to think mn has become very anti sn

[2shoes]

I have noticed it in the last few days, people getting a bashing.
nasty vile threads....

My son has to live in the world, increasingly without me at his side.
The more people that understand a little about the monotone voice,lack of comprehension of figurative language and jokes, need to have structure and an intolerance to rules being broken the better.
The more people who think 'I wonder why?' rather than 'Stone the fucking weirdo' the better. Or those who are afraid and leave him in his own space because different terrifies them.
So when I come across a person who wants to know because they are open-minded about something they haven't understood, it cheers me up. I feel that there is hope and the possibility of accommodation so that my lad will thrive as an adult in a less prejudiced and judgemental world.

2shoes, I don't think I said what I meant properly. I didn't mean 'please teach us' I meant 'I really hope you don't all run away to another board that is exclusive for SN people because your, normal, use of this board is educational for other people - without you even trying'.

And when I come on here (MN, rather than SN) I read loads of threads that have nothing to do with me, if the 'last hour' posts catch my attention - I just find people and their lives interesting - but usually I have nothing to add so don't post. (well sometimes I have nothing to add but I add it anyway).

And you lot are quite fierce! was quite sure someone was going to tell me I shouldn't be reading let alone posting here.

I have once posted before, something happened to come up about epilepsy, which I had been madly googling as was diagnosed with it about 5 years ago (thank goodness all controlled now) so had read something relevant and wanted to suggest it. But normally I wouldn't know anything that would help with any of the issues you face as parents of SN children and I wouldn't want to try to pretend I did.

KatyMac I know what you maen as although I know about dd's sn, I am a bit clueless about other types.

goblinchild I get you, but don't you sometimes just want to post just for you?

So if I have a child somewhere on the AS - I read to see how I can help

At the age I have them often the parent don't know yet

& I learn loads (mostly without commenting)

Now of course I am on a steep never-ending learning curve but I still read the ones that help my children, when I have time

'goblinchild I get you, but don't you sometimes just want to post just for you?'

Can you explain a bit more? I've ranted and raved in my own way on occasion, but I like the anonymity so that restricts the details.

2shoes, i post for myself or to try and help others on here, if it is helping someone else, who is interested in learning more about sn, i dont mind.

I dont want to teach anyone, but the likes of Soupdragon are not asking us to educate them, they are educating themselves by reading. Its the people who feel they are entitled to be educated at our expense, as if we owe them an explanation or justification that get on my nerves.

I agree 2shoes - I have no desire to educate, I know a lot about my child & his needs as all parents do. It feels voyeuristic having people lurking not to gain info to help themselves/their child but to 'be educated' - we're not a freak show existing only to entertain & inform the real, non-sn world. It's beyond patronising.

You don't need to be educated in sn not to be a twat just don't be a twat - really it isn't complicated.

[major problem with many of these threads is that there seems to be a high proportion of mn posters with very poor reading comprehension skills - that isn't exclusive to sn threads & perhaps that's an area they should focus on improving their 'education']

desertgirl it wasn't a dig honest,
tbh I think i miss the people who used to post on sn twiglet for instance, I used to like it when she posted, even though she had no knowledge of en.
to hopefully explain a bit better,
the other day I read a post a sn post, it was about a sn I know nothing about apart from second hand iynwim.
but part of her post sounded just likr my ds(nt) I wanted to post that, but was not in the right place at the time.
sometimes I think it helps if someone is lurking, reads a thread and thinks....
hang on 2shoes, your dd isn't doing that cos she has CP, but because she can/is a teen(add what you want)
imo sometimes we forget to look beyond the sn.
hope that makes some mad kid of sense

Goblinchild hopefully my other post will explain better what I mean.

You mean which part is the way his brain is wired and which is pain in the arse teenager?
yes, you make perfect sense.
When I call him on it, he dimples and gives a sideways grin that is adorable.
But I keep my cross and stern face on.

see sometimes I forget to look beyond dd's cp.
I forget the 15 yr old pain in the butt lovely teen part of her.

