I'm tempted to post some hints for this SENCO...

[humblebum]

...here who wants some advice on how to deal with a 'difficult parent' and SALT who doesn't seem to know her place.

I'm sure some of the teachers/SENCOs used to think the same thing before DS was statemented!

givememoresleep I don't hate all teachers, in all reality, just the ones that have let my DD down and ruined her education.

Her current SenCo has told me that unless I have the money to pay for extra help on top of her being (hopefully) moved to SN school, for after she is 16yo, she will be unlikely to ever live independantly, and she has told me that in all honesty, when my DD leaves school, I will have a good case against the LEA for failing to provide my DD with a suitable education.

I am disabled myself, and therefore will NOT have any money to give DD any extra help. So she will probably never live independantly. . And all because a succession of teachers and my LEA failed her.

She is unable to tell the time (so will be unable to work as she would lose a job due to non-existant timekeeping), add money (therefore unable to cope with bills etc), so how will she ever cope alone? All because of the education system failing her and leaving her to drift for 7 years. THAT'S why I am so 'combative' when faced with some members of the teaching profession.

"It would make you weep. And yes I hate teachers - I know I shouldn't but I do. Sorry.'

Really WetAugust? All of us?
Or are you just rightly pissed off at all those involved with your Ds who have obstructed, ignored their responsibilities, passed the buck and then lost it.

I have been fighting both the LEA and my PCT, and latterly the DCFS and the NHS as a whole, to try to get my DD the help she needs since she was 6 months old in the case of the NHS, and 2.5 years old in the case of the LEA. Is it any wonder that I occasionally lose my temper when faced with some situations. Without any help, as the PP officers in my area are very transient, often only lasting 6 months and then we go over a year without one? And the fact that I am fighting a disability (uncontrolled epilepsy) and ill health (asthma and currently recovering from pneumonia) myself?

On that note, I am bowing out of this thread before I blow a gasket at the posts by Senco's on the TES website, as I fear I may make my own health worse!!

' Why wouldn't SN parents become 'pushy parents' or 'PITA parents' or someone the SenCo wants to 'get out of their hair' when the system is completely failing most SN dc's by putiing money above children's education, and obstructing parents who only want their children to acheive THEIR full potential.'

Well said Loudlass, sometimes collaboration works and sometimes you have to break out the grenade launcher.

Unless givememoresleep or goblinchild have taught in a particular school in NE Essex, then I'm quite sure that I don't personally hate them.

I have maybe lost a bit of respect for the teaching profession as a whole (which is a shame, as I was once going to train as a teacher myself, and am from a 'teaching' family, my nan has been a teacher for 30 years). But that doesn't extend to every member of it.

I just feel that teacher training should include a hell of a lot more training on SN/SEN and also if a teacher is going to have a child in their class with a particular set of difficulties, they should be sent on extra training. Even if that is every year to allow for all the different conditions that an MS teacher will come across due to (often) the closure of so many SN schools. It's tough if it costs the LEA money. They've 'saved' enough money by closing SN schools, and 'integration' (which IMHO, in most circumstances doesn't work as you can't possibly balance 30 different childrens needs at once), put some of it back into the system by giving MS teachers effective and useful SN training.

must admit ds previous teacher in ms had good intentions but they admitted at last review that they could not meet ds needs.

This is despite ds having a statement and me having lots of meetings before hand

A lot of this was down to lack of training , ie 4 hrs of makton for a dc that uses it all the time and is pretty fluent!!! .He was way ahead of teacher and lsa

But they did not take the salt advice on board about ds working small groups ie no more than 3 and not teaching him phonics yet he had lsa for 27 hrs and she was used for whole clas sinstead of ds and i do know this as on Friday i helped in school all day

Not even being told that ds was in nappues .

playground for reception thats on a slope so ds could only stay up one end and was in danger of being run over by the bikes/scooters

A lot comes down to training and lack of experiance

I think there is so much 'professional pride' warapped up in this as well. So, teachers don't want to say, I don't know how to teach a child like this, it would be great to hear from x professional.

