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Original poster

to think mn has become very anti sn

140 replies

2shoes · 23/06/2010 22:34

I have noticed it in the last few days, people getting a bashing.
nasty vile threads....

OP posts:
borderslass · 25/06/2010 14:14

I wasn't going to post on the bus thread but some of those posters made me so annoyed I had to, I know my ds isn't as bad as some of the kids are but he still can't be left alone in the house at almost 16.

Marne · 25/06/2010 14:42

I tend to stay on the SN threads, when i have been on the other threads/boards i end up getting bad comments from people who havn't got a clue what its like raising SN children.

howmanybrokenbones · 25/06/2010 16:09

Hi everyone

Sorry to comment so off topic but I am sure yesterday I saw a thread about a mum of a child with dyslexia. I remember getting her child out to school in the mornings (ie following instructions was really hard and that rang a bell with me!). Anyway I wanted to read/post on it and can't find it now. Would anyone be able to point me in the right direction?

Ta

wannaBe · 25/06/2010 16:10

tbh I think a lot of people like a good ruck and sn seems to be a fair target because most people aren't educated enough about sn to defend the subject inteligently enough to make a difference, iyswim.

wannaBe · 25/06/2010 16:10

that's not to say that there aren't prejudiced people out there as well mind.

ProzacTheGiggleFairy · 25/06/2010 16:21

I have given up on reading some of those threads, as I could feel the rage building.

As if we don't have bigger things to worry about, that others who have no idea what it's like to bring up s/n kids & then decide to insult people for asking questions or airing their view.

Original poster
2shoes · 25/06/2010 17:17

it is like banging your head against a brick wall, it is like people refuse to understand.

OP posts:
shimmerysilverglitter · 25/06/2010 17:55

They don't want to understand because those old prejudices still stand, unless someone has direct contact with SN people there is no reason for them to bother themselves to understand. It doesn't affect them so they just don't care.

All other prejudices are completely unacceptable on MN those with SN it is open season. It is absolutely disgusting.

desertgirl · 25/06/2010 18:12

I'm rather afraid I'm going to get shouted at for posting here when I don't have a SN child; but I do see the threads (usually look at MN via 'last hour' view so you see a bit of story) and I found I wanted to say something.

MN has actually been very educational for me in terms of SN; which is basically thanks to you lot. I wasn't completely unaware - I have a cousin about 10 years younger who will be in assisted living (not sure what you call it) all her life - but you do give a very different perspective, and maybe a glimpse into what a nightmare dealing with the services intended to support you can be.

I'm pretty sure I'm not unique in having my understanding improved, and part of that is through reading the threads which you are talking about. On the bus one, lots of people did change their mind once they realised what the OP meant. I know you think they should have realised earlier - but people do read things quickly, from their own vantage point etc; it isn't necessarily ill intended. And that (the change of mind, the increased understanding) has to be a good thing, doesn't it?

I'm not for a moment justifying the nasty posts (the restaurant one for example) but that poster seemed to me to be getting completely shot down in flames (unless things changed after I read the thread) - again, isn't that good? someone who maybe thought like that, reading the thread, could realise how out of order they were being?

It must be pretty horrible to feel the prejudices etc but please, if you can bear it, don't stop responding, don't retreat to boards which are just for SN parents, keep helping those of us who haven't 'had' to understand what it is like, to get a bit more of a clue.

Thanks all of you.

SoupDragon · 25/06/2010 18:13

I don't think MN as a whole had become anti SNs. There are more threads blatantly anti but I think that is due to a minority rather than MN as a whole.

Original poster
2shoes · 25/06/2010 19:04

there are lots of wonderful, supportive people on mn..
I agree that it is only a minority who are anti, but they do seem loud.
desertgirl nice post and I understand what you are saying.......... but
I don't come on here to educate, I come on here just like most people to chat, ask for advice, or give advice. I must admit to being tired of the idea that parents of dc's with sn have to educate.

OP posts:
ApocalypseCheese · 25/06/2010 19:05

Loudlass and everyone else, I will not surrender, I will stand myy ground !!

