Update

[Blossomhill]

Well the plot thickens.... Had a very long chat with the SALT who said that dd is not on the spectrum, no asd (???) She said that it is very possible for children to struggle with pragmatics but not be on the spectrum and there are lots of children like this. I was pleading with her to say she was but she was having none of it.
She said to trust the doctors and professionals and that although she isn't allowed to diagnose she would agree with that diagnosis.
I do believe her as she seemed very genuine but I also feel like the whole language/adhd/dyspraxia/autism thing is a minefield, it really makes my head hurt.
She also said lots of the children in the base with communication probs had auti traits (even in the ms part) but that doesn't always mean asd.
I know and have learnt so much I am seriously considering going into this field.

I do understand what she is saying.
As you know I have a ds4 with language problems who has lots of autistic traits but is not on the spectrum. I can see that he has differnces from ds3 who is autistic even though some of ds4's autistic traits in certain areas(such as the need for control} are far stronger than for ds3.

Agree it is a minefield as there is no simple test for these problems and no "one size fits all" diagnosis.

In my LEA children with autism are not allowed to access language units, however my friend has had a ds in one and she said many of the children have asd traits.

I hope you can work through it all and it does reach a point where you are happy with dd's diagnosis and it all mskes a bit more sense.

I rarely think about ds3 diagnosis and just look at the whole package of him and his needs as do his teachers

BH have you met autistic children in the flesh (so to speak). The auti children I know are all very different- but all share a certain something. maybe if you met some (rather than read about the condition) it would make more sense. (how your dd is different I mean). You're welcome to meet ds1

Feel free to visit ds1 and ds2 too. You could do a MN tour.

Sorry you didn't get the answers you needed. xx

Jimjams - I would love to meet ds1, I really would! He is so gorgeous. I have a couple of photos of mine now that I'll send to you as it's nice to put names to faces
I have met autistic children of varying degree and no dd isn't similar but she is so bloody quirky. She is highly intelligent and extremely eccentric. i seriously believe that as she loves literacy so much she will be a purple haired, chain smoking author
Her is a bit from the SALT letter today
"She is currently progressing well with both her language and academic skills. Her social skills and pragmatics continue to be a significant need and she requires support for developing turn-taking skills, attention control and eye contact"

They all agreed that dd is better talking to adults then her peers as well.

Maybe you just need to see her as a one off. My friend has a dd like that. She has an autism dx, but she's much more complex than that. She's just adopted another child whon I think will be a one off as well (ADHD but again much more complex than straight ADHD)

I'd love to see a photo btw

Hi BH, sorry you didn't get the answers you wanted. I agree that it's hard to listen to the 'professionals', particularly when they don't seem to agree themselves. It IS a minefield and I hope you can find a way through it.

Thanks Karen I am trying to take a back seat and just think that as we have seen about 20 professionals they can't all be wrong.
Mind you dd is such a complex little thing, she baffles me at times