arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[2shoes]

ggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

HUGS, really huge ones.

What's up 2shoes?

OH THE STUPIDY OF THE NT WORLD, WHere(sorry didn't mean to shout) where blue badges and disabled bays are so easy to get

you forgot the toilets which we apparently use to save us time on queing for

Pregnancy/obesity= disability FFS

Could these people be tested/scanned etc then terminated ? After all it's not really fair on them, forcing them to live a pitiful live is it?

Well, I wouldn't always jump to conclusions about who is using disabled loos. I sometimes use them with my two, if I can't take them together into an ordinary cubicle, because I can't let DD out of my sight if I have to take DS. If you saw me, you wouldn't know DD was disabled. In fact, I'm constantly waiting to be challenged. However, I do think it's crap to park in disabled spaces.

Yes...and I know you won't have overindulged last night

if having a nt child is soooooooo hard why do people do it?
they just seem to find the slightest thing impossible

True you would never know taht someone is disabled since lot are hiddne disablites so would never prejudge anyone that uses one .i know that someone with crones for example can not wait

But its the way that they are saying that they feel its there right snd mean ones that have no disbalites hidden or not

You know what, when ds wasn't disabled I used to think parenting an NT was soooooo difficult, - and I used the disabled loos illegally because I was sooo permenantly stressed by just trying to manage on a daily basis with him and a newborn as well as having severe pelvic floor issues. I felt guilty, but also I was trying to survive.

When he was just under 3, and my youngest was 1yr old, he was diagnosed with severe autism, which explains why I felt like such a crap incompetent, selfish, guilt-ridden parent.

There are some extremely selfish people in the world, but sometimes things can be a little more complex than it might seem.

You are right Starlight, I also felt like the world crappest parent until my dc were all dxed with autism one by one. Me and dh were only talking about it the other day. But that is also quite rare, and doesn't explain the ones who know their children are nt, and who themselves are nt and want to use facilities for themselves.
If I see the odd indivudual person using the disabled loo, I don't make any kind of negative judgement, because s/he could have an invisible disability, but when people openly say that they are using disabled loos without valid reason, then that is unreasonale.

Actually Riv i'dprobably rather wt myself than use a loo with the door ajar but that'sjust my AS hang ups in play I know (and fortuantely I have the bladder of an Ox to enable me to cope with it all).

I felt like the world'scrappest aprent tbh; becuase of low self esteem it was easiest to blamemyself. And now,with ds2 needing assessment for SEN,and DS4 showing behaviours I am beating myself up for having crap genetics- some of us just find ways toblame ourselves whatever. Flooding in India? Ah that's be the bit of carbon I produced driving to Asda, then.

If someone isPG and the NT loo is so small they can't fit then OK, I encountered that only once but yep it happened- I just couldn't move in there (a pub IIRC). Or if baby is very low and you will absolutely wee yourself if you don't get to toilet now, or throw up over someone (spot ther person who had HG 4 times!). I think you'd have to be pretty mean to wish that on someone. But pg as a rule doesn't equal a need for specialised resources in that way.

It's about applying common sense: disabled lifts and someone pg with a buggy or toddler who can't see their feet to walk safely and carry- abolutely, basic safety measure IMO. Car space or loo- why? Whats the purpose?

And whilst it does sound dismisive, I really do think on this one that if I can copewithout using badged parking on the matter of principle over need, then other people really do have no excuse.

I have no shame about using disabled parking with J and I have no shame about using the disabled toilets with him, for him to go to the toilet and for me to go to the toilet too if I need it. It's not about queue-jumping - I can never ever ever leave J unattended as he is so unpredictable. Even at school, he has to have full supervision in toilets. I would never go to the normal loos if I needed one and leave the door open as if J decided to run off to stim with the buttons/ locks/ taps in the loos (or went into meltdown at the sound of the hand-driers) , I would be forced to run after him with my pants round my ankles...no way. J looks extremely able-bodied, especially when running off into traffic and I'm getting tired of being challenged on the use of loos/ blue badge. It's a matter of basic safety for him - he is so fast, strong and potentially violent, with absolutely no sense of danger.

I didn't know about the SN world till I was in it and I don't expect others to either really. I mean, the bluebadge rules are so bizarre that some SN parents can't get their heads round them, so how can we expect parents of NT kids to? For example, I don't get why you can't get a badge, peachy, when some authorities allow them for children with 'behavioural problems' even without high rate mobility DLA (how J initially got his) and you should be getting high rate for DS1/3 anyway, if I remember rightly. Though you've just said it's principle over need - do you not need one anymore? It's a bizarre postcode lottery in terms of criteria for badge without HRM.

I agree that the selfish ones are annoying, but I don't think it needs to become a 'NT parents are all wusses and don't understand anything' us vs them type thing. I hate it when that happens.

People find their lives difficult as parenting is hard, and everyone looks to make it easier. It's not fair to say that parents of NT kids must have easy lives and never complain just because their kids don't have SN. OK, SN makes lives harder, but parents of NT kids can't be expected to compare their lives to others' lives before having a whinge! ALL of our lives are easier than someone in a poor foreign country in the middle of a civil war, but that doesn't mean we can't complain.

Having said that, selfish people who park in disabled spaces without needing to and use disabled loos without needing to clearly need a slap

Yes, it is all relative, isn't it?

To 'them' (and I don't mean that, just can't think of a better word ATM and excludes EVERYONE except the precious me, me, me types with an overinflated sense of entitlement) everything is sooooo hard, and they seem incapable of arranging a simple shopping trip without feeding and changing the child and having a wee before leaving.
The worst thing in the world is to have to queue for the loo.

For me its putting DS to bed at night and not knowing if he'll still be with us in the morning.

I'm glad they don't know how that feels, but wish people could develop a sense of perspective. The world doesn't revolve around anyone.
I still don't use disabled loos coz I can prepare the boy and myself for a trip to the shops, do the shopping (without numerous stops at Starbucks) and be home before either of us need changing .

'Though you've just said it's principle over need - do you not need one anymore? It's a bizarre postcode lottery in terms of criteria for badge without HRM'

BADLY need one for ds3 tbh,even the baby is leaving him behind now. But DLA refused the appeal so no.DS1- it depends on whetehr its a bad day or not,I know i'd be responsible enough not to use it unless I needed to (we ahd to go shoppinG Wednesday and that was V V bad, but sometimes he's OK). But the council has a no blue badhge unless physically disabled policy, I emailed and tried to speak to the counsllor (liveslocally) in charge but appreanlt it'snot up for debate.

By principle, I just meant that if i'm not out with a blue badge then I can't use it fulls top (black and whuite appraoch to rules? moi? ) becuase I can'tcriticise others who do if I do it myself, they can't know my circs.

DS3 gets ahrder all the time, Psych is considering whether to assess for ADHD as well now, but they played a good game when they gave us DLA until 16 becuase after initial appeal we'retooscared to take to tribunal and risk losing out.

having a moan helps though.
I have a foot on both camps, so can see it from both sides, but still think people make it hard for themselves.
oh and riven I use the toilet whist dd is using her slipper(i got slated for that once on a thread!) as we would still be in there whether I did or not iynwim(but wouldn't if dd wasn't with me)