AIBU to be sick and tired of the attitude on mn

[2shoesformyvalentine]

first we had the super race thread.
we have to put up with countless P&T debates which always end up with some idiot saying they object to disabled bays.
now 3 threads about how nt people should be able to use disabled toilets.
add in all the crap we take in rl...
I am so

It wasn't sarcasm Mogwai just a link because really there was a lot of upset and I dont want it all dragged up again.

I was very genuinely trying to avoid a repeat of last night where people ended up in tears. nothing more.

"Is it not acceptable for a disabled perosn to wait for a loo like everyone else? Is this not just part of experiencing everyday life?"

Except more disabled people are likely to suffer incontinence problems. Couple this with the fact that they are going to take an awful lot longer to get onto the seat once inside the cubicle, and you can see why queuing might be more of a problem for them.

I agree cory; in the case of my dd who is doubly incontinent waiting for the loo might men waiting with a full dirty nappy - which you wouldn't expect any other four year old to do.

I am also inclined to agree with Fio - these debates do need to be out in the open, and people do need the opportunity to pass comment, either way. It doesn't mean we have to agree with them. We certainly haven't come as far as we have in the past 30 years with disability rights by shutting ourselves away where no-one can see us and no-one can hear us.

Feel proud Mogwai for supporting disabled people by ensuring they can wait for the toilet just like you have to.

but if as you say the debates need to be out in the open.....
why is it then wrong for me to start a debate about how it annoys me???

Because this topic isn't easily viewed is it? Lots of MNers, newbies in particular, will be unaware of its existence. If you want to say it - say it in 'Chat' IMO.

mogwai - I doubt you did anything wrong in your specific circumstances. Waiting can be a problem for many with disabilities though. It is for my son (severely autistic) but tbh if the disabled loo is occupied I just take him into the ladies (which upsets some as he is old now, but I'm not going to let him smash his head against the wall for nice-ities).

I will post where I like thanks

I see your point slackrunner - and I myself am guilty of running back to SN when the rest of MN just got too much for me. But isn't that ok sometimes?

Why should we always be the brave ones soldiering on, up against the world? Sometimes I feel like fighting the good fight and sometimes I just don't and I need support and like minds instead.

mogwai, I thought being a SALT you must work with disabled children?!!! Surely you must know that are many conditions/disabilities where the bladder and bowel are compromised for a variety of reasons, plus it is impossible to fit child/adult plus carer in the loo! I have had a situation - it's on the AIBU thread - where my son was doubly incontinent because a non-disabled parent and child were in the disabled loo.

For what it's worth, sometimes I have to use the accessible loo. Depends on my ability to cope with the sensory nightmare of the big public ones thanks to the ASD, or whether my arthritis is bad enough that I think the extra handles to help me get up might be useful. But people might perceive that I'm 'not disabled' because there's no way to tell at first glance that I have that degree of problem.

amaber surely you have a valid reason for using a disabled toilet, same as people with incontinece issues(which imo includes pregnant women) not all disabilities come with a wheelchair, and not all are visible, I only object to people using them (or expecting to) as it makes their life easier.
it would make my life easier to park my W.A.V in a P&T bay but I wouldn't.
as for posting in here............well check the thread in chat, where someone has made a comment
"There were some (only some) bizarre and selfish opinions expressed on the original thread, and on other threads recently on similar topics. And there are clearly parents on here who have an incredibly challenging time dealing with not only the actual problems their kids face but with other people's attitudes - but one or two of them seem to wander onto threads having nothing to do with the topic and drop their disabled child in, apparently as though to say 'you have nothing to complain about'. Maybe it does feel like that, but people's problems are real to them even if not of the magnitude of yours - your other kids aren't going to feel less hurt at being excluded from a party just because your SN child is excluded all the time; similarly other mothers can feel hurt about their child being excluded, surely? It isn't a competition as to who is worse off?"

kind of explains why talking on the main board about sn is becoming a bit of a no no.
how odd that 2 threads have been started 9one a thread about a thread) yet, i get told off foir starting this one.

2shoesI think its fine to postwhat you did here, honestly

thedeabteis being held elsewhere- its not closed. But we can learn and support ourselves in here too and it is open anyway.

We learn from each other and we need to share and just unload too.

unless your name is 2shoes

No even if your name is 2shoes!

You start a lot of good thoughtful posts; dont let this last few dyas stop that, iy's been a horrioble few days on MN and I would put a baet on a PFB Mummy post-book-launch influx myself. It's happened bbefore- remember the time Mothercare advertised MN and the Hun brigae joined?

2 shoes, as peachy says, the other convo is sill open, is it not best to make your thoughts known there? Saying that you're sick of the attitude on MN on what is almost a hidden board just seems...

You do do a lot for this board 2shoes, so I'm sorry that you're feeling down about it, and MN as a whole. However making sweeping statements about the MN population on this board probably doesn't help our cause - that's the point I was wanting to make. But hey, that's my opinion, and I'll post it where I want to .

so Popel can start 2 threads about the same subject......but I can't
They can post where they like, I can't.
ffs I am getting a bit pissed of now.seems that I am going to be told this where ever I post. on chat I get the "dropping the sn in" bit or commpetive postive, so I come on here to let off steam and get told of for that.
so fuck it

That's not what I said slackrunner

I said the other conversation is open for people who wish to hold that initialdebate

This isn;t the same: it's really about feeling marginalised within sn (correct me if I amwrong 2shoes?) and as its the way several of usa re feeling extremely valid of discussion I think.

If you read a fewposts down I amde it quite clear that i think 2shoes has the right to post it and as I count 2shoes as a valued if not RL friend I'd not want words used against me.

this board is not alomst hidden. it still has the opt in, out option.
(peachy I had read your post and know that you did not have a dig)

Sorry for misquoting you peachy, that wasn't my intention at all.

I was actually agreeing with Fio ( at least I think I was - sorry if I'm misquoting you Fio), and just offering my opinion. That's all. 2shoes asked AIBU, fwiw no I don't think that she is BU, but I just think to make a sweeping statement about everyone on MN having the same attitude may be a little unreasonable.

I haven't read all of the disabled loo threads - I will have a read when I have the time. However, if we feel strongly about disabled loos being for disabled people maybe we'd be better writing to our MPs, or joining the Mencap Changing Places campaign than wasting our lives away on here arguing with people who really don't give a toss as to which loos they use.

And on that note I'm off to write my note - it'll be the second suck e-mail I've sent this week .

Just for the record - ths is the statement that I agreed with.

'I feel really uncomfortable that the SN section is increasingly being used to discuss the rest of MN like this.'

such rather than suck - although they could be one and the same.

Welldopne forcampaigning slack but I just dont have the energy any more; have ongoing school transfer,ongoing DLA stuff.... X 2 of course.... I just don'tsee why the poeple who want accessible toilets can'tcamaign for their own.Disabled peoplegot the opnes they got,why can'tparenting groups take on the next stage?

Of course i'd sign a petition or whatever, but i've toomany mini battles totake on any more. I think a lot of us do.

oh I love the I agree with fio stuff

off course all of the people on mn are not the same.I have had some wonderful support on here over the last few weeks. but sadly there does seem to be a lot of people who make some pretty awful comments about sn. sadly they are the ones that get remembered.
as for campaigning, why should we, we have diasabled toilets.
surely it is up to the people who "misuse" them to campaign for their own stuff.
I have a 17 year old nt son, and I can honestly say I have NEVER taken him in a disabled toilet...
oops we did open one and have a look once when we first got the radar key