if you get that) of UC. However, in some situations, there can be extensions.

Sorry I can’t really offer any advice but my 17 year old son is similar. He’s at college but doesn’t want to do the course he’s enrolled on. He hated the course he did last year and has made very little progress. He doesn’t accept his diagnosis and won’t accept any of the suggestions made by college.

He has ambitions but they are far beyond what he’s capable of (at the moment) … he blames me and seems to think his future is in my hands rather than his own. He’s incredibly difficult and I am struggling to see any kind of future for him in terms of employment and qualifications. I keep thinking he’ll mature and grow up but another year passes and we’re no further forward. It’s very hard and frustrating.