Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

My apologies and departure

83 replies

amber32002 · 09/05/2009 06:32

I am so sorry that I have hurt people on here. It was never my intention.

I'm afraid I've discovered I have no way to explain things properly, and that when I try, it hurts people. I wish with all my heart sometimes that I wasn't on the autism spectrum so I didn't put my size 99 feet in things by trying to give too much information, which I think is helpful, but which turns out to be totally insulting

I don't want that for any of you.

Please take care of yourselves - I'll miss you all.

love
Amber

OP posts:
cyberseraphim · 09/05/2009 09:58

I think most of us find that no matter what explanation we give, lots of people don't agree/are confused. Reaching a consensus sometimes is just not possible but that's just life not something directed at you or anyone. I only wanted to ask more questions as I don't know much about DDA and I know law needs a lot of interpretation/clarification. I personally would love to leave esp. as I'm returning to work soon but this site is like mental velcro !

2shoes · 09/05/2009 10:00

amber plaes don't go
we all have problems on here at some time

Davros · 09/05/2009 10:05

You have not hurt or upset anyone afaik.
But it is quite common for people to get embroiled in discussions and take a break, people do it all the time. It is up to you if you choose to do that but don't do it because you think you have hurt or upset other people, you haven't, do it if you think it is best for you. If you want to stay then stay.

vintagevavavoom · 09/05/2009 10:15

hmmm as i say im all new to this but i dont think the way to help amber is to suggest she goes away for a few weeks that is just going to make her feel even more isolated and upset just say were all here for you and leave it at that stop going back and forth about it

Flamesparrow · 09/05/2009 10:15

NO!

I have only read your OP but you can't go.

I was only telling my mum yesterday how much help you have been to me. You have been able to give me a perspective many times that I would have never seen alone.

You don't speak for all of the spectrum, you speak as you, and you are amazing.

TotalChaos · 09/05/2009 10:44

vintagevavavoom - I don't think the suggestion that Amber takes a break is made with anything other than the best intentions.

Amber you are clearly becoming more and more distressed -and often the best way of calming down about forum controversies is to take a complete break for a little while. I imagine that because of how your AS and life experiences of bullying affect her, you finds it particularly hard to calm down and distract herself by posting on different topics; and also to resist the compulsion to try and make it all better by explaining and posting to try and resolve it. I would be only too happy for you to carry on posting this very morning etc; but I sense that emotionally you may not feel up to it.

Robespierre - people on the autistic spectrum may find it far far easier to write on a website/e-mail than to have a conversation. Communication is about far more than language content - there are the simple social aspects such as turn taking/eye contact (or at least looking in the right direction if eye contact is too difficult)/being able to initiate conversation)being able to respond at the correct point. So just because someone can post eloquently on a website doesn't mean they can speak fluently and without anxiety in real life.

daisy5678 · 09/05/2009 10:58

If it helps, I certainly don't hate you, not at all, and I'm sad (albeit) frustrated that my posts are upsetting you. They're not intended to. I'm trying to explain, as logically and unemotively as I can, my point of view because I am trying to help you to understand it.

I have expressed no desire for you to leave. I have said on numerous occasions that your posts have helped other people and I would not ever seek to limit something or someone who does that.

You aren't hurting me. The situation is upsetting and frustrating me, but that's not all about you.

HelensMelons · 09/05/2009 11:15

Amber

You have so much going on at the moment. DH has been very ill recently and that must have been extremely frightening. You have probably both required a period of adjustment to what happened and I guess you both must be exhausted dealing with this.

Parallet to this you have lost your dog - a lifeline I think you described (her?). To speak plainly, a very significant, loss for you.

And as if that isn't enough, DS is doing exams. He is stressed out and you have a thread about this because he has been treated unfairly.

... And on top of all that, you have also been busy mnetting on a thread that you felt passionate about. It is an emotive thread.

However, at a time when you feel 'close to the edge' perhaps this board is exactly where you need to be, to get support. So that we can help and support you too. It is important to remember that, I think.

