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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

freaking out here, hope someone can help...

69 replies

leelee39 · 23/05/2005 16:30

Hi,

Not sure if anyone remembers me. I have posted here several times and you've all been SOOOO helpful! I tend to get neurotic about ds's development (he's now 25 months) periodically. Usually, he outgrows whatever it is. I have had him evaluated. No one (so far) has been concerned about him

He is very verbal. He's social, engaged, etc. He feeds himself, plays appropriately with toys. Nice pretend play too.

There are 2 things that are getting me freaked out. He's starting to talk in more and more little sentences (instead of 2 or 3 word phrases), which I know is good. However, he is reversing the pronouns I and you, occasionally saying "you want juice? please" when he means "i want juice," or "pick you up" instead of "pick me up." I have read that this is a sign.

Should I be concerned? How common is this at 2? And WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT? I've been correcting him gently, a little. And now sometimes hes ays "I want like "I want mommy." He also says "I got a boo-boo"

But mostly it's you. "You did it!" It's like he says what he expects me to say to him sometimes.

He is responsive to questions, etc., unless he's really super invovled with something and then he might ignore me for a moment. But for the most part he answers and doesn't just repeat. He makes his needs known, describes things, etc. Just freaked about the pronouns.

ALSO, PLEASE HELP ME ON THIS ONE. Ds has known his colors, shapes, letters and #s since about 18 months. But all of a sudden, he seems to have forgotten most letters. He's mixing them up. I'll say waht's this and he'll tell me the wrong thing. It's like he used to know them but he forgot or something. I am panicked that he lost this skill. He does seem to be focusing more and throwing and catching and hand-oriented things. And I do see some improvements (minor ones) in this area. But how does a kid just FORGET something they've known really well for a really long time? I AM REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THIS ONE.

I know it doesn't matter if a 2 year old knows his letters. But how could he used to know them and now forget them?

Should I be worried? Any advice?

Also, ds just got glasses for farsightedness, so I am wondering if the letter thing could be related to a visual thing? But that would be strange because he is recognizing everything else it seems so far. It's just the letters....

He looked at a B today and I said what's that and he said "G." B and G look nothing alike and he used to know this stuff like the back of his hand. He would call out random letters he saw places.....

OP posts:
Blossomhill · 23/05/2005 16:34

leelee - think this would be better posted on behaviour/development as it doesn't sound to me as though your ds has any special needs!

Nemo1977 · 23/05/2005 16:35

Lee maybe thread would be better under behaviour and development as ur son sounds advnaced not like he has any issues

Nemo1977 · 23/05/2005 16:35

crossed posts BH

Mum2girls · 23/05/2005 16:37

Blimey - your son sounds very advanced! My 4 and a half yo doesn't know ALL her letters.

I'm struggling to see why you would be worried frankly.

Twiglett · 23/05/2005 16:39

Yes your thread would definitely be better under behaviour and development and I think you have totally hit the nail on the head when you say "I tend to get neurotic about ds's development (he's now 25 months) periodically. Usually, he outgrows whatever it is. I have had him evaluated"

Everything you have described is totally normal toddler development that is outlined in SO Many childcare books I am surprised you are not aware of it - stuff like the seeming to forget one skill when they learn another

I must say I am far more worried about YOU than your son - it really sounds like you are making yourself miserable and when he's grown up you are totally going to regret your neurotic tendencies that stopped you enjoying these years.

Can you maybe find someone to talk to about these ungrounded fears. I am not being mean here, but I think that could help you and your DS in the long-term

Blu · 23/05/2005 16:41

leelee - the development of his speech - and other behaviour - sounds 100% normal.
Pronouns are v difficult for them to get right for a while. Just continue to speak in 'correct usage' back to him, don't try to correect what he says.

I wonder why you are so concerned and anxious when there is clearly nothing unusual at all?

edodgy · 23/05/2005 16:45

i think it was totally inappropriate to post something like this under special needs. I agree with twiglett your ds sounds fine i have a 25 month old dd and havent even thought about teaching her letters yet so she doesnt know any. I think maybe you should back off with the hot housing a little and just let him go at his own pace.

shimmy21 · 23/05/2005 16:45

Just a thought - I know my ds learnt quite a few things (like letters / numbers) when little and was delighted with himself but after a while the novelty wore off and asking him to recite them would just result in him saying 'can't remember' because he frankly wasn't so interested any more. Could the novelty value have worn off for your ds?
Other things my ds learnt and genuinely did forget because a couple of months is a very long time in a toddler's brain development. If something isn't being reinforced every day it tends to go. Personally I don't advocate doing any reinforcing though...

