Not sure what support to ask for.

[anonandlikeit]

We have never had any form of respite or support from agencies or SS, but we are finding it increasingly difficult to do anything as a family.

DS1 is 9 & NT & pretty easy to please but because ds2 is so hard to please we are finding it increasingly hard to do things together with ds1.
It ends up with one of us staying home with ds2 while the other takes ds1 out somewhere.

Its not really like we need a break from ds2, he is so passive but so very ahrd to get moving, hates leaving the house etc, its a battle to get him dressed especially at the weekend.

I hate the thought of leaving ds2 with somebody else but I really think that DS1 could do with some time when he sees both dh & I together.

Idealy I would love to find a way that all 4 of us could enjoy a day out together but we seem to be a bit stuck.

Has anybody got some bright ideas please.

Babysitter?
Family member?
Friend?

ds2 will settle with my parents but whilst they are willing, they are both getting older (dad is 80) & find it hard.
We have to leave ds2 in tears if we leave him with my parents but at least I know he settles eventually.

There just isn't anybody else.

I think it would take a while to get him used to somebody else, it would have to be regular frequent contact for him to be OK with it.
There just isn't anybody else.

He did go to an sn playscheme in the summer holidays, he tolerated it OK, but didn't want to go & was mute & refused to eat when we got him home.
Anyone would think we were torturing him rather that trying to find him something nice to do.

He would be happiest at home in his own little world but we just can't live like that.

Repeating myself there, sorry!

Anon, but all kids have to get used to other folk.If you get him used to someone other than family, it will be such a useful lesson.

The hassle and meither of fighting for respite will probably mean it is easier to ssort yourself.
Are there any obvious risks?

You are right moondog, just don't have anyone else to ask, even if i find a willing volunteer i'm not sure they will tolerate the tears & upset while he gets used to them.

I'm happy to grin & bare it not sure about anyone else.

I suppose i could put an advert in the local paper, We are in a very small town so not a huge population to choose from.

Just wish we could find something the 4 of us could do together but i'm a bit lacking on inspiration at the moment.