Meltdowns in older children - do they get more difficult to control or just unacceptable?

[magso]

Ds (9 - SLD/ASD) had a generous sn holiday club allocation this year, but he has been sent home after loosing it over a toy he did not want to share. I have been seriously ill and had thought ds worse behaviour was due to my lowered energy and vigilance IYKWIM.
I do not know what to do and feel upset and worried. I am disapointed that sn trained staff could not anticipate and handle his meltdown and am worried that they will consider him too big a risk to try again. I hope that a boring few days at home without tv will get through to him but I suspect it will only help when he is fully in control of himself.
Do meltdowns get worse or is it more that they are similar but the child is bigger and therefor it looks more dramatic!

I am shocked that SN staff could not cope with a toy fight. I think you need to explain your situation to them and let them know that you have done everything you possibly can and ask for an assurance that he will be allowed back.

I am afraid ds ( a large child)tried to kick a member of staff who tried to restrain him from chasing the other child away. Other staff had to help and he knocked things over in his panic. I have seen this type of meltdown too and it is getting harder and harder for me to control too although frankly I think he does have some control even in his darkest momments.
I suspect that he will behave better now he knows he will be sent home if he looses control again ( home is boring for him). They have said they will let him in on his last day because they can give him 1:1 if required and there is no trip out. He has lost the trip days as they consider his behaviour without 1:1 potentially hazardous. I will just have to read the riot act to him before he goes!
I wondered about a written passport a what to do if ds does x sort of thing.

what about talkig to inclusion team about providing 1-1

I am due a first visit from the sn childrens team so will discuss it. Frankly we need some respite and the sn club runs a sat club (one sat a month) so I was so hoping! I have wondered about the child physc as well -who so kindly wrote to ensure we got some sessions this year.