The Goose and Carrot July Edition

[Lougle]

All welcome, and everything disappears after 90 days.

Congratulations on results @Lougle and @Beachgosling and hope anyone waiting gets the results they would like.

Hope scan results are good @Wellzizizbetter and thanks to you and @TheGoodCat for the shed asbestos wishes. They have worked and the asbestos cement roof is now off and taken away.

We hardly slept as didn't know what time starting and needed to make sure DS wasn't in the shed or disrupted it, but then we had trouble waking up and DS went to the shed just before 8am when I thought they may arrive. So then told DS we were going to go gardening and put green bin in garden and things out and he went inside house. So we went out leaving breakfast for DS and so we were in the garden and DS inside at 8.15am. I managed to clear shed and gardened for 4.5 hours. We gardened and no sign of the guys but they had said morning and they arrived at 11am or so took roof down and away swept up, 2 lovely boys about DSs age and then I went to clean shed and we also took gutter off. Very tired now but asbestos cement roof has gone. Told DS as came in why roof has gone and that we would put a temp one on this afternoon and he seemed ok just turned iPad up slightly. He's been out to garden several times since. The silkies started massively squeaking about it and then started fighting each other bashing wings but have calmed them down. They normally never fight but one heard the shed work and came out of nest box where she had been for ages and the other two were bashing her. The boy was really sweet and said I love your shed colour, it's baby blue.

Also heard from listed buildings re bathroom that we don't need listed buildings consent as in modern part of house.

Isn’t it funny, that some things hit you and your internal voice just wants to be very blunt about how utterly ridiculous some worries are and some just float over you? I have lots of time for silly worries about exams and school from those lucky enough to have fairly easy rides. I work on the “it’s their biggest problem” idea and accept that it’s as worrying as my biggest problem is to me. People winging on about how impossibly tired they are with one small baby tends to make me rage internally. I just cannot fathom how much fucking “me time” some people need. I guess we all have our triggers.

Yay for those who have made it this far on results day.

Oh yes the win is just getting through anything!

@Lougle congratulations to DD3!

And big congratulations to the all the geese that worked so hard to enable taking of exams. You don’t know until the last minute if the sitting is going to even happen.

Congratulations @Lougle and @Beachgosling. Well done to DDs.

DS2&3 did very well. DS2 is now out with friends making use of the food discounts. DS1’s ones are a more mixed bag which we expected.

@Wellzizizbetter sorry, when you said “At this rate they’ll have people…” it sounded like you didn’t realise that people already do that. I hope your scan is OK and you aren’t waiting too long for results.

He also said to spend your money on antiques, paintings, cars…

If done with the intention of avoiding care fees, that would be deprivation of capital.

He told us to do all these things while in good health. Once you’ve had a heart attack/stroke/cancer then that’s it!

If the intention is to deprive yourself of capital in preparation for avoiding care fees, doing it while well doesn’t automatically mean it isn’t deprivation of capital.

@Wellzizizbetter yes, I think we all get triggered by things to a lesser or greater extent, and I like the bucket analogy. When my bucket is half-empty, I have a lot more capacity for sanguine musings about people and their worries. When my bucket has got so full it's spilling over, my calcium capacity is very low and I feel almost enraged by it.

Congrats @inthequietofdawn . It's quite incredible that in between hospital admissions, general health concerns and all the other challenges he faces, that DS1 managed to sit exams. Any news on your tribunal? It must be a horrible waiting phase.

I think I'm tired of the fight. It's not fun or exciting. It's just a grind. Even 'winning' the right for DD3 to collect her results and pushing the school to invite her friend didn't feel victorious. It just made me realise how tired I am.

@Lougle is is the relentlessness of it, isn’t it? It never ends. There is always something else that needs tackling. It is whac-a-mole.

Sitting exams was an achievement in itself. The results didn’t matter.

Oh, I meant to post. Yes, our appeal was successful. The wait was long. DS1 will have a great package. There will be a gap because the LA has 5 weeks from the Order to finalise, but that doesn’t matter too much as it is looking like DS1 will have the operation on his hip in September.

@inthequietofdawn congratulations! To your boys and you.

@Tulipandmagnolia well done. That’s a lot of hard work. I love baby blue too.

When my bucket is full I tolerate nothing, get offended easily and irritated by everything. I’m delightful with a full bucket.

@inthequietofdawn breaking news! Whoo hoo! Great package 😀😀😀

Lovely to hear @inthequietofdawn the DSs have done well & tribunal success hopefully means you can keep your team of enablers in place for DS1. I hope the prep for his next operation goes smoothly.,
Great to hear @Lougle that DDs pleased with results too, even after awful behaviour of the school.
Sounds like a stressful but successful morning @Tulipandmagnolia with shed roof. I hope you don’t get any downpours whilst sorting out the temp roof. We had a very heavy rain shower this morning. I’m hoping my water butt has caught some of it.
Hope the scan results don’t take too long @Wellzizizbetter .
Im in that afternoon slump at work today just need to get through to Friday then I have two weeks “off”.. well one week is going to be full of jobs & supporting my parents then hopefully a break before Sept grind of prep for next DD2 next exams in Nov ramps up.

I know what you mean @TheGoodCat im especially irritated by folk moaning about how hard the 6weeks of school holidays with their teen kids at home … mine is always here I silently think whilst nodding politely.