Please stop worrying about his development and enjoy him instead!

insensitive · 23/05/2005 16:49

Lee,lee - considering some of the struggles that us parents on the sn board face I find this post insulting. Please think carefully before posting something like this on here as I for one have found it upsetting. If you took the time to read some of the posts on here you would see the real struggles and problems that go day to day with having a special needs child.

ruthiemum · 23/05/2005 16:52

I don't have a SN child but my child is 29 months and he is no-where near as advanced as your child seems to be - he has only just started saying his first few words never mind colours and I am not worried about this at all. Children pace themselves and you cannot do this for them, all you can do is encourage them. I honestly think you have nothing to worry about.

binkie · 23/05/2005 17:10

leelee, are these really your only concerns about your ds? Do you know lots of other children of a similar age, and - if so - does your ds seem just like them, apart from the things that you've noted? Because if they are your only concerns, then I agree with others, no alarm bells.

BUT if you and ds know/interact with lots of other children of a similar age and you still have persistent niggling something is off feelings, then your concerns may be justified - but in perhaps too subtle a way to get a grip on in a forum like this. I'd just suggest you keep in regular contact with the people in real life who've assessed him already.

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 17:16

wqell i am not "insensitive" but this was exactly what i was talking about and of which I got jumped on about on another sn thread

leelee, he is fine btw and if he wasnt it would be so subtle i wouldnt even notice

Jimjams · 23/05/2005 17:21

can I just point out that I'm not "insensitive" either as i was jumped on in the same thread as fio2 for being an uncaring cow (moo).

Sometimes early signs can be subtle (ds1's were) but you have to look at the child as a whole. Ds2 wasn't even talking at your son's age but I knew he was fine as I looked at him in the round and his non-verbal communication was excellent. The best way to get an idea is to mix with other children his age- you soon get a feeling for if your child is decidely different from others. Really no point getting wound up over "checklist" items. You'll only make yourself miserable.

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 17:22

mooooooooooo love how we both come and defend ourselves jimjams (it will be davros next )

Davros · 23/05/2005 17:39

moo moo moo!

I am also concerned about leelee and why she is feeling so worried to the extent of spoiling this time with her son and bothering to see professionals. It is true that subtle signs can be submerged under much "normal" behaviour and a mother's feeling about her child can turn out to be well founded. But this child sounds rather accomplished, my DD (26 mos) is nowhere near any of this.

It is a shame to be harsh on someone who may be upset but I feel that it is harsh on many of us with big, big problems to just offload all this here. In fact its very insensitive and before anyone says but that is not how it is intended, then please remember that those of us here regularly also deserve sensitivity but it doesn't seem acceptable to say so.

To be honest I'm finding it hard to believe this is a genuine thread but I am the cow of all cows!
At least she posted here and didn't just CAT someone who she'd never had contact with before, unlike some others in the past (hence the Old Cow thread in the first place).

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 17:43

well I was neurotic alot of the time and it was well founded

so leelee, i am sure you wont take this to heart no-one wants to see you orf

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 17:44

oh yes daaaavroooos, where is your denial??? eh eh eh mrs 'insensitive'

Jimjams · 23/05/2005 18:00

moooo moooo moooo

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 18:03

well i am the bluuuuuuue cow blue blue cow

come on davros, defend yourself

misdee · 23/05/2005 18:04

mooooooooo moooooooo

leelee your ds sounds fine to me. hope that helps put your mind at rest.

Davros · 23/05/2005 18:06

What do you mean Fio? You want me to give the "drains up" on the Old Cow thread?

Fio2 · 23/05/2005 18:09

eh? eh?

I want you to deny you are 'insensitive'

as i am under the illusion or be it dislusion that you never change you name and if you never deny it, you will have people thinking it is you forever...the whole of the internet, which lets face it is full of weirdos

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Blossomhill · 23/05/2005 18:12

Okay, I admit it, I am insensitive

Scuttles off rather sharply.........

misdee · 23/05/2005 18:14

BH lol. you didnt keep that up for long did you!

Davros · 23/05/2005 18:15

Oh blimey! I am too insensitive to have remembered the poster Insensitive after I'd read through!! BH has outed herself and now I have read back what she said I agree!

What bothers me is the total lack of interest in this area at any other time and therefore having no idea (or care) about our situations. We have quite a few non-SN MNers who post here regularly which is great, so it can be done, it doesn't just have to be when you want something.