nursery referral

[jenk1]

my nephew on dh,s side has speech difficulties,his mother who we dont get along with very well has told us that she has got him into a "special school", he is only 4 and due to start primary school in september,thing is she wont tell us how she got him in the school, and as we are after any information about special needs for our ds we think this is out of order really, she made a big song and dance about how her son has special needs etc etc and now that ds has been verbally dx-d with as wont speak to me or my dh!
my mil who doesnt speak to her daughter(strange family) says u cant get a referral from nursery, u have to let the child go to mainstream school and take it from there as thats what her friend had to do with her son,can someone give me advice on what to do as we think our ds is going to have difficulties with learning etc,

sorry meant to say as ds has been verbally dx-d with aspergers syndrome

Hi Jenk, my ds is 3.7 and also dx-ed with AS. We are going to give mainstream a try first, so I'm not entirely sure about how you get referred. Maybe try speaking to the head of the special school? Are the LEA's early years team involved with your ds at nursery?

Your SIL's silence is a bit weird, I've not come across someone who is competitive about their child's SN before!

beccaboo she is a complete and utter weirdo, she actually wants her kids to be ill, when my dd was diagnosed with eczema and asthma she rang me up and said"its not a big deal u know," her son had it when he was a baby -so she said when i asked her what inhalers he was on she didnt know what i was going on about, she had her 2nd ds referred to psychology cos she said he was having epileptic fits, the doctors said he was daydreaming! she phoned dh a few weeks ago and said "is michael better now has he got rid of AS"!, everytime my FIL is coming to visit she phones him and says either she or one of her kids are ill so he will go round there instead,she is so jealous of dd that when she finds out we r visiting our fil with her she goes and gets one of her friends or brothers babies and puts them on FIL.s knee and then goes out so he has to look after them and not pay any attention, and to cap it all when me and dh married,when we were announced into the room she stood up and started shouting about how she didnt like the seating arrangements and she walked out during the speeches, if u ask me its her that has SN and needs referring!

You MIL is wrong, you don't have to try m/s first although it does happen. You need to see your Child Development Centre AND speak to your LEA's SEN section, possibly apply for a Statement yourself or persuade a CDC professional to do it.