So Sad:(

[JaysMum]

It's my little mans birthday today.....it should be a happy morning, but it isn't.
J woke up in a horrid mood....I know it's because he hates disruption and doesnt like the upset in the house of presents etc.
A friend suggested I wrap his presents in cellophane because he wouldnt open any christmas presents because the gifts are hidden from view and he doesnt know if he wants whats inside.
He definatly doesnt like the element of surprise!!

Hubby was so excited because we had bought J a new bike. The cards and smaller presents were opened...so the cellophane overcome the problems we have faced in previous years....big brother bought him another pocket watch to add to his every growing collection....so we had a smile.

The bike was put in the kitchen and after all gifts were opened, hubby called J into the kitchen. The bike was smack bang in the middle of the kitchen......J didnt see it. He just stood in the kitchen with his nose two mm from his new watch........

I feel so sad. J doesnt get excited about anything. It just brings it all home to me when he behaves so different to ds1. I'm sat here hateing myself because I should know better. I should understand. I should not feel like this......but I do and I hate myself for it.

I hate myself for sitting and wishing J didnt behave the way he does......thats like saying I hate my son....he is who he is......but I want him not to be sat on the floor screaming because he wants the bike carried upstairs so no one can see it. He doesnt want it to go outside, EVER. Its too shiny and sparkly. It cant get dirty.

Today is a big day because my ds1 is sitting his entrance exam for a scholarship at an independent school.....now he is in tears because J has biten him and kicked him.......

Hubby is trying to sort out the battles that are going on....I gave up after J threw a cup at me.....

Oh poo......I cant see for tears.....why does it have to be like this??????
I just wish for one day we could magic away J's problems and have just a normal happy day......

Dear Jaysmum

This is my first time reading anything on this site and your messages made me sad, my nephew is Autistic and I know his mum often feels that she would like a normal day. I know what he is like to, he can be very draining. School made a huge difference to him and he is now unrecognisable. He is a totally different child to the one he was. I just hope that in time your son will settle down and you will start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are doing a fantastic job, ds1 and J will do well and grow up no matter what, that is what children do best. Hope you have a better day. Keep up the good work and don't despair! Feel free to moan at me anytime.

Take care

so sorry to see you are having a crap time, its the pits at the moment but hang on there it has to get better.
jo...b

Jaysmum.. just thought of what else I meant to say.. re: your DS1.. have you heard of the Young Carers Association? My DS1 and DD have just got involved.. even though they don't actually do much of the practical stuff involved in the care of DS2, when the lady from Young Carers came round to chat to us, it made me realise how much they do do..and also have to 'put up' with due to being the brother/sister of my DS2.

Siblings of SN children get to go to a fun club to do fun stuff with other young carers (all age appropriate).. go on trips.. even get grants to have 'experiences' they might otherwise not get the opportunity to do. They also get to chat about their feelings as and when they want to. My DS1, age 12, (not the most outgoing of children!) has even signed himself up up be on a panel to be a 'voice for young carers' - much to my amazement!

I just thought it might be something that your DS might be interested in or benefit from. I only have my local young carers assoc number but the scheme is part of Carers National Association which is Tel 0171 490 8818 and they can give you local details. Just a thought anyway.

((hugs))

SJ x

Sleepy Jess
Ds1 goes to a sibling group once every two weeks.He enjoys his time spent there and I know it helps him to be around other siblings of ASD kids who undersatnd what he is going through.

Reiki???? I have posted here about it before but noone really answered my questions. Does it work???? A friend has tried it for her son who became anxious after a school friend sadly died.He enjoyed his sessions and said it helped him feel calmer. Just dont know about J though.....firstly it'll be getting him there and secondly, he will not lie still!!!!

Have a CO appointment on Tuesday of next week.....I will try anything just to see if it will help J have a happier time.

Bit of a bummer day again today. He is so aggressive at the moment.I'm going to give him an Epsom Salts bath later to see if that helps.He ate quite a bit of junk food yesterday!!!!

Hey ho such is life....large glass of red wine tonight will be sure to sort me out!!!

Hi again JM

I started a thread on Reiki a while back.. that's.. here but I know they have been others which I think are archived. I got attuned last year because I wanted to help DH with his arthritis pain.. and it helps him without a doubt. Maybe you could get attuned.. absolutely anyone can do it.. you just have to be a bit open minded. I am not very experienced but I know without a doubt that I have a positive effect when I use it. If you could use it, you could, as I said, treat J whilst asleep, just placing your hands on him for a little while. (I never do 'full treatments'.. no time in my life!)

I'm glad to hear DS attends a group. He sounds a lovely boy.

Enjoy your red wine, love.

SJ x

Just sending you hugs as im not great with words.
I know exactly how you feel just wanting a regular day there few and far between here as well.
My "NT" child suffers the most because everything has to be planned maticulously like a military campaign oh how to have a spontaneous moment again how i wished.
Got to go little man is about to blow himself up from licking the tv screen AGAIN !!! [SHOCK]
XXXXXXXXXXX

momma....J discovered the tv screen liking this afternoon when an advert came on for beakfast cereal he used to eat pre diet change...he walked up to TV screen and started liking away....thinks the buzz is a thrill....have just wiped spit off screen for about the 10th time since 2pm!!!!!