I need a safe place to grieve and to rage for our summer-born children.

[lingle]

According to the press, Sir Jim Rose has thrown away the Government's suggestion that allowing immature summer-born children to defer their entry into reception for a year should become the norm in England as it is in Scotland.

Although DS2 is now "safe", because I have Bradford LEA's confirmation in writing that we can year-defer and start reception at 5, I am genuinely grief-stricken by this. I have campaigned for this for some time and have become every more convinced that parents need this option.

We have had contact with four health professionals in relation to DS2 now. Whatever I think of them in other respects, all four, plus the two teachers at school, have expressed strong and immediate confirmation that deferring DS2's formal education until he is 5 will fundamentally change his life chances for the better. In my view, this simple act of waiting for the child to be as ready as he can will be more valuable and save the taxpayer more money than any assessment, intervention or therapy.

As if I needed any more confirmation, the specialist early years support teacher who looks after DS2 has confirmed that her pupils consist completely disproportionately of summer-borns.

I suppose the July-August borns with mums who have followed the debate will at least benefit from understanding parents who know it is the system, not the child, that is awry, and who will shield them and remind their teachers of the issue. But the parents who don't know that 4.0 is absurdly early for so many little ones to be sitting concentrating and learning to read, write and add up will be told their child is "behind" or "struggling", if not in reception, where they can soften the blow, then in Year 1 or Year 2. From the statistics about diagnoses of ADHD, etc, it seems that there are many false positive diagnoses in summer-borns.

I feel quite sickened by this wasted opportunity. I feel angry. I feel I should have done more. I need a thread where no one says "Well mine started school at 4.0 and it's wonderful so therefore every child ought to start at 4.0". I feel safer on the SN board.

I should also add that I think the right to defer should be for all children, not just those with SN. Non SN children at just turned 4 can sometimes not be ready for full time school either.

Jill - the early part of this thread got a bit tetchy - just to warn you if you do decide to read through - it's very unusual for there to be any rows on this board. I agree with you - I think it should be like the scottish system - that parents get the choice about deferring based on their child's individual circumstances. very sorry to hear that your child is having a rotten time with his year 1 teacher.

Interesting post JillMLD and I'd be amazed if anyone disagreed with you about your child's experience.

My close friend has a 31st August boy and had a similar experience to you. Reception went brilliantly (great understanding teacher and was allowed to play) then it all went pear-shaped in Year 1.

Jill, would you consider moving him to a school with mixed classes? We have a "pure" Year 1 class, a Year1/2 class and a "pure" Year 2 class. The summer-borns are all the in pure Year 1 class where there is only a 6 month age range. And next year will be better still because in the mixed class there will actually be children younger than them (hallelujah!). Year 3 will then be a big jump so I don't for a moment suggest this solves the underlying problem.

Re special needs. Most children with ASD/ADHD have not been diagnosed when they start school so it is absolutely right to say the deferral right must be independent of SN diagnosis.

Come January, I'll start a new thread trying to set out the way that Rose has misread the IFS report in the hope that lots of mumsnetters will make representations as there is a new consultation period ending in February.

My son, although not SN is a very late August Birthday. I have worked as a teacher, my last school having a "young" class in the year group and an older "class" and the difference in academic achievement and social maturity is marked especially at Nursey and Infant ages. I really understand the initial posters concerns, although I can appreciate that compared with the challenges that some parents and children face they may seem trivial. However she was raising a valid point, some boys especially are labelled as ADHD or "disruptive" when a few months at home would make all the difference.Remember that you do not have to legally send your child until the term of their 5th Birthday. Some schools may be flexible if you speak to them about your concerns.Perhaps the poster chose the wrong forum, but she was looking for support.

My son, although not SN is a very late August Birthday. I have worked as a teacher, my last school having a "young" class in the year group and an older "class" and the difference in academic achievement and social maturity is marked especially at Nursey and Infant ages. I really understand the initial posters concerns, although I can appreciate that compared with the challenges that some parents and children face they may seem trivial. However she was raising a valid point, some boys especially are labelled as ADHD or "disruptive" when a few months at home would make all the difference.Remember that you do not have to legally send your child until the term of their 5th Birthday. Some schools may be flexible if you speak to them about your concerns.Perhaps the poster chose the wrong forum, but she was looking for support.

