Justabout, the practical solutions seem fairly good but may I explain a little more?
on 1) I've already had a couple of people suggest that they might be able to wave at me to alert me, which is very very kind of them. The "I'm feeling a bit down" thing probably won't work,though, as my common sense and danger-awareness is appalling, so I'm normally the last person to know whether I'm able to handle something. The big triggers are very consistent for me, though, so it's not that I'd want to avoid people ranting about their lives ever.
on 2) I have an Accompanier in real life to whom I can talk in absolute confidence. She's a really lovely lady who knows just about everything possible about my ASD and how I respond, and is there to help guide me. But again it's a paid service because I'm not clergy, so every time there's something I can't handle because of the disability, I have to pay to get the help for myself . I so wish we didn't have this as a system for our children, I really do. But that's what's ahead of them. That or just staying in their houses and never risking anything.
- By the time I've panicked, there is no way for me to remember to post up any notes of use to other people. Same principle as if you'd just put your hand on a burning surface and were about to withdraw your hand, scream and run. You wouldn't be able to take the time to write others a note about it first. I can't either. It hurts as much as that kind of "putting your hand on the stove" thing, and my reaction is that automatic. If it were under my control to that extent, it wouldn't be a disability, it'd just be a difference. Difficult, isn't it.
on 4) I'm not sure about emotional needs, but I do think we need to find a way to handle disability needs. I'm very hopeful that we can find solutions that can reasonably allow everyone (note the word everyone) enough space to be able to use the service for their needs. Mumsnet can create any amount of different spaces for people - they do new message boards for other things, so it can't be impossible to create a safer one and a controversial one if they so wished and decided, flagged up as such.
And people can find their way to the SN board, so I'm sure it's no more difficult to find their way if it was subdivided a little in some way that suits everyone (note the word everyone).
Elsewhere, one of the longest running and biggest boards has three types of board - safe, debating, and hell. And so if you park up in the safe bit and someone starts a controversial debate, it gets booted to the debate bit. If it gets into personal exchanges, off it goes to hell. It works incredibly well. People love it. They can rant in the hell bit, or chill out in the safe bit, or have a robust debate in the debating bit.