Possible ASD son, anyone with experience want to talk to me? Kind of struggling here.

[harrisonnnn]

I have namechanged for this, although not really sure why. I guess incase anyone in RL knows my usual posting name.

I think my son is on the Autistic spectrum.

Today at 11am I was asked to come and collect him from school as they couldn't cope with him anymore and the headteacher thought the teacerh needed a break from him

I am gutted and at my witt's end. I do not know what to do or how to handle this. I had a long talk with him this morning before school where he promised me he would try his hardest and earn some stamps on his reward chart but obviously he didn't even try.

I could just do with some support and advice really, and similar experiences so I know I am not alone.

Mostly, what strategies aftually work for helping them conform and behave better in school?

Any advice appreciated.

Claw your DS does sound very similar to mine. He has always been silently defiant. As a baby and toddler he was ridiculously easy really.

He will silently protest against things, sulk rather than shout and scream etc.

Obsessed with Lego but has never been interested in puzzles funnily enough, he just doesn't 'get' them I don't think, although when he did the block test as part of an assesment the assesor said he did very well on them and was above average in that aea, doing them quickly.

Over - Aha cannot or will not is the million dollar question!

He seems to have a very good memory in certain aspects, like remembering a,b,c. But he has no concept of the the past or yesterday. He has trouble recalling events that have happened earlier in the day or the day before.

He has great difficulty remembering names and what things are called for example he will describe people rather than referring to them by name. Now i think he has trouble remember their names because he pays far too much attention to details and patterns hence why he describes them and its a good example of him not seeing 'the bigger picture'.

That's a very useful link claw thank you.

It is long though, he doesn't tick att eh points in any one section though, It would be interesting to se what his teacher thinks with regard to how he is at school as opposed to at home.

That is interesting claw, sounds like your DS is definately noticing the details more than the bigger picture, not a bad thing really, it is a good skill to have!

My ds has difficulty when people ask him "what did you do yesterday? or "what did you do last weekend/on you holiday?" but I always get the feeling it's more to do with the fact that is is an ambiguous question, he did a lot yesterday, at the weekend/on holiday and he's unsure which bit of it he is meant to respond with, the answer isn't obvious so he doesn't say anything unless he is prompted with more information.

Like the question "what did you do in school tdoay?" get's me no-where, but a specific question like "what was one of the books you read?" or "what was one of the things the teacher did in sciendce?" will get an answer.

Harrison - My 2 older boys are exactly the same, what did you do in school day.....i cant remember! what did you have for lunch.........i cant remember! and they are 15 and 13 and dont have a disorder

In amongst the disorder is a certain amount of normal 5.5 year old behaviour too and it sometimes hard sorting out which is which.

Yes, paying attention to details is an advantage when working out a math problem etc, but socially not so good. Still we cant all be good at everything

My ds doesnt tick all the boxes, but when reading that checklist, i really did get the 'you are describing my son' feeling. Im assuming you didnt get the same feeling, still at least you can tick another one off of your disorders he is not suffering from!

I'm recognising my boy in some of your descriptions Harrison. He is 12 and has a diagnosis of aspergers/hfa
The reference to lego made me giggle (ds is obsessed !)

you need to look at the symptoms again and really think about what he does at home.it sounds to me that he displays symptoms at home but seems you dont actually notice as its normal daily life for you. but you wont get a referal unless your ds displays symptoms in more than one setting. think carefully. you may need to point out specific things ds does that fits with aspergers before they will except it. i recommend a book HOW TO LIVE WITH AUTISM AND AND ASPERGER SYNDROME by chris williams and barry wright.
it gives examples of behaviours an tips on how to deal with these behaviours. the authors have wrote some of the questionaires that ive been given by CAMHS [as part of assessment process]hope this helps

I have read a bit more carefully since my first post (I was in a hurry going off on holiday).

I found with my son that the health authorities were more helpful and caring than any one connected with education. Educational psychologists were there only to prove bad parenting. Doctor, CAMHs looked at my child and listened to me and my husband who sometimes came for support. I cannot fault the doctors we saw although it took time to get a correct diagnosis they were all supportive. i agree with previous poster that it is sensible to write down a list of behaviours at home to preent to Dr. I think not babbling is significant for example. With a 1st born it is not always easy to know what is average(my 1st born was speaking at 10 months so expected autistic son to be doing same - took him to GP who laughed!)

I believe that schools just wanted to ignore the problems until he left for another school for them sort out issues. My son said that it was hard for the teachers because he was fine in some subjects (those termed "more structured" ie well organised) and not in others. On subject of friends regretably these children from my experiene have fewerfriends as they go through school. As my son says he didn't blame the other children but they knew he "wasn't quite right and pick on the weakest". He adds that at secondary school (which probably seems a long way off - he knew the other boys like him because they just wandered around by themselves) I think you may find that your son is being provoked by "friends" who enjoy seeing him react.

About birthday presents. We hate suprises so use a list. When I (or my son) open a present I know it is something on my list (and can usually guess what is in the package). No suprise I am happy and giver is happy.

Disipline must come from you and home. I think as my son listened only to me and his father. He did not care what others thought about him.Easier said than done. We always told him off for his bad behaviour and sent him to his room (which was less of a punishment but other siblings needed to see him "punished"). i tried to be flexible about things that were really distresing (I let him sleep with the light on for example)but other things like making him eat something differnet insisted upon. some things I think you may be able to modify his behaviour at home but realistically at school it is for the teacher to cope with.

Lastly there will be a parents partnership in your area to support parents with SEN children. They are brilliant(came across them too late for my son - SENCO was supposed to inform me but suprise suprise did not bother). Look on the direct gov web site SEN page.