My son, although not SN is a very late August Birthday. I have worked as a teacher, my last school having a "young" class in the year group and an older "class" and the difference in academic achievement and social maturity is marked especially at Nursey and Infant ages. I really understand the initial posters concerns, although I can appreciate that compared with the challenges that some parents and children face they may seem trivial. However she was raising a valid point, some boys especially are labelled as ADHD or "disruptive" when a few months at home would make all the difference.Remember that you do not have to legally send your child until the term of their 5th Birthday. Some schools may be flexible if you speak to them about your concerns.Perhaps the poster chose the wrong forum, but she was looking for support.

all water under the bridge now .

home educate.

I've only read maybe 12 posts and have to stop before I kick something.

Why is this posted in special needs?

Don't start all this again.

AmIwhatandwhy, if you've only read 12 posts, you won't know that that question was asked and answered.

Lingle's most recent post says it all!

ok sorry I don't have time to read it all, I had no intention of causing upset.

see, I think ds1 having aspergers has fuck all to do with being an August birthday.

why not get the thread moved.
tbh it pisses me of every time I see it.

same here.

do you think they would swap?

Hide it then!

That sounded arsey. What I meant was what I said the first time this thread came around and upset everyone: people should be allowed to talk about it if they want, and people who get upset by it don't need to read it.

I think the birthday and SN issues are related to one another - of course august birthdays don't cause SN, but (as in J's case) an August birthday can exacerbate what is already a huge gap between him and his peers. So I can see why it's in SN but can also see why it's annoyed some, sort of.

Still sounds arsey, but I can't put it any other way!

You can't hide SN threads.

trouble is everytime I see the thread title. it reminds me of dd's friends that have died.
there is no way of advoiding that. it is an SEN issue so why can't it be moved there?

same here. I've been to 8 funerals of dd's 'friends'. And I grieve dd has massive brain damage and will never speak.

It might have been an SEN topic initially but it's got broader. School and SN are inevitably linked issues for most children. Their SN lead to SEN and can't be separated out. I suppose the only exceptions would be dyslexia which is pretty much the only purely educational SEN. But most SN lead to SEN don't they? I know of very few other SN that won't overlap into problems of some form at school.

I think the OP already apologised for the slightly emotive 'grive' thing. But I guess people can't be psychic before they post, so they can't know which words will link to sad memories for others, iyswim.

"I think the birthday and SN issues are related to one another - of course august birthdays don't cause SN, but (as in J's case) an August birthday can exacerbate what is already a huge gap between him and his peers."

I agree with that. Ds1 has the social issues that come with his ASD, but it really doesn't help that he's almost a year younger than some of the children in his class. It was even worse when he was in a mixed year group with children who were in some cases almost two years older than him.

school exarbates SN issues. It made ds1 worse - he has aspergers. It was only when I took him out to home educate that he improved.
There was never any learning gap between him and his peers though. He just hated people and school.

I've been lurking for a while, so hello to Mumsnet special needs parents. I've got a child with severe learning disabilities so I was as surprised as some of you that this thread appears in the special needs section and I totally get the annoyance generated, though I understand Lingle's concerns, having skimmed through most of the comments.

I was an August born 4-year-old in the 60's when I started school. I couldn't read until I was 7, I used to have complete number blindness and I was constantly fidgeting and day dreaming. I caught up when I was 14 and eventually got a reasonable degree at a reasonable university. However, I've always had a lingering feeling of being stupid.

If I was that 4-year-old today, I would have probably been given extra help and maybe even labelled as having special needs. I think that would have helped me and brought me up to speed a bit sooner. As it was, I was left to rot at the back of the class along with the other 'thicko's'.

I hope it won't be a disaster for your child Lingle, and I hope it doesn't sound harsh but perhaps you shouldn't be so grief stricken before anything has actually gone wrong for the sake of your child as well as your blood pressure. I personally think that all schools are too big and impersonal for our kids - apart from special needs and private schools - and the robust kids will always fare better. It is an imperfect system for many and not just for summer born children