Potty training ASD child when will accidents stop?

[mysonben]

DS2 who is now 3y and 7 m has been potty/toilet trained for 5 months now. We started potty training last year early July and for the few weeks it was going great. Then we went to france on holidays for a couple of weeks and on our return home it all went pear shaped, ds2 started to have lots of accidents and suddendly refused to poo in the potty or the toilet, he just kept going in his pants or on the floor, this went on for months and i was pulling my hair out (didn't know about ASD back then although had suspicions that all was not right) still ds2 was nearly 3 and all the other kids of his age were already clean apparently! I feel so bad about how we used to shout and get angry with ds for not being clean, i even spanked him a couple of times because i lost it thinking he was doing it on purpose ; now that we know about the ASD i think he learned it pretty quickly considering.
The trouble is he still has regular accidents and doesn't always ask or go by himself to the loo, or he will ask but insists on his routine with the stairgates , the doors ,...and by then it's too late , or he will start holding his parts and run around the table ,if no one notice on time then ...accident!
How long will this last??? Any tips?
Thanks.

Bump

is it just poos he has accidents with? ds1 will not sit on the potty and holds his poo until he has a nappy on at bed or nap time but people keep telling me its common. dont have any tips sorry

It's both, but more often 'wee accidents'. I get the feeling he knows the works of toilet training , as he can go for days with no accidents , but at the same time it's like he forgets the steps to take ie: fist ask for potty instead of running round the table aimlessly, or stuff like he needs to put his cars down before going upstairs and shouldn't fiddle with the stairgates because then he can't make it on time to the loo,... truely it's almost as if he forgets what to do. Mind Boggling!!!

ds1 is starting to use pecs so he will have a card he can pick up when he needs to go. but he has his potty downstairs so he goes without asking. what about some special wipes left on the stairs so ds has to carry them and not fiddle with things.

Well we took a looong time - so I am speaking as someone with years of cleaning up and feeling a hopeless toilet trainer!!! The only thing I can say is do not have a timetable of expectations in your head! I found it easier to have no expectations or more specially very small ones like celebrating the little successes !Little by little! Praise ( or other positive enforcement) for each little step.
Asking for the toilet is a huge step. It might be your son is jiggling but not fully aware of his toilet needs ds at- 9 still has trouble with awareness. Recently I asked him why he held himself/ jiggled instead of going to the toilet- he said if I do this( hold himself) I stop needing a wee! It was a shock to realise he did not understand he still needeto go! We used pictures (cartoon like drawing of a full bladder red cheeked and crying) / an empty smileing bladder saying ahh to explain!
I think my son was unbothered about using the toilet correctly because he has little social awareness. Fortunatley he developed a dislike of being wet!

Thanks for your tips and advice.
I will give it a go with the special wipes to carry up the stairs, because frankly he does look so anxious when i try to rush him upstairs while he's insisting on taking his fave toys (to place them in a row on the cistern) plus fiddling with the gates at the same time!
I think he still has some trouble with awareness, plus his routine for going upstairs and settling down on the loo just takes too long he can't hold it in for long enough.
He is the same at nursery, but worse because he's not allowed the toys in the loo so he hold on to them while crying instead of going to the toilet.

until you do chelation or anti virals such as valtrex it probably will continue to be a sensory issue with faeces
please have a look at autism recoveryvideos.org
and treatingautism.co.uk

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