I hear what you say about 'bed blocking' and shouting the loudest bigweehag but the trouble is:

(1) Teachers' priorities are their needs (even if this is unintentional) so passive children simply get ignored. If your child doesn't cause a fuss or bother, you will get NOWHERE unless you make a noise

(2) This wouldn't be the case if SENCOs and schools understood and applied the law properly. The only conclusion parents can draw is that they enforce LA policy - a relationship with your LA might be more important than one with a parent who is, after all, a PITA.

(3) It is abhorrent that a system relies on parents to police it so that those who less able to 'shout' effectively for their children don't get help. This is not the fault of parents

(4)There is NOTHING worse for parents than being told a load of old codswallop about SEN or statementing etc by a teacher because you have that sinking feeling ....oh no I'm going to have to argue this.....again ....and everyone is going to hate me. It's horrible.

My child was diagnosed with OCD by a Specialist CAMHS unit 70 miles away. They did a very comprehensive assessment and wrote a very detailed report which the sent to my daughters GP and to the local CAMHS, but we did not get a copy until several years later. The school nurse had several sessions with my daughter, I think the school nurse had great insight and a good rapport with my daughter. The school nurse suggested that the Educational social worker speak to us, the parents. The ESW offered Home Tuition. But no one referred my daughter to the SENCO. My Daughter was off school for a full year, and the school made no effort to set up a meeting.

Like Debs I also think there is professional pride wrapped up in this as well.

I was previously told by the Jr school senco that my son would not have got a Statement in y4 because his SATS results were "too good". Never mind the fact that he needed a hell of a lot of additional support and time from a Statement which was already in place to get these. There is no way on Gods green earth I would have asked her to apply for a Statement. She also forgot the emotional costs which are high to both parent and child.

I have also seen too many good passive children with additional needs get ignored.
In DS's school IEPs are handed out to parents via the childrens' bags without prior consultation with said parent.

I detest some aspects of the system - infact at Ds's y2 AR I fully let rip and had a go for not informing me properly about the transfer process between infants and juniors. I told them that I was fed up on being treated like a mushroom i.e kept in the dark. I received scant information from anyone whilst everyone else got information. I didn't even get a bloody class list (someone else kindly told me what class DS was in that Sept). I did get an apology of sorts from the Jr school at the time but it was not good enough then and it bloody well is not now.

I don't hate all teachers either by any means, my son's current teacher is absolutely bloody marvellous and spoke up for him strongly during the recent annual review. I only wish there were more like this particular person in the teaching profession because in my school teachers of this person's calibre and integrity (this person has not tried to pull the wool over my cynical eyes) are frankly a rarity.

WetAugust- I had similar experiences with Junior School, despite being the SENCo of the feeder school. They treated my DS as a PITA and one one occasion asked my DH if he was sure it was the place for DS because it was a school for "nice" children. I was so traumatised by the experience that I refused to go to meetings with them. So yes I do know what it is like to be on the receiving end of "bad" teachers, especially when the HT said to me that I wouldn't know what I was talking about because I was only an Infant teacher.
The knock on effect was that I became determined to better for the childen I taught,which to the best of my ability I did.
Soemone on here spoke about how important qualifications are. An Ofsted Inspector said to me that she thought it takes very special people to do Special Needs and do it properly.
Glad to say that DH now goes to a Secondary School where we have all been treated very well, with professionalism and compassion. DS was diagnosed with Aspergers aged 12 and Satemented age 13. I would also say though that it has been important to me to make sure I nurture the good relationship with the school and to make sure we thank them when we know they have put themselves out.
I can't say any of us have just "got over" the previous bad experience but we are trying to keep moving on.

Sorry, should have proof read last post. Please excuse typos I got carried away. It is of course DS who is at Secondary School.

It is really interesting to read what you say imahappycamper as I have the same implicit feeling from my son's school - i.e. this is a school for 'nice' children. He will say things like he wants to 'shoot' girls (because he is scared of them) and he chews everything and his teachers think he is rather unsavoury and have made no effort to connect with him. It was different last year because his teacher was lovely and down to earth.

I get the impression they will now go through the motions, tick the right boxes and might even apply for a statement, but their heart will never be in making sure he is encouraged to engage. Left alone, he's passive, dreamy and disconnected but he's averaging out academically so that's fine.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I have gone out of my way to be supportive, encouraging, I always write and praise and have brought in chocs and biscuits when anyone has done anything particularly nice.

