The Goose and Carrot July Edition

[Lougle]

All welcome, and everything disappears after 90 days.

My take would be become perfect at the rest and skim the boring bits. I certainly wouldn’t let her be unhappy about plants as there’s tons of other bits.

@inthequietofdawn it has been relentless for DS1 and you. Hope identifying the cause and treatment is quick.

The awful reality of living with Epilepsy is an eye opener to read. To have something so unpredictable and debilitating to cope with is just bigger than I ever imagined.

@Lougle all round yours for the veg when the apocalypse hits. DD didn’t like the plant bit of science but loved art so she drew illustrations and labelled while I read aloud all the ‘boring’ stuff. Or she could just skip that part if a 4 is already being obtained. Back to more of the same for DD, same pace and subjects she just needs to change her routine back and that’s being firmly rejected atm. We have time, I just get worn out by the chivvying.

You're doing a brilliant job with her @TheGoodCat . I think sometimes it's easier for us on the outside to see the huge progress that is made - when you're so close to it, everything feels frustratingly slow. I remember posts from the last years where holding her head up and getting out of bed were challenges to be tackled. Now you're tackling studies...phenomenal!

I agree with @Lougle , you are doing an amazing job @TheGoodCat .

Thank you it means a lot.

drum roll please……. DD left the house for the first time ever alone. I was out and she had 45 mins to wait for DH to get home so she went and walked 100 meters to end of the road to meet him. No texting or planning just surprised him.

Wat???!!!!!

Honestly that is FANTASTIC! What a really cool surprise.

@TheGoodCat How amazing!!! Well done DD. That is fabulous.

I know!!! I’m so surprised. Thrilled for her, guess I need to get keys cut as front door was wide open. No agenda no drama just thought it would be nice to stretch her legs and meet dad.

That is just brilliant!! Marching to the beat of her own drum. What a girl.

DD2 did the second past paper in biology today. There were 2 big questions that she hadn't been taught about (she left school early in year 10) , but she still scored 1 mark off a 4 overall, so I was delighted. Tbh, I wasn't sure if I was a bit mean on a couple of questions because she wasn't exactly using the words stated but the meaning aligned clearly. So she might have scraped a pass.

I took DD2 to the GP today. Blood tests tomorrow morning. DD1 starts hydro tomorrow, too.

@inthequietofdawn how is DS1?

Good luck with hydro.

Do any of you still manage to keep up with friends?

That’s fab @inthequietofdawn and well done DD @Lougle on the biology. My DD1 did biology gcse & alevel they were very very particular about terminology to get marks so I would definitely get her learning a terminology cheat sheet if she’s going to sit the exam. We’ve been useing the south west sciences online package for chemistry & physics and DD2 is finding it pretty ND “friendly” in its logical laid out online. Plus very good value for the content you get videos, print outs and mini tests.

That's great @TheGoodCat

Hope hydro is as good as last time @Lougle

I don't really keep up with friends in person @Wellzizizbetter I do keep in touch a lot over e-mail, sometimes a video call, some MNing people, we have street parties here though we are the youngest and there hasn't been one since last summer and trouble is with DS we can't invite back. When we go swimming we chat to a lot of people there but don't do that in the lighter months as we garden so much. I have been invited to meet up with 3 different people in 3 different places and I would love to see them all but don't drive so DH would need to come and he's not that keen. Vast majority of time its fine as I'm someone who needs my own space but might rejoin swimming again to chat to people. Though we have so many house and garden projects still not sure its worth it yet. Because I have DH and sometimes DD its fine though DH is deaf in one ear and limited hearing in other and won't wear his hearing aids. So end up talking to the cat and silkies but that's limited to food and cuddles.

We have started work on downstairs bathroom (DSs) and small room next to it as not much can do on shed now until late October. Luckily came for black bin so we are clearing out and will paint though not sure of exact itinerary. We are planning to move washing machine and tumble drier out of DSs bathroom to small room but small room (pantry) is full of stuff so we need to find other homes for those. We will get both rooms tiled then in time maybe add a bath to DSs bathroom.

DH has quite a big friend group in France we see when we go over or he sees when he goes alone and he meets a few people here so he manages to keep friends going. I get peopled out very easily but do enjoy chatting to people when we go on holiday etc. Sometimes I prefer lighter chat though and so people see occasionally can work better. I have quite a lot of contacts through cancer treatment but it can be nice but also you see people getting it back and dying.

@Lougle well done DD2. I hope it boosts her confidence. You probably haven’t been too harsh. I second what @Beachgosling said. Biology requires specific vocabulary to be used and the mark scheme is exacting.