Amber, your posts have been insightful and invaluable to me not only in how I am with DS2 but also with those I work with on the spectrum and I really hope that you change your mind.

I sincerely hope that none of this sounds patronising, I really don't mean it to.

StarlightMcKenzie · 09/05/2009 13:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

StarlightMcKenzie · 09/05/2009 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

alfiemama · 09/05/2009 13:31

Crikey, I haven't got a clue what's going on here. I just wanted to say though, you have given me more insight and help with my ds, than any professional could.

I think we have all been guilty of saying things that we hadn't thought through. I know I did when I first ventured onto the sn boards, who remembers that awful poem [blush, blush].

You have every right to be on this sn board than anyone else. Take a break, restock and then come back to open arms.

todays news is yesterdays chip paper.

alfiemama · 09/05/2009 13:36

Ooh I didnt mean THAT POEM

StarlightMcKenzie · 09/05/2009 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Nyrrem · 09/05/2009 13:42

Amber,

I'm so sad that you are thinking of leaving. I check out your posts most days as you give me insight into my ds.

Nyrrem

reducedfatkettlechip · 09/05/2009 13:54

Oh Amber

Maybe give yourself a couple of days off here and see how you feel then. It would be really sad for you to leave under these circumstances, especially as I think you're being so very hard on yourself.

I've said it on other threads, but you are really such a helpful, caring and insightful poster, I can't imagine anyone would wish you to go.

coppertop · 09/05/2009 14:04

Amber

I hope you decide to stay as I know you've said before about how the SN bard has been a useful place for you. Good luck with whatever you decided to do. xxx

coppertop · 09/05/2009 14:05

SN bard? Not more poems!

SN board

macwoozy · 09/05/2009 14:31

Amber I do hope you change your mind and do decide to stay. I don't believe you've upset anyone on here, although I'm aware that's how you're seeing it right now. You've offered some truly insightful info about ASD, and I'm always interested to hear what you've got to say.

bullet123 · 09/05/2009 14:43

I hope you don't leave, Amber.

Deeeja · 09/05/2009 15:34

Amber, pleas don't leave!

Marne · 09/05/2009 17:22

Don't leave Amber, a lot of us come on here to ask you for advice, a number of times you have helped me to understand why dd does the things she does, you have helped me to see AS in a different light. I know you have to do whats best for you and if that means taking a break then thats what you need to do but please don't leave for good.

monstermansmum · 09/05/2009 17:43

dont go Amber-I enjoy reading your posts and even tho' my ds is not ASD, you have given alot of insight into ASD and I know my dh has benefited from reading your posts (he works with ASD children). please stay.

TallulahToo · 09/05/2009 18:07

A - PLEASE do stay.

We all really are both comforted and informed by your posts. You give us all a huge insight into the lives, and sometimes hope for the futures, of our DCs. I would hope that we are not unsupportive of you too.

I always favour & tend to use the direct (and short cut), approach - This is a quality that I greatly admire in others.

MN would be a sad place without your input.

PLEASE STAY!

TinySocks · 09/05/2009 18:13

amber, are you still around?

You wrote: "I'm afraid I've discovered I have no way to explain things properly"

Not true. You are extremely good with words, crystal clear. People have differences of opinion, people get offended by some things that others simply don't, we are all different. I, for example, do agree with the point of view that givemesleep put forward in her posts in other threads, but that doesn't mean that I don't understand you and that I think you should leave.

You are a much much loved mumsnetter. Thoughtful, intelligent, articulate and a good person. This forum has given you support and you have given heaps of support back. If you still need this support please don't leave.

jenk1 · 09/05/2009 18:22

Hello Amber

im sorry you are upset,ive been there before on here,thought id really upset a couple of posters and had a sleepless night because of something i posted.

dont leave, i think you are quite upset now and perhaps a couple of days break will do you good and give you enough time to work through things in your head,nobody wants you to leave Amber,im AS like you and i have read a lot of your posts and thought wow thats me i do that but i could never explain my AS as articulately as you do.

if you want a chat i can give you my email,i dont have CAT but if you want to CAT me id like that, but please dont leave.

jen
xx