Should we send DS to footie practice?

[Cosmo74]

Our DS really wants to go to football practice but hubby is afraid to take him because of his behaviour and how the coach will deal with it. He is 5 and in primary 1 at MS school. We are still waiting on getting him assessed, his teacher at school has only managed to get to terms with how to deal with him recently but how would he cope at football practice. He finds it very hard to listen to instructions and tends to just do what he feels like - i.e when playing footie with his dad he is more interested in pretending that another player has kicked him and will lie on the ground until daddy gives them a yellow card!!! Also he really doesn't like being laughed at and will get really moody if the other kids laugh at him.

I do not want to hold him back but do not know how he would fit in. BTW I don't think the coach would understand if we tried to explain about his behavioural problems as he is just a guy who takes the under 7's for football training!!

Any advice?

Don't really know anything about SN children - but surely it would be worth talking to the coach - you never know he might actually have some idea about it - maybe family or other kids he knows with SN?

Hi Cosmo

J goes to football training and like your ds, he can't follow the instructions and rules. We've debated on whether or not he should continue because dh finds it hard to cope with his behaviour at the sessions (the coach tries to get the kids excited but this just sends J into overdrive), and he spends more time casting Harry Potter spells than playing football. BUT... he absolutely loves it! So we've decided to let him continue. The coach hasn't raised any issues as yet and I assume he simply thinks he's 'a bit lively'. Once we have the final diagnosis I'll have a word with him and explain J's difficulties, but for now we're happy to go with the flow.

If your dh is uncomfortable about taking your son he could speak to the coach in advance and let him know his concerns. The coach will probably welcome some ideas on how to handle him if necessary. I'd say give it a go and if ds doesn't like it as much as he thinks then there's nothing lost, but he could get a great deal from it.

Thanks for the advice

Karenthril - My hubby sounds the same as yours - he too finds it hard to cope with DS behaviour - I think that he is just really hurt about the whole thing he is really afraid that making a difference with DS will set him up for bullying but I tried to explain that this is not going to go away but I think he is finding it hard to come to terms with - he also does not have alot of patience with DS when he is in one of his moods - I try to explain to him to just leave him and he will come round but Hubby finds it frustrating that DS cannot take a joke etc... Don't get me wrong hubby is great with him playing etc... I just think he need to read up a bit more on the conditions that we are facing - so far he seems to have buried his head - he knows something is not right but finding it hard to deal with - must be a Dad/Son thing!!

Anyhow have waffled on abit here - I think we will give the footie a try - I would take DS myself only hubby said that it is something that he wants to do just the both of them - like a father/son things - plus it is on Sunday morning which would mean I could have a really good lie-in too - that is until August when the new baby arrives!!!!

I will let you know how it goes - fingers crossed DS will enjoy it.

Thanks again

Hmm, maybe I spoke too soon...

J's football coach told him last night that if he didn't stop misbehaving he was going to have to send him off! DH still hasn't explained to the coach that J has AS and (I think) is too embarassed to, so it looks as though I'm going to have to pay a visit next week and explain things. I quite accept that certain behaviour isn't acceptable but they need to be aware that usual strategies won't cut it with J. Just need to find out if they're OK about having an autistic kid at the sessions and whether they're prepared to learn how to cope with him. Otherwise we might have to take him elsewhere. It would be such a shame though, because he absolutely loves it.

Will your ds start tomorrow, Cosmo? Good luck with the lie-in!