After being seen yesterday, we went back to the hospital for an ultrasound scan this morning. It was difficult to get good images even with DS1 being held, but it showed cholecystitis. There were also some changes to his liver compared to his last USS, but we already know he has CFLD so not that unsurprising, especially with the gallbladder being inflamed. Rather than hang around, we have come home and waiting for the consultant to call with a plan.

@Wellzizizbetter I manage to keep in touch with friends, but meeting up can be more difficult.

So he was being stabbed. Poor DS1. Good idea to go home while you wait.

@Lougle yes, this time stabbed did mean a stabbing pain. If he could, DS1 would probably say I told you so. Last night DS1 was still shouting ‘DS1 stabbed’. DS2’s girlfriend was here and asked me if DS1 was OK. It made me realise I am glad the neighbours know DS1 has additional needs and know what he is like. Otherwise I fear we would have the police at the door whenever DS shouts like that.

Poor ds1 @inthequietofdawn sending peace and no pain magic from me.

@Tulipandmagnolia bathroom plans sound good. Ds will love his own bath and getting pesky laundry doers out of his bathroom. I’m tired of builders and tradesmen. All really lovely but I like my house to myself.

I feel like I’m the unreliable flaky friend who always “tries to make it” but can’t. I realised this week that it’s a long time since I made a new friend. That seems a bit sad.

@Wellzizizbetter I do, but only friends who can accept that I might need to pull out last minute, and I don't commit to big things often.

Sorry to hear that DS1 stabbing pain described was accurate @inthequietofdawn i hope they have a plan to help him. I collapsed twice from gallbladder pain before I was diagnosed & then had it removed via keyhole It was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced.

In terms of friends I’m lucky I have one lovely uni one who doesn’t have kids but she lives a few hours drive away. I do have a couple friends from school run days with my eldest but they don’t really understand the difficulties of having a child who’s on a different path. I do protect time for myself and I’m very lucky to have a DH who supports this as I need fresh air and exercise daily to stay sane as he does too. Occasionally I make parkrun just to say hello to friendly faces as it’s popular in our neighbourhood.

Sorry about DS1s pain @inthequietofdawn

Thanks @Wellzizizbetter

I think DS will love not having us go to what is now his bathroom for the washing machine and tumble drier and will love his own bath. We are going to do things in stages and as much by ourselves as possible so should only be workman in for a few hours a few times. Today we have cleared the small room and gone through everything, throwing some things out, cleaning things and moving other things and its empty now. I also cleaned all the floors. We were going to carry on longer but DS was hovering in a parents please can you finish this very soon kind of way with some heavy breathing so we stopped. Need to clean the walls and floor really thoroughly in small room and then paint it. We are going to get washing machine and drier moved in there and floor tiled in there then. And put shelves up. May get a small sink added as well. Then we start on bathroom but we will wait to add bath until new shed is in place and DS lays down in there when shed is out of action as well as laying down in living room and we may have a two days to a week of no shed as we need to take old one down first. Am hoping can do it relatively cheapily. DS has this weird habit of putting a thin layer of soil all over his bathroom so no point going too high spec. That's another advantage hopefully of moving washing machine and drier as hopefully in small room he won't pour soil over them. Though who knows but currently soil goes all over that bathroom (sink, toilet, washing machine, drier and floor and kitchen floor). But he is a heavy washing machine and drier user himself. Am hoping he stops as I get a bit fed up of needing to clean all of that all the time.

This thread made me remember, at one time, if I tried to brush DD1’s hair (because she only does the front herself), she used to accuse me of strangling her! She obviously misunderstood what the word meant! (Her understanding of word meanings is sketchy at the best of times!)

Ds has a habit of saying “don’t shout at me” by which he means don’t tell me what to do. It’s mortifying as though I scream at him all the time. Truthfully I can only remember shouting “absolutely not” once when he was doing something both daft and dangerous, otherwise I’m set to calm or let’s face it the world would end. Still I get “don’t shout at me” practically 20 times a day and mostly in public…..it’s a bit trying.

@LathkillDale and @Wellzizizbetter those made me smile. It is a good job people don’t take our DC’s word as gospel.

Thanks all. We are going to try conservative management with antibiotics, analgesia and fluids and see how DS1 gets on. We are also going to temporarily increase one of his medications for his liver.

@Wellzizizbetter I'm also shouting whenever I am speaking in anything less than a "Go DD1!" tone. To be fair, I do shout on occasion.

Do you all have to look overtly happy 100% of the time too? With DS1, unless you are smiley, he thinks you are sad or angry with him.