After-school activities for NT LOs...

[r3dh3d]

OK, at present, DD2 (3, NT) is at nursery and just does ballet on a Weds. But it's at 3:30 and DD1's school bus gets home at 3:30. So I have to leave the house at 2, drive to DD1's school for 2:30, pick her up, drive back to DD2's nursery for 3, pick her up, drive to ballet for 3:15, try to find a disabled parking space , haul DD1 into the buggy, drag DD1 and DD2 to the ballet hall, change DD2 into ballet kit in the loos (leaving DD1 to squeak outside), punt DD2 through the door - late - and then wheel DD1 round the countryside aimlessly for 1/2 hour to entertain her, then pick DD2 up, back in the car, back to DD2's nursery, drop DD2, drive DD1 back home, half hour in front of telly while I prep tea, then back in the car, drive to pick DD2 up again, then all back home for tea at 6:30.

So... am a bit concerned, I guess, at the prospect of DD2 going to school and more activities etc. Or even [shudder] play dates which (obviously) we've not seen a lot of so far! . It seems to be a choice between dragging DD1 all round the country for (literally) hours in order for DD2 to do a 1/2 hour activity. Or, DD2 missing out on the stuff her friends are doing.

Thorts? How does it pan out in your house.

I think we all do way too much after school with kids nowadays. I had a very happy childhood and honestly can't remember going to any after school clubs, or at least not till I was old enough to get home myself after them. What's wrong with kids mooching about the house after a long day of school and finding their own entertainment. I think sometimes, just sometimes, mum's needs have to come first and it sounds like a major operation for you and DD1 to do after school stuff! I do the ones which are easy for me to accommodate given DS's autism - and I am also lucky that my dear Dad and mum will sit with DS when I have to run and collect DD from her only 2 after school activities. Some of my pals though are chauffering kids every single afternoon to something, plus Saturday mornings. It is madness imho!

Erm...we keep all "after school" stuff to a Saturday morning, and it's the SN one who does pony club. Next year the NT one will do baby gym and that's at the same time so DH will take him while I take DD to pony club (or vice versa) . However, DD has three after school appts that I currently have to drag DS to...I think in a couple of years' time when he's at school full-time I'll have to find a baby sitter to take him down the park after school so that he doesn't always have to be dragged along. However, I think it's always like this with more than one child - SN or no!
Also, 3.30 seems a daft time to be starting. You can't be the only person with an older one at school!!

It is complicated, isn't it?

DS2 wants to do rugby but ds1 and ds3 already do the SN team, ds2 doing the NT t4eam would mean me standing in the cold (season Sept - April) ona very exposed field for 2.5 hours every week, often with all the boys- I simply can't face it . He (ds2) did got o choir as he's a great singer but it's 99% female and he felt too much of an outsider.

He was on the waiting list for cubs /scouts but we never got the call despite having chatted to elader for ages and others bypassing the list, probably becuase of ds1's reputation with many existent cubs.

It's a PITA to balance

its a hard one, but I ask is it just too much hassle for me.
Am I going to exhaust myself for half hour of extras for ds1(nt).
You ahve to look after yourself, I learnt the hard way that burning yourself out & trying to do it all helps nobody least of all your dc.

DS1 does do after school stuff,(football & golf) but the times have to be do-able.
Any weekend matches he doesn't do unless someone is available to look after ds1

So in your circumstances dd2 would not do ballet at that time, because you simply can't be in 2 places at once. Is there a ballet lesson that starts after dd1 is dropped off??

As for after school play dates with mates, ds1 can bring anyone home wth him to play & their parents can either pick them up or they wait until dh gets home from work & then we can drive them home.

DS does moan sometimes but I don't think its anything to do with restrictions due to ds2's sn, I think he is just a moany nt 9 yr old.

Why bother going back to nursery? That would save you 2 journeys.

I'd think VERY hard about dropping ballet.
OR taking DD2 out of nursery for whole of teh afternoon, so pick up DD2 1st, then DD1 and have a bit more breathing space between 2.30 and 3.30 and not have to get DD2 back to nursery afterwards.

Your DD2 is 3 , she won't fail to become a wonderful dancer because she didn't "do" ballet class at 3. Your having to take her out of nursery which presumably you are paying for. Once she's little older there will be more choice of class times and she will learn the dance stuff quicker being a little older and more co-ordinated. She can still prance about to angelina ballerina and wear her ballet frock at home...

I've stopped taking my lad to ballet as he couldn't concentrate for the length of the class and was often too tired after preschool to want to go. He still bounces around the house " doing ballet" and is now enjoying a sports session on a different ( non preschool) day.
Once they are at school we will just have to make choices all over again, can they cope with X after a day at school, can I get them to X with out spending a fortune/ driving self mad. Do they ACTUALLY like X. Could they do Y instead its cheaper/ easier/ better timed.

I remember dropping dance class for dd1 because of dd2 and the parking thing - other mums parking in the blue badge spaces (obviously thinking no disabled person is going to come to ballet!!!!)

Now I have a fabulous circle of friends without whom none of my kids would be able to do any activities. In return I have their kids over on a regular basis to run wild in our woods. At the end of the summer hols I give them all a picnic party.

Saturdays so one of us can have ds1, the other one can sort ds2 and ds3 - unless someone offers to do the transport during the week.

For a while ds2 went to an after school music club with a friend- taken and dropped off by a friend's Mum. VERY kind of her, but she offered and said it was no problem. I would give her cups of coffee afterwards. That's finished now, but ds2 was invited along to a different after school activity by the same friend. That's working well as well. My friend is pleased as it means her son is keener to go and obviously it makes it much easier for us as dropping him off/picking up with ds1 in tow would be an utter nightmare.

DS2 and ds3 also do quite a few extra curricular activities at school - which makes life very easy. Those options increase as they get older.