AIBU to be sick and tired of the attitude on mn

[2shoesformyvalentine]

first we had the super race thread.
we have to put up with countless P&T debates which always end up with some idiot saying they object to disabled bays.
now 3 threads about how nt people should be able to use disabled toilets.
add in all the crap we take in rl...
I am so

Why should I not agree with Fio? Her opinion happens to be the same as mine. That is allowed, just as you're allowed to disagree with me. This is just a debate, an expression of opinion - nothing more, nothing less. Unless I'm missing something?

FWIW, I don't use disabled loos, and have had a real go at several people who have misused them, so I don't think we're disagreeing on that one.

As for campaigning very little would have been achieved by any minority group without it. Thoroughly recommend the film 'Milk' if you want to be moved by the power of campaigning - although I recognise at the end of a tough day working/ caring there's very little energy left to do it.

And 2shoes - I am truly sorry if the vile comments are getting you down - I am not completely impervious to them myself.

but the campaingning has been done...we have disabled toilets.
the people who now want them are parents with babies, so why do sn parents have to campain.

sorry just not getting it, not being argumentive, but don't understand.

In reponse to previous comments about my post.

You will see that in my first post I acknowledged that some disabled people have urgency issues.

And yes, I am an SLT. And yes I have worked with disabled people. This does not mean I automatically agree with everything their parents and carers believe. I am entitled to a personal opinion without that leading to emoticons.

You know, I've been on MN for four years and I've often contributed to SN threads as a professional. I'd like to think there are occasions when I've been able to help (well, I know this to be true as I've had messages to say so).

Just recently the SN board is not a place I feel comfortable. It feels aggressive and nasty at times. It makes me feel uneasy and I decided a couple of weeks ago that I won't post as a professional anymore.

What happened to this board? Is it exclusively for people who share the same opinions and for professionals who agree with everything a parent of a SN child says? Or is it a place for open and honest debate/discussion/advice?

A few s of my own, I reckon.

Um I agree with Fio too. I'm not sure what's wrong with saying that. No need for

mogwai, I think there is a rift now between the main board and SN. And you're right it's a shame.

nope none

I am part of the main board,I was here 7 years ago long before main board and SN were in any way distinct

Iamnot only SN I amnot the same as allposters I amme and I post what I believe

I won't change that becuase so and so thinks X or perhaps Is hould agree with Y

If I want that shit i'll get a job thanks

there'sno consensus of agreement: i'mmoreliberalthan many,some are very strict,if there happens to be an agreement then its coincidental.

Mogwai oure as welcome as anyone;SLY gives you neither preferentialnor lesser status. You click or you unclick the SN tick: you read or ont read,up to you.

severalposters have left mn sn bord in the last few weeks,posters who contributed loads and needed supports sometimes so dont give me any Nt peoplefeelbullied shite coz clearly the SN lots aent feeling exactly happy and chipper either atm.

I think SN is a board for parents of children with SN to seek advice, whinge and moan, or just seek a shoulder to cry on.

While there is a place for professional input here, I don't think it should be assumed that we as parents want it every time we post on here. I think it is fairly safe to assume if we want professional input, we will ask for it.

IMHO.

Very well said mum22boys. I couldn't think of how to word it, couldn't have done better myself.

The Sn board has been a godsend for me the past few weeks. I've never noticed ANY nastiness at all.

2shoes - people campaign because they want a change. Whatever it is, they do it because they feel that they can make a difference by speaking up. Parents with children with SN are the minority group, therefore it's down to us to campaign - most (note: not all) parents with NT children wouldn't give disability needs a second thought - not because they are horrible, thoughtless people, but because it simply doesn't touch their lives. If we don't speak up it never will. Of course, my need to campaign could be linked to the fact that I am a sensible shoe wearing, tree hugging Guardianista...

Think what could be achieved if we spent less time on t'interweb and more time campaigning - we could achieve world domination .

On that note, I'm off to finish a bottle of valentine's fizz with my dh - yay! Maybe I'm a champagne socialist .

I think given 2shoes' recent bereavement she deserves to be cut a massive swathe of slack at the moment.

anyhoo - going back to fio's point - I do and I don't agree - in that I do think that it doesn't look good to other MNetterrs to be having threads about threads - but I think it has happened on here from time to time, isn't anything new, after some of the more controversial threads on disability issues. and sometimes - like the "burdens" thread - it cheers people up.

in terms of Mrs. Turnip's point - I suppose that since MN is now mahoosive, compared to the 5 years since I started posting - that people are now more likely to form friendships within limited groups, rather than across the board - a bit like what happens in a huge workplace really - I know that by and large I feel more connected to the SN board posters than other posters these days.