I just suppose that if a person outside sn asks a question, or gets stroppy about something that they've been involved in without understanding why, I like to explain.
If I just yell 'Sod off, we're not an episode of Big Brother, they are likely to think
'Well, fuck you and yours and the camel that you rode in on'
And we stomp off to our respective corners muttering and an opportunity has been lost.

the idea that it's only fine to post if you have personal experience of a certain type of SN is fine for those of you who have children with a very common type of SN

would leave me out in the cold though

not much point in posting if only people with actual experience can answer my posts - might as well just go into the bathroom and talk to the mirror

and btw my dcs do need me to spend time educating people, because they have to live in the NT world with no mediators and theirs is exactly the type of SN that gets dismissed as faking and lying because it is so little known

but it is all about how they ask.
if soemone asked me a polite question about something, I would explain.
for instance I had a rant about dd's VOCA, someone asked what a VOCA was, so I was happy to explain.
but having to put up with vile post/threads(like the restaurant one) because people are learning stuff.............no way

this is the reason I don't like it - if you are reading and not posting, not even the occasional wow you must be proud or ffs or god that's awful, take care - then it's all about you, you aren't giving anything back.

If you can't post a simple commiseration/congratulations when we're celebrating/suffering then what does that say about the way you view us? Are we a different species? Freak show? Cautionary tale? Train wreck?

'and btw my dcs do need me to spend time educating people, because they have to live in the NT world with no mediators and theirs is exactly the type of SN that gets dismissed as faking and lying'

I feel the same way cory, AS isn't rare at all, but my DS has no learning needs that go with it.
So when things go bad, or he needs specific accommodation for his needs some people are puzzled and often quite aggressive that he's being treated differently. Especially if he's more able in something than their own child, or appears to be coping until suddenly he's not.

cory, I can join in lots, but some stuff as simple as statements, I have no knowledge as dd's is done pretty much by her school.

phlebas - but half the time I am reading 'old' threads - should I comment on something 4 months or 2 yrs old?

& would my pithy comment seem condescending or inappropriate?

& if I didn't 'learn' in this way how are your children going to meet open receptive childminders/learning assistants etc?

phlebas I see that point, and it isn't the intention - any more than on other posts I look at (I don't specifically 'come on' to SN, I read threads that catch my eye, maybe for content, maybe because they relate to a poster I 'know' - and I didn't only mean SN threads, I meant all the others where SN ends up being mentioned, which is a lot); and I have felt that I somehow 'shouldn't' be posting on SN as NT parents don't seem to. No I don't think you (or anyone else) is a freak show or a train wreck; and I am sorry if it seems that way.

If I think 'oh god you poor thing that sounds absolutely appalling and the LA/SENCO/whoever should be shot' I am afraid that if I post that it would sound patronising or smug or something. Now I realise that not posting it might seem just as bad. will have to think about this!

phlebas..... what does that mean?

(by the way is it your dd who has the sight probs?)

oops sorry just seen it is someones name, so sorry my mn is so slow as ds has put wireless on

phleba thank god, someone gest it, that is what I am sort of saying.

If you were asking me 2shoes, then yes 17 weeks ago on Wednesday DD could see 17 weeks ago on Sunday she couldn't

But I'm learning to be the mum of a child with additional needs (never liked SN as a practitioner)

I am another one who wishes the lurkers/readers would post an occasional hello, or bad luck, or disbelief at how shit services can be, etc.

We don't bite (and I'm sorry you felt that we might, desertgirl - we cam be a fierce lot, but our wrath is usually reserved for crappy local authority provision, or frustration at yet another issue arising) and, certainly from my perspective, it would be nice to have some people shipping on, and maybe trying to remind us that the problem could be age, as 2shoes says, rather than SN

see I have followed that, and not posted, I should have, I am sorry.
but tbh I haven't been keen on mn lately and need to get my mn mojo back.hope she is doing ok, must be very hard for you all.