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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Need some sympathy please :(

17 replies

Blossomhill · 27/01/2005 20:59

Cut a long story short. Took dd into school and passed the school's waynetta look alike (sorry but honestly it's true) her daughter turned round and said to her mum about dd "that girl is mad/mental, words along those lines. I just gave this girl an evil look and walked in, thankful that dd didn't hear.
I am so pissed off and feel really disheartened to be honest. I know dd is different/quirky but this really upset me.
This girl is about 9 and should have known better I think. I mean there are 52 children in the unit, I am sure dd is not the only quirky one.
I just worry about what is said to dd in the playground. I have been even wondering today if dd would be better off in a completely special school away from all of this peer pressure and having to conform.
I have been feeling so, so good lately. Dd is being good at home and at school and just one little comment from a girl whose mum tells her "to come here you little f'er" has nearly sent me completely the other way

OP posts:

oatcake · 27/01/2005 21:05

kids are tactless and she might not have meant it in such a derisory way.

My friend used to wet herself, and one village carnival day, she was dancing around the maypole and I shouted to my dad "Look! X has wet herself again!" I meant no harm but it just embarrassed my mum and dad completely... but they were nothing like wayne and waynetta...

So your dd has special needs? might it be worth confronting people/children who say such hurtful stuff but in a nice way. ie explain about your dd's condition? sounds simplistic I know, as I have no idea what it's like, just that I would make ds aware that the world is full of different kinds of people who should all be treated with respect and kidness (unless they're little buggers! )

moondog · 27/01/2005 21:08

How dreadful!
Remind yourself that these people are completely undereducated and ignorant fools. Feel sorry for them. Hard I know but they really do NOT know any better.
Remember that the world mocked many many people.
Nelson Mandela,Leonardo da Vinci,Galileo,the Bronte sisters to name just a few.

We all know how well your daughter is doing. One idiot's stupid comment doesn't change that one iota.

(BTW did you ever see that film 'The hand that Rocks the Cradle' where the incredibly protective nanny hears that another kid has made fun of her charge? When noone is looking, she goes up to the kid,smiling sweetly and looking angelic, then grips the kids arm and murmers quietly 'If you f* with X again, I'll kill you. Got that?'
The terrified kid not mutely, and the nanny walks off, still smiling. That's how I often feel (incredibly unpC I know!) and I bet you do too!)

XXX

jabberwocky · 27/01/2005 21:11

at you moondog! I saw that movie again not too long ago and thought "I could see myself do that in certain situations." Completely different reaction from when I saw the movie before I had ds!

Original poster

Blossomhill · 27/01/2005 21:12

Moondog - I could have done that last Saturday when the school bully whacked ds in the eye at ds's party. I was ready to kill

OP posts:

Merlot · 27/01/2005 21:15

Blossom. Nice thought Oatcake about trying to explain and all that, but tbh it sounds like any explanation would be a waste of your breath on that woman!

As you say Blossom, it was one little comment from a child who doesn't seem to have a loving/supportive home (unlike your lucky dd ). I think you should treat it as an isolated incident, but keep your ear to the ground as it were.

Nice glass of Blossomhill is what is prescribed from Dr Merlot xx

Original poster

Blossomhill · 27/01/2005 21:17

Thanks Merlot

I just think that the reason dd behaves the way she does is bacuase her brain doesn't work properly!!!! I get so mad that people can be so cruel and so nasty.

I have taken the dr's orders and have poured a very large glass of wine

OP posts:

moondog · 27/01/2005 21:17

Or three...

eidsvold · 27/01/2005 21:19

It is soo hard - took dd to a soft play area yesterday and this boy was being a bit intimidating. Wanted to step in but dd did respond by trying to push him away. I did glare at him but his dad appeared and I was not in the mood for a fight - could see that is the way it would have gone iykwim.

Sorry that you had to experience that. I often take the stand with people like that - feel sorry for them and pity them then ignore their silly comments. If that is how her mother treats her - you have to feel sorry for her.

JakB · 27/01/2005 21:21

Blossom, hope you are having a LARGE glass of wine. Never 'explain' your amazing dd to people like that. You are obviously such a fab parent and dd is fabulously quirky. Sod those narrow-minded *. Lots of loveXXX

Original poster

Blossomhill · 27/01/2005 21:23

Ah thanks Dd's quirkiness is what makes her who she is I think. She is so theatrical and dramatic (um where does she get that from ). Dh and I always laugh that she will be a chain smoking author (she loves reading and books in general) with purple hair when she is older

OP posts:

JakB · 27/01/2005 21:25

Hurrah for your DD!!!! She sounds just brilliant.

Original poster

Blossomhill · 27/01/2005 21:25

Thanks again JakBxxx

OP posts:

RTKangaMummy · 27/01/2005 21:56

Your DD sounds really lovely

and the other child obviously most certainly is not

The other mum is obviously where she gets her attitude from

DH says that I have a stare that could turn someone to stone

Hope yours is as good as that

coppertop · 27/01/2005 22:23

DD sounds great, BH. As long as when she's a purple-haired chain-smoking author she remembers to bring her old mum a bottle or 2 of wine.

I know it's easy to say but don't let ignorant people spoil dd's achievements for you. It sounds as though she's been making a great deal of progress at the unit.

Dingle · 28/01/2005 09:19

{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} to you BH!
It's been said-there is absolutely no point in trying to confront "people like that!"
It sounds as if the mother has problems understanding her own child-she what effort would she make in understanding yours!
You know how well your dd has come on-keep that in your mind and in your heart and forget about the people that really don't matter!
Love Dingle.xx

Davros · 28/01/2005 11:10

How horrible BH Despite all the good words here it doesn't change how shit it makes you feel does it? I always know that when I'm happy and feel things are going well something will happen at some point that isn't so great. Not being a pesimist, just make the most of the good times and don't let a little bad thing spoil things. As someone said, if you really feel that DD is doing well, and I know you do, what some little brat says doesn't change that. Its very hard to separate OUR emotions about our children from the reality of how they are doing and whether something affects them or not. I'm sure the "medicine" will have worked, try to put it behind you.

aloha · 28/01/2005 11:15

Not making excuses AT ALL, but really, it's not this girl's fault she's so ignorant, it's her horrible parents' fault. And with parents like that she will stand no chance at all in life. So you could even feel sorry for her if you could be bothered. Your lovely daughter has the huge advantage of civilised, loving parents, so is actually much better off in so many ways. However horrible it is to hear such vile comments it always says more about the person saying them than it does about their 'victim'.

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