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Sad news today

12 replies

Amanda3266 · 15/02/2005 20:03

Just heard from some friends of ours that their second child has finally got a diagnosis of autism today. Their first child is autistic too. Why do some families have more than one child with this? Sad for them - they are very down although they have suspected it for some time.

OP posts:
ImuststopdrinkingBlossomhill · 15/02/2005 20:15

I think it can be hereditary in some cases Amanda.

Davros · 15/02/2005 21:35

Autism is totally accepted as having a genetic link, there have been twin studies, family studies etc that show this to be the case (have seen presentations on this at All Party Parliamentay Group meeting). It may not be that the father or mother has family members with definite autistism but the combination of parents, possibly with lesser conditions or traits, can lead to more classic/severe autism in their child(ren). It is also more accepted these days that genetically suseptible children may be born without autism although and then it is triggered by an "event" e.g. MMR, virus, organo phosphates etc etc.

Jimjams · 15/02/2005 21:42

Yep isn't it something hideous like 75 times more likely to have a 2nd child with autism once you have one. My mum was a bit shocked, but maybe realised I'm not paranoid about ds3 (befoore that ds2) without good reason! (ds3 kind of reached out today to swipe at his mobile..I think- hope its not wishful thinking!)

Davros · 15/02/2005 22:04

Who was calling him?
Know what you mean JJ, get fed up of people telling me not to be silly worrying about DD but she DOES have a higher chance of having autism, it isn't just paranoia, esp with my family! Have been worrying a lot less about her in the last couple of months though. Interestingly, my 8.5 year old niece seems likely to have (mild?) dyslexia....

MrsFROSTgetful · 15/02/2005 22:07

I can see 'it' in both our families..... and definitely in my husband and myself..... and tehrefore accept that all 3 of my boys will eventually be diagnosed as having an ASD.

though- neither myself or my husband have a is easy for me to see why our sons inherit the genetic mix of characteristics we show mildly....which in them is more pronounced. (that being that each of us for simplicities sake have say 2 of the 3 impairements...but between us have all 3 of the "Triad of Impairments"....and that our kids therefore have a high chance of inherriting all 3 impairments...

Amanda.... It's not ALL bad....there will be 'mourning/grieving'....but over time the realisation and acceptance will set in- that of 'them always knowing 'something' was wrong.....and now they know what....

Like to say that after diagnosis suddenly all possible help is offered etc...but that is not the case....but what does change i believe in my case is that i definitely see my son's 'less-than-ideal-' behaviour as 'due to AUTISM' rather than as a reflection on me as a parent....and not that 'Unacceptable behaviour is suddenly OK" kids can still be 'naughty' and i don't make allowances for everything....but i guess i handle things differently than before i understood autism....

coppertop · 15/02/2005 22:10

LOL at calling ds3 on his mobile.

I can see lots of traits in both sides of the family. Although we don't yet have the official dx for ds2 it looks as if both our boys are on the spectrum.

MrsFROSTgetful · 15/02/2005 22:14

davros- just read your post...people still think 'we want them to be autistic' make excuses for their behaviour...etc......

There's nothing i would love more than to be able to go upstairs without having to take ds3 with me incase he cuts his hair or as yesterday - trimmed my pastry brush....trivial i know..... BUT EVERY DAY SOMETHING HAPPENS because i have left him alone......then i have to separate the boys at times so they don't hurt each other......i can't have a bath without the door open- forget the candles and aromatherapy.....and oh! to be able to cook a meal and eat it blisfully like the waltons!!!!!!

NO! I wouldn't have it any different!!!......?

onlyjoking9329 · 15/02/2005 22:59

well we have three kids and they all have autism, when my twin girls were DX it was no great shock but when my DS was DX it was much harder to deal with as he had been o.k, in some ways its easier that they all have autism cos i think it would be difficult to have a NT child as they really would be the odd one out so to speak, as it is my lot pretty much understand each other and never question each others ways

dinosaur · 15/02/2005 23:11

Yes, even though DS1 has turned out to be much more mildly affected than we originally thought, I can't help worrying about DS3 - he has a bit of an obsession with red things, which alarms me somewhat...very like DS1 and also like Charlotte Moore describes her oldest son...

MrsFROSTgetful · 15/02/2005 23:20

and i am greatly amussed when things that the boys do are put down to 'learned/copied behaviour'.....when the things that ds3 is doing the other 2 never the way he lines up video tapes.....people assume that cos the other 2 are autistic that they did that too and he is copying them...or when he takes thing leterally they think its my fault (!!!) as with the other 2 i have to explain things out very carefully- so when ds3 takes things literalyy they say it's because i 'sheild him' from 'normal speech'!!!!!!

this makes me laugh as now he's at school he spends as many waking hours at school- in the 'normal' world - as he does with me!

coppertop · 16/02/2005 19:01

We used to get the "He must be copying " comments when we first had our suspicions about ds2. The problem with that theory was that the traits ds2 was showing were either things that ds1 has never done (obsessions with circles, lining things up in patterns) or things that ds1 had stopped doing when ds2 was still a baby (spinning, jigging on the spot etc). At the moment it seems to be ds1 copying ds2's traits. Ds1 has never had a problem with clothes but now takes off his tops in sympathy with ds2.

MrsFROSTgetful · 16/02/2005 20:43

ct- ds3 takes his clothes off too! Really annoying when just as we are off to school i find him half undressed.....and then theres when he sits at the computer by the front room window naked!!!

he hates collars-embroidered detail on tshirts(must rub him) says towelyn socks 'have too many dots' (prickle him)...i have given up having clothes he won't keep on in his drawers as i keep finding it stashed in heaps under his bed...he is very aware what he is or not comfy in.

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