That's wonderful news!! I'm so pleased for you.

Yes, whac-a-mole is right. I had to phone the council about DD1's care bill. You can't email. You have to phone and leave a voicemail. Then they phone you...when they get around to it. They bill in 3 weekly cycles by the look of it. She's been billed 105 hours over 6 weeks. Today the lady was lovely, but baffled. I told her she had 9 hours of care, total. She said 'on which week?' Total. So I gave her the dates. She said 'but they're still billing 15 hours per week....' Yep, that's why I phoned... So she did give me an email address, and I've sent them a breakdown of the weekly care hours, the cost, and how much DD1 should have paid taking into account the fee cap. I've also given them a copy of the care logs on the care logging system, so they can see that no care has been logged since 03/07.

The thing is, it's a discrepancy of £400 for DD1. But it's over £2500 that the council has been billed for hours that the care agency hasn't supplied.

Yes it’s tedious. Ds only uses 1.5 hrs of his 9 so they offered to reduce his allowance. I said we were building up to it. His contribution is £12 a week roughly which we pay monthly. It’s not a particularly easy system. The time it takes to pay is over an hour…so in effect it would be cheaper for me to just pay direct from my own pocket.
I agree it’s whackamole. You are all so good to keep going.

@Lougle what an unscrupulous care agency.

@Beachgosling I hope you manage a break during your annual leave.

Thanks @Lougle, @TheGoodCat and @Beachgosling..

@Beachgosling there’s a chance we will still lose some staff. Their contracts end 31st August and there will be a gap, so while I hope they will hang around, there is a chance they won’t. We will need to recruit another tutor as well.

@inthequietofdawn I hope all the stars align for DS1 and everyone that you want carries on.

Thanks @TheGoodCat and @Beachgosling

I love baby blue as well but was surprised it was popular with 19 year old boys. I think DS loves that colour too though as he still uses his pale blue peter rabbit patchwork quilt I got made for him when he was at the start of primary. DS looks like he could be a member of Def Leopard so its funny seeing him with his Peter Rabbit quilt. DH heroically did the replacement temp roof by himself and its done now and hasn't rained yet. DS seems to be fine. We now have to decide whether to order new one or do a DIY job on old one but we are both veering towards new one. At least now we can get the rest of it down ourselves now asbestos has gone.

Congrats on results and appeal @inthequietofdawn

I heard from the black bin lorry team finally and interesting fact of the day they have two different size bin lorries and one definitely does not fit down our road, other one does but very difficult to reschedule but may come tomorrow. DH is continuing his heroic work and has gone to get more cat tuna. We have DHs 60th coming up though he's doing our spa day later so can be with DS on the day. DD keeps messaging me about presents, DH will be very happy to have a present from DD. DD is just off to Austria.

lougle congratulations to Dd3 and I am glad the school managed to do the bare minimum in the end.

beachgosling congratulations to your Dd too. Great to manage to get in and then do well on top. I hope you get a break before the grind starts again.

inthequietofdawn also congratulations to your DSs. It says a lot about them and you that they have achieved so much.
Great news about the tribunal outcome. I hope there isn't too much disruption in the transition and that the hip operation goes smoothly.

tulipandmagnolia good that you got the roof done without stress to or from DS. I hope DD enjoys her Austria trip.

I think the being out of sync with others never ends. I have friends worrying about their children's partners, buying houses and weddings. Meanwhile Ds won't have a shower if I am not at home to talk him through it and I have to go to his routine eye test with him on Monday.

@inthequietofdawn Congratulations on winning the tribunal! Even though statistically, parents are likely to win, nobody can take it for granted!

@inthequietofdawn I can't help but think that the HT of the special school might have had a tipple or two, shuddering with relief that she doesn't have to try and somehow make the impossible work. I hope your team is able to stay.

DD2 is a little despondent and hurt this evening because our friends dropped around a card and gift for DD3 to congratulate her on her GCSEs, but DD2 also got her level 1 cert in Vocational Studies and didn't get any congratulations. I've explained that they probably didn't even clock it because it's GCSE results day so they would have been thinking of that. She seemed to accept it and I've told her how proud I am of her.

Congratulations to DD2 as well. She has had some many difficulties to get that certificate is excellent.

Thank you @NoHaudinMaWheest . It's really hard when the battle scars don't show, isn't it?

Your DS is so very lucky to have to you.

Oh @Lougle, that’s painful. Congratulations to DD2. She has overcome so much. I am sorry for being guilty of the same thing; I didn’t realise DD2 was waiting for results too.

@NoHaudinMaWheest it is hard when the gap widens. I hope the appointment goes well next week.

@Tulipandmagnolia I hope you get your bins emptied tomorrow. Our council has smaller trucks too. They serve the narrower roads and tracks.

Thanks all. @Lougle when I emailed the HT, she said she has had sleepless nights about DS1.

@Lougle congratulations! Well done DD2.

No gosling left behind in the pub.

DD1's hydrotherapy session went well. She had a whale of a time. She insulted an older gent when they asked her to guess his age, which made everyone laugh. She had two physios working with her. She really engaged with the games they were playing, and she loved racing one of the physios across the pool with a pool noodle between her legs. She's sore tonight but I think that's par for the course.