You'lfindsalck (thats not a nice abbreviation is it? sorry) that a lot of us do campaign

I aminvolved with allsorts, ASD related and not, Riven does loads... but you cant always just add in another cause, really you cannot. Not and do it properly anyway. I used to be a fundraiser by profession nd really if you spread yourself toothink its not good for you.

I think 2 shoes has gone from SN. Felt hounded off.

Good point TC.

I'm sorry if 2shoes has left.

I never said that people don't campaign - I was just answering 2shoes's comment:

'but the campaingning has been done...we have disabled toilets.
the people who now want them are parents with babies, so why do sn parents have to campain.

sorry just not getting it, not being argumentive, but don't understand.'

Time for me to get back to RL too.

Youre right about site size too even on Sn

I just had a flick through: in the old days I knew enough about most SN posters to be really able to ehlp, most of us did. I don't now.

I used to keep an eye open for all threads, I can't do that now- I have toleave some I knowI could help withand that's a shame

MN will evolve and find its own way again- it did last time. How many of usstick aroundwill be seen; I have ssuspicions many will abandon the ship.

MN wont suffer but it will change and it wont be the old everyone knows everyone site from days of yore.

Hmm TC I think it has changed though. I have disagreed on countless occasions with mogwai for example (under another name- tonight might actually be the first time I have agreed with her ) but I think there is a rift now between main board and SN, which is why so many of the threads on the main board go pear shaped. A lot of the conversations are fairly pointless. Any sort of reasoned argument gets met with the accusation that you're just being PC .

I've been posting here for almost five years, and in that time most of the 'originals' that I remember have left the SN board. Sad but true.

i'mnot in a rift,i still have lots of friends around the board

thing sare going pearshaped because they do,from time to time. its been going on since Moldiegate >
and it'll sort itself out

Lots have left but lots of people get what htey need and moce on- whether from MN or SN or whatever. get jobs or even a RL. I was on here less and less until dx number 2, then it all starts again.

slack did you have a differnt name before then?

even I didnt start out as Peachy - first post very different name indeed.

slackrunner - I wonder though if there's a natural lifespan though to posting on a board such as this - that within a few years hopefully a DX and schooling will be relatively sorted, so one will be less in need of advice and have built up more of a real life support network?? and of course as peachy says, people get jobs so have less time/incentive to post.

mrsturnip - I suppose MN has become more contentious and more polarised as it has increased in size.

I did indeed post under a different name , however slackrunner suits me better as I am slack, and that runs to being slack about running.

I do think that there is a natural cycle to these boards. I still have no dx for my dd, but I am in a faaarrrr better place than when she was first born. There have been crappy moments along the way, like her developing epilepsy at the end of last year, but I don't feel the need for the same support as I did when I was experiencing that initial very raw grief. And yep, I have a job , so between being a F/T worky person and a mum there's not much time for being a regular poster here.

At the end of the day this board is great, but it can't be everything to everyone all of the time, unfortunately.

I agree with Slackrunner about the way that people use the SN board changing. I don't post on here as much as I used to but that's because of feeling a little more settled rather than because of any rifts or rows. I don't start many threads because atm I just don't have many questions, although that may change in the future. (I've jinxed it now! )

I think that the general MN threads don't necessarily reflect the opinions of the majority. You tend to remember the more offensive comments rather than all the nice friendly ones. It's probably why you get some people who have posted on here for years who get forgotten about along the way while everyone remembers the name of the trolls who only posted for a few days or weeks.

I can't keep up with all your name changes though.

I think a board like this will constantly evolve as new people join and others leave. Nobody should feel hounded off, everyone has something valuable to contribute and deserves to be listened to. That said, I don't think it's wrong to challenge someone if you disagree with what they're saying, I don't hold any grudges against people who've clashed with me on MN, just accept that their viewpoint is different.

I agree with TotalChaos that there is probably a natural lifespan. I started posting lots when I started having major concerns about ds, now things are calmer there I tend to post differently. The help I've received from this site has been essential. I really hope nobody leaves.