DS2 had his first paed appointment today

[Widemouthfrog]

Some of you may know that DS1 already has an ASD diagnosis- he was diagnosed once he started school at 5.

DS2 age 3 has been for assessment today, and I don't know how to feel. The paed says he is
at the level of a 4.5 year old with his motor skills, yet his ability to draw is behind (he just sribbles). She feel his language is delayed but only by around 6 months. She was very focussed on the regression in his social skills over the last 12 months. My concerns were around his hyperactivity, aggressiveness and impulsivity - I feel he may be ADHD, yet the paed seems to be exclusively focussed on the ASD traits.

He is going to be observed in the CDC but not until next year! In the meatime we sit and wait, with a follow up in 6 months.

I'm feeling so numb. I've been through this with one child I never dreamed 12 months ago that I would be starting this all over again.

Any advice very welcome.

Hi widemouthfrog

Sorry you have helped me lots in the past so didnt want to read and run.

I wish I knew what to say, apart from its crap. Sometimes it helps for someone just to agree. I sometimes think ds2 has many of Alfies traits I suppose only time will tell.

What are his social skills like? Is he in your face or not socialable at all?

Hi Alfiemama,

His social skills are deteriorating. A year ago he was a real show off - in everyones face but very confident. Now he will not look at or speak to anyone he doesn't know well. He ignores his peer group and doesn't like large groups of children at all. His play skills are also disappearing.

He has just started preschool and is terrified. His first words every day are 'I'm not going to preschool' .

DS1 never lost skills, which is why I really thought DS2 was 'in the clear' so to speak. This has crept up on us.

On a positive note, we are now on the radar.

Ah I'm sorry WMF its so hard on you, to have to go through this again.

I always found with Afie and still do. He communicates better with younger children or a lot older. Never his peer group.

I'm also sorry that you have to wait, like you said at least you have spotted the signs and can keep a close eye on things for when he starts school.

6 monthsafter ds1's DX we were back again with ds3; 6 montsh after his final dx we were called in by school and told ds3 ahs SEN, probably adhd and dyspraxia though we dispute the adhd.

It's like a big kick in the stomach and all I can do issat hang on in there.

R=Every 3 yrear old boy I ever met hastraits of adhdso things could change

Thanks for the words of support, Peachy and Alfiemama. I feel better today. DS2 is in preschool this morning, and they are really keen to listen and support, which helps.

ADHD scares me more than Aspergers - I understand the autistic traits. But as you say, plenty of 3 yr olds have ADHD traits so this may be a temporary issue.

When its tough, I have to remind myself that this is not DS2s fault, and I find I can be more patient with the behaviour. At least this is not a new journey, so I know how to deal with the 'system' this time