It all makes NO difference once you start raising difficult questions though.

No you are right, it didn't make any difference at JS. It was only after DS left that lots of other situations happened which made us realise that it was the school not us.

That is sad....and what I fear in our case too.

GMS please don't leave, at times only your existence and my faith in your aprenting and J's dx has amde me feel anything other than a failing freak . I need you.

WA I think you went too dar: saying those you've met you dislike is one thing, all is quite another and unreasonable. I hoped to train as a teacher: wpould I have suddentyly have turned into a dragon the minute I did that (only childcares stopped me) no of course not.

You know the SENCO the boys have now does her utmost best

sadly this means she had to tell teh LEA that it wasn't even worth referring children who needed dyspraxia assessment theair way any more, and she just signposts to the Dyscovery Cnetre: all well and good but we don't have £1 - 2 K to throw at ds2 so sadly it means he gets nil.

Yet our LEa are pretty universally vaunted as wonderful: comparatively I suspect that is true, but it's still nowhere near good enough (and if anyone is jealous we have the SSD dept to make up for it I can assure you!)

There seems to be a mix of things- a total lack of information (I do think a traijing cert in SN should be compulsory for all practising teachers, and updated regularly)

• lots of older teachers still practising who haven't a clue because in their day kids like ds3 went to SNU and kids like ds1 were caned and expelled

• a lot of teachers who fight and fight for tehir SN students and get owrn down

• some rpetty evil ones: I was chatting to a friend I was at school with last night and mentioned some of the incidents I posted earlier- she told me of several more that I didn't even notice I was so used to being bullied by the dodgier ones.

-A genuine culture of LEA's expecting techers not to ask for money and a barrage of Ed Pychs eytc who are incredibly negative about providing help.

And yet even with all this there are still wonderful teachers doing their utmost. The ones at ds3's SNU are teachers. The one who used to give me ectra class work so I didn't get to do homework (no heating and over crowded home) without losing apce was a ateacher. The one that heard a rumour my Mum had injured me long before the days of abuse being big news and pulled the entire schol in to help (I refused a SSD referral, tehy wanted to) were all teachers. I am glad to them and they gave me the strength to want to show the rest where exactly to shoce their prejudice.

I would be able to tell you what the shortcomings of ds's SENCO is if she ever answered my request for a meeting. I have supplied the office with my home number, my work number and my email address. I call in once a week asking her to contact me. Do you think I should supply them with a carrier pigeon?

"shortcomings are" even

the curse of the keyboard

If there are still any SENCOs online, I wish you'd advise on what to do with a child whose problems are caused by physical disability.

Our LEA does not do statements for physical disabilities, only for learning difficulties. So because ds's problems with learning have a physical cause (can't keep up with note-taking or writing because of dodgy joints, finds it hard to concentrate because of pain etc), he is not entitled to a statement. Therefore we can't make the school provide support for him- unless we choose to sue under the Disability Discrimation Act, which means major upheaval. (this is the school that had a physically disabled child crawl on her hands and knees to get into the loo because the head wanted to keep the disabled toilet for visitors- but was actually quite good with children on the autistic spectrum from what I am told).

If he had behavioural problems or learning difficulties as such, he would get a statement. As it is, there doesn't seem much we can do if we don't want to get the big guns out. And I really could do without going to court.

Cory that's awful. We have a similar problem in that our son needs support in school for a medical condition which can be life-threatening, but the County do not provide any funding at all to meet his needs and those of children in a simliar situation unless parents fight through the Statement procedure.

""Our LEA does not do statements for physical disabilities, only for learning difficulties. ""

Really???

Have you ever attempted to apply for a Statement??

have you reported this illegal balnkey policy to IPSEA or the Dept for Ed??

Or is it anecdoctal? Like the "Nottingham don't do Statements" that we hear constantly - when a quick look at the Ofsted reports for Nottingham totally disputes that sweeping Statement.

Well, it is what I was told when I rang the LEA to enquire about how to apply for a statement. Do you mean they were lying to me? That's great, I'll happily report them. You don't happen to have any references to somewhere it says this is illegal? And where I should go to report them? That would be absolutely great.