Shock Discovery

[JillyW]

I was told, quite bluntly, on Monday morning by my son's teacher that he needs to be registered for Special Needs. To say this came as quite a shock is an understatement. I never expected anything like this alhtough I am grateful it has been recognised now rather than later. I have noticed recently that he has very little concentration and a very short boredom threshold and wondered if the fish oil supplements might be worth a try. I can't stop thinking about this and feel that its my fault that I'v let him down in some way. Any advice?

Sorry I cant help JillyW but there will be someone along soon who will be able to help.

Just keep bumping the message as it only stays on here for an hour.

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Fish oils IMO are excellent....they have helped my DS with his concentration levels. Also you could have a look at your diet.....I'm a real beleiver in you are what you eat....My son was dx with ADD and we totally changed his diet...no Food Aditives, Colourings etc, No MSG, no Yeast.
His behaviour pattern has improved and so has his concentration.
Presumably your sons teacher is making a request for a statuatory assessment of his educational needs?
What are his problems apart from lack of concentration??? How old is he?

I know it is such a shock when a teacher approaches you to inform you of a possible problem. Have you discussed his difficulties with your GP....maybe he needs a referral to a Paed to find out what his underlying difficulties could be? By doing this you can make sure that you are getting all the help and support for your son. Early intervention is always the best policy....so don't feel hard on yourself....you have not failed him...you love him and by posting here is a sure sign of that. You need help and support and I'm sure you'll find it here.

Sorry to hear that this news was delivered in such a crass way .

My ds2 has SN of a different sort, so cant really help directly. However, the positive side of all this (as you have already said) is that now your ds needs have been recognized he can start getting the help he needs.

There is lots of expertise on this board and I'm sure you'll get some great reassurance and advice

All the best xx

It is not your fault atall!
Loads of children are on the special needs register for a wide variety of reasons.
I am an LSA in a primary school & have to go & see the SENCO next Thursday about my own ds's social & interaction difficulties!
I can understand how you are feeling, as when I recieved the letter about my ds I was devastated ( even though I am aware of what he is like!) & I am paranoid about anyone labelling him.
I also went through the "Where have we gone wrong?"
But at the end of the day, being on the register means they will be getting more help to over come any problems they may have.
As for the fish oil, it cannot do any harm!
Give it a go!

Please don't feel you have let him down although I'm sure being told so bluntly has not helped. How old is your ds and what issues is his teacher highlighting ?

There are a number of similar situations on here (look at this thread for example and lots of discussion about fish oils like this one .

hth

Just wanted to add....don't go rushing out and buying the expensive brands of fish oils....they have additives such as Virgin Evening Primrose Oil and this causes hyperactivity!!!!
Just go for the bog standard Omega 3 Fish oils....you get 100 capsules for less than £4 in Holland & Barrett and they are all you need. It will take about 3-6 months before you notice any change, but it is definately worth giving them a go.

sorry fogot to say J is 5. Other problems include having a very quick temper getting quite agressive if things dont go his way. But this is only at home his teacher has never said any thing about his behaviour only that he cant sit still for 5 minutes and that he has difficulty following instructions.

JillyW, sorry, don't know of any other details or history to this that you might have posted. So sorry you had such a gut-stopper of a pronouncement - and my first re-action was that unless your DS has been assessed by a qualified person (ed psych or whoever) then a teacher is not actually qualified to say, are they? Suggest that you might like to have him assessed, but until he has been assessed, she can't pronounce that he needs to be registered.

PLease don't feel you have let him down - you have done nothing to let him down.

Is there going to be a proper meeting with the school?

Good luck - and sorry, if I am up the wrong tree here.

Jilly...do try the fish-oils.I'm no expert but my daughter was struggling at school about 2 years ago and my Mum suggested trying her on Omega 3's. I don't know whether it was coincidence but her school work (reading,writing,sums etc.) dramatically improved within about 6 weeks. Her teacher was amazed! I try to give all my children these supplements now and my son-who is shall we say very extrovert sometimes!_ totally calms down when he's taken them for a couple of days!

Thanx for all your responses. I'm sure this upset feeling will pass as the news is still very new to me and difficult to accept just now. I just want to do my best for ds as we all do I suppose.

Agree that the teacher could have been more sensitive but, imo, better to be told insensitively than not at all. At least she didn't avoid it as I'm sure many do. If he does go on the register only and not any further towards statementing etc then it is the teacher's responsibility isn't it? She probably did it that way as she was dreading it.
Yes, try fish oils and get the ones Jaysmum says, I'd say avoid EyeQ.

Have to say when ds' teacher told us she thought there really was a problem we could identify with so much of what she said that we couldn't disagree. As we left the room her sigh of relief was almost tangible - I'm sure they don't say these things lightly or find it easy either. Not that it makes it any easier for you as a parent to come to terms with.

JillyW, the fact that you have already got as far as the Special Needs threads is a step forward to acceptance (I still hover around Education adn Behaviour/Development). I had similar emotions rattling around my head for months afterwards (even though we only had about a month between the meeting with his teacher and follow up by OT) torn between wanting more information but not sure what about and denial, yearning to return to the previous state of blissful ignorance.

Good luck

Ref fish oils: I'm veggie so choose to get Omega 3s from seeds such as flax, walnut, hemp, pumpkin. Grind 'em up, sprinkle on porridge.

Found an interesting para on what to look for when choosing Omega 3: "The two active ingredients of omega-3 fish oil are EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid) and DHA (docosahexaenoic acid). EPA is considered to be the ingredient with the therapeutic effect, so it is important to buy omega-3 that contains more EPA than DHA. A pilot study of EPA on depressed patients produced a beneficial effect while in another study DHA proved a total dud."

(from here ).

So anyone going this route might want to comapre conentrations between brands...

Eskimo oil is good with good ratios of EPA to DHA. We get ours online from www.nutriworld.co.uk.

AFAIK DHA is also really beneficial to the developing brain. It is recommended that you take it in pregnancy. As a child's brain is still developing then DHA is going to be a good thing too. I think maybe the EPA is the bit that helps concentration.

Yes, dha is the vital component in pregnancy and breastfeeding as it actually forms the brain. EPA is more important later. They both have important functions in the brain.

I think I have read the body can convert EPA to DHA more easily than the other way round which is why a higher EPA level is recommended. However can't find where I read this now.

Also you might consider a gluten/casein free diet for a while to see if that helps.