FFS, i'm surprised people havent demanded to know how many steps it is from my front door to the bus

Original poster
2shoes · 25/06/2010 19:10
Grin
OP posts:
SoupDragon · 25/06/2010 19:17

thing is, if you or rather someone doesn't educate, then we have absolutely no idea. I can see why you don't want the hassle but, TBH, simply keeping the SN topic visible on MN is enough education for me. I've learnt a lot. any education happens through Simply reading what you have to deal with etc is an education. enough that I felt perfectly confident in inviting DSs friend over for tea "even though" he is on the autistic spectrum.

other than a cousin with autism and a friend who's child is profoundly deaf, i have no real experience with SNs. MN has meant I have a better general understanding which has benefitted parents other than yourselves., even without you doing anything in particular other than vent

troublewithtalk · 25/06/2010 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rebl · 25/06/2010 19:30

After my encounter with a parent in RL yesterday I'm not surprised that people are saying these things on MN where they feel they can because they're not known in RL and so its more acceptable to speak your mind. There are some people in this world who are sick and so narrow minded and live in their own perfect little bubble that really they're not worth knowing. But unfortunatly we have to deal with them and grow thicker and thicker skin and just shrug it off. Wonder if the poster on the transport thread who was so anti-sn would have had the guts to say all those things in RL to the persons face? Bet not. Also wonder how perfect her dc really are and how kindly she'd take to people saying not such nice things to her about her choices and children.

Sorry for the rant but I'm in a foul mood thanks to something similar happening in rl to me yesterday.

SoupDragon · 25/06/2010 19:31

oh, I do understand. Without reading about your troubles on MN though, I wouldn't have a clue. That's one reason why I don't hide the SN topic. i rather suspect that a it of the people who are obnoxious about SNs do hide it and thus have no idea.

either that or they are simply obnoxious wankers.

desertgirl · 25/06/2010 19:36

what soupdragon said. really just wanted to you to know that the things you do say aren't all falling on deaf ears.

racmac · 25/06/2010 19:56

Please dont think that every poster is anti sn - mn has taught me a lot although i dont post on the threads about sn - i read and listen and learn.

It has opened my eyes and the people that are posting horrible things really shouldnt concern you

MABS · 25/06/2010 19:58

what wine at the Brighton meet ups eh 2shoes?! ;-)

claw3 · 25/06/2010 20:38

Soupdragon, its lovely to hear that you are educating yourself about sn's and not just asking for explanations and justifications when the need arises.

Original poster
2shoes · 25/06/2010 21:24

but I don#t want to teach people things....
sorry to hijack my own thread, but this idea of people reading sn to learn seems odd to me.
why read and not post?

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 25/06/2010 21:29

'but I don#t want to teach people things'

I do, I like teaching people who are interested enough to ask questions and wonder why. That's how you learn and deepen your understanding of any subject, especially if you have no first hand knowledge.
Change the world, one person at a time.
Bury the failures and grow pumpkins on the site.

Original poster
2shoes · 25/06/2010 21:34

but that isn't the main reason you post though? surely you post for your self, not so someone else "learns"(trying to understand here)

I have a problem in my head with this whole education thing, it is used so often on threads(not here people are being nice) we are always being told that we have to edcucate people, I don't know about ......(picks random topic) loosing a child, but i don't lurk on that topic/thread to learn, to me it seems wrong.

disclaimer, I am not having a pop at the nice non sn people who have posted on this threa, just trying to "learn"

OP posts:
KatyMac · 25/06/2010 21:35

2shoes

As a provider I read a lot & I sometimes posted

I can't 'talk' about the specific children I care for due to confidentiality so I read, reread and learn what I can

When I posted I asked for help

Now a parent to a child with a brand new SN - I read & I post slightly more; but I am still astounded at what I don't know and when I learn something I might get told 2 days later 'but only when there is a N in the month/or your LA is different'

But posting on other peoples issues when you know, not only do you not have a clue, but you can't suspect the reality either, seems insensitive and intrusive