Me and nursery teacher discussed our concerns about ds today - feel so overwhelmed - long sorry!

[KaySamuels]

I have always had some niggling concerns about ds and it seems his nusery teacher has too. (He is 3 and a half btw)

He is toilet phobic so poos his pants

Is obsessed with toy cars and Thomas the Tank (knows every character's name and colour), and buses.

Lines up objects (not just toys)and becomes unconsolable if they are moved even slightly out of line. Same with towers of blocks.

He has a staple book, and a handful of dvds that he knows every word to. He got a new dvd recently and knew every word the third time he watched it.

Likes things to be 'whole' so a pizza is altogether like a 'window circle', they had a toy one at nursery today and ds was sobbing because someone removed a piece.Same reaction if a puzzle piece is missing.

He has brilliant vocabularly, but talks very formally like a little old man.

Struggles if routines are changed, likes to know in a morning where we are going, what we are doing, who is coming (I childmind).

Gets upset at nusery if an event happens without him being prepare for example coat on time with a prewarning.

I find I adapt conversaion to him as I know what helps for him to respond.

He has also recently developed an obsession with signs.

Teacher said she was pleased I came in to talk to her and had noticed the same things during written observations of him. Has said after half term will call in Head and senco team, with possibility of getting him someone in to nursery to work with him.

She was really nice and I was glad in a strange way that she had noticed but I feel so sad for ds. I don't know how this will affect him or what will happen - feel lik world has been plonked on my head upside down. Has anyone been through similar??

Thanks Tclanger

I will look for that build a beetle game, the child whose house he went to for a play date is kind, just hope he/his mum doesn't tire of ds before he learns bitof turn taking!

hi iwearflares thanks for adding your support. liking your ds's random obsessions

didn't know that about a firm dx til they are 7ish.

nursery teacher has been really great, which is a big relief, ds will be starting mornings in september bigger group and different areas in the setting, so we are aware having just got settled in an afternoon he will go right back to square one in terms of routines and group activities.

gonna do some board games and other turn taking games withds in the school hols

I thought I would update this (I am the OP).

We have a paediatrician appointment for ds on 7th Oct, and a SALT assessment on the 8th October!

I wrote to the LEA requesting a statutory assessment and they haveclaimed the school are providing everything he needs . I have shelved this until I hear from paediatrician and salt, and will then appeal.

I have been fee;ing strange about this recently, doubting myself because I am having to fight and dig my heels in for him, I am not overly confident and am scared of everyone I approach turning around and saying he is fine.

I am keeping him o nursery today as his sleep last night was appalling. He wakes up several times a night a full speed and volume, and was especially bad last night - he is now tired-hyper and I am shattered.

Another update from OP.

We had some assessments with the developmental paediatrician, and he gave me and DS nursery teacher a GARS form to fill in, which he said had 'significant' ratings on them. He has said developmental delay, and autism (most likely aspergers) but no formal dx yet, he also wants EdPysch to assess and then it will go to panel for DX. I was quite gutted the ball was being passed back to Edpsych as he has been very evasive and unhelpful.

School are also now pushing the EdPysch to assess him, as he has not improved and his teacher still agrees he wants 1:1. Theya re gathering video footage as well as written observations.

We are also being referred to ESPD to have ds assessed for Dyspraxia, has lots of these symptoms too and is linked to aspergers.

DS is still pooing in his pants, although his toilet phobia is easing this is has been very long process including reassurance such as visual timetable sequence.

I have drastcially cut my cm'ing hours from 8am-6pm M-F (plus out of hours paperwork and training), to 2-6pm M-F which has helped as something had to give, but I now have financial difficulties too.

Blimey, this is a long, long process. It must feel like they'd have quicker progress rebuilding the Pyramids at this rate!

Very glad the school is pushing for a proper dx. The financial stuff is a nightmare though - sounds like you could do with a decent cuppa?

Hi amber! Checked on your thread before coming back onto here funnily enough, so pleased your DH is doing well.

Yes the financial aspect is quite daunting too. I have applied for DLA (another soul destroying and painstakingly long process)and am waiting for their decision, hopefully that will come through and alieviate some financial pressure, but I have way more going out than coming in. I am trying hard not to worry too much about money and focus on DS but I am a natural born worrier so it is hard!

Everything seems to take FOREVER - I can't believe how hard it is to get some support in place for a little boy who is so clearly struggling. It really is disgraceful. I have lots of people involved but they allseem to be in no remote hury whatsoever - It really does get my back up.