Bit concerned about things at school and a question.

[PeachyTentativelyPosting]

We have a new Head at DS1's school, the last one was wonderful so am aware that am biased to begin with - but I don't think she is veryASD friendlt; whetehr through intention or not I have yet to discover. Things like major changes to the school day with no notice for the children, the tiny things that make or break MS for a child with ASD.

Anyway, the newsletter comes out today so whilst ds1 takes ages to find everyting I sit and read the news that aprents are now no longer allowed into the school to do drop off, becuase in her words 'they are now Juniors' (I found that a bit off but am over tired). DS1's 1-1 came out with some aids she has made him,and I said 'I take it ds1 is now exempt'she asked what from so I showed her the letter- 'Oh I didnt know about that,, what would I know, I only work here'

That reaction bothered me! It's the 1-1's that have kept us going in this school, and I particulalry like this one.

Whether or nto DS1 is exempt (She'll leyt me know tomorrow) I will continue in the routine regardless, she may not have been about to remember the days when I would get bitten dragging him in, but I can recall all too well! If she says no I will call an emergency review and get in sattement, it won't cost the LEA as much as a transfer so they should be on side LOL.

The question is linked to that- with the old Head we had an agreement that ds1 could always be just a few minutes late so as to avoid the morning rush. Does this still stand or can she cancel it? It was never in his staement, but agreed at a big post-crisis meeting.

The Head isnt available to chat: afaik (not that I would recognise her) she has yet to leave her office and is not available for meetings yet. My perception so far is not positive- things like making aprents evening so they only go to 5.30 and if you can't get there (I can't always, childcare for the boys) you don't get (used to be 7).... also an aborted attempt she made to change all the inset days several months after being given them as she 'was not happy with them'- too many parents had booked hols already and complained but the note admitting defeat sounded less than happy about it.

Any thoughts?

Amback tothis namefor a trial, see if it's OK

Doesn't sound great, but you won't be the only person sceptical. If the head doesn't have the respect of the staff then they will probably just go underground with all the little stuff like your ds starting late.

Give her time. Some of her new projects will disolve into nothing. She's probably trying to make her mark and will soon be too buried under paperwork to interfere in things that are working okayish. If you think she hasn't got to the desired paperwork level quickly enough you can always add to it.

Well it is from tomorrow- my guess is that several aprents won't be happy. Hopefully I can let them have the flack.

At least I know i'm not being U about the tone of the letter- DH picked it up and was quite amazed!. Could be a fun term.....

Some teachers are just crap, aren't they. DD had a lovely one last year and the one this year acts as if she doesn't really want DD in her class. Refused to speak to DD's ed psych saying "Well, I can't do anything, I'm not a doctor"!
I'm dreading DD starting primary school next year because we're just supposed to drop them off at the gate - I'm going to have to arrange some means of taking her in myself. Currently hoping that she will be allowed to repeat her current year (but hopefully with another teacher!!). Fortunately quite common in France to repeat a year.

Is the agreement re. coming in a few minutes later in his IEP? Maybe it should be. Also no doubt there will be something written down about how they prepare him for change and how they manage any change.

Sounds to me as though the new HT has not given this any thought at all and clearly they should have done. So you have to wonder how SEN-minded she it. I would have expected the 1:1 to raise it with the HT, when the new regime was announced.

No way are 1:1's in any position to raise things with HTs. Not round here they're not anyway. They're lucky if they've even MET the HT.

What kind of dictatorship are you under? Am not so naive that I don't realise that the HT is the boss but really, that sounds no way to run a school. The TA's are surely the school 'experts' as far as their 1:1's are concerned?

The kind of dictatorship that says I can't attend preschool sessions when an Autism Advisory Teacher attends and sit in on their meeting with the staff.

If I didn't know better I'd swear you had our old Head at your school.

Short-term I'd be tempted to carry on as you are. If she's still holed up in her office and not communicating with staff then chances are she wouldn't know anyway.

Was the previous agreement ever written down anywhere? Even if not then I would imagine something like this would come under the DDA. The school's health and safety policy should also have something in it about making adjustments for children and visitors with SN.

If she's already backed down about the change to inset days then there is at least some hope that she is willing to listen. My guess is that she will soon find out that not all her ideas for the school will turn out to be achievable.

Good luck.

Thanks all.

It'snot such a dictatorship here- the only reason I haven't met the autism advisors is becuase at the first meeting baby was ill,and then ds1 was refferd elsewhere and you can't be seen by both services. As one of the teachers is dad to a fellow pupil of ds1, no odubt I could get acess if I needed LOL.

The 1-1's her4e to mix, at elast they did under the old Head who was very team orientated. Not sure about this one- someof the 1-1's have been there for 20 years though, so she'd have to be a fool not to use their expertise!

I don't think anything ahs been written on and IEP nd it is generally thought that ds1 doesn't react abdly to change- whereas he does, but saves it for us. After a few good weeks, Wednesday saw me locking ds3 in the bathroom for safety with myself and the baby (DH and ds2 had popped out), and my garden is now trashed. I think I really need to find a way to hammer it home how badly affected he can be by change. He's gone in today hlaf in meltdown (with a warning in link book for 1-1) so I know a big explosion is approaching, I think school gets comlpacenet in between them TBH, and of course Head has yet to witness it. Once seen never forgotten though.

Just a few Mums in playground today- luckily I had forgotten thatb today ds4 goes to cm for respite and she has an infant drop off so is allowed to be there, on Monday will have DH. As Dh says- there may be a teacher supervisng as promised in the mornings but its a 3 part playground so you can't see all palces at once, and are they going to take responsibility when ds1 notices and really hurts someone? Think not. So I follow the Paeds instructions and do not allow him out of tehs ight of an adult. Full stop.

Tis textbook definition of a reasonable adjustment - if she gives you grief over it, put it to her that she'd probably prefer usual arrangement to angry parents anyway!

Am interested about the school's view that DS does not react badly to change. Am not autism expert but this is a very common trait- seems to be there for every child I've ever encountered. Is this a view shared by the experts or is just a view amongst the staff at the school?

LOL I'm having the exact opposite problem with my ds. School think he can't handle change. I know it doesn't bother him in the slightest (although to be fair it does confuse him).

Well I have this with school also- they say he can't handle change, I say he's very adaptable, when the change is something that he likes, it's only when it isn't that there are problems. To my mind that's not ASD

Nope. It isn't. However, my ds IS severely autistic.