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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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261 replies

hels9 · 21/04/2008 20:38

I'd be interested to know what anyone else thinks, but I do find it frustrating and a real shame when people whose children blatantly do have special needs in the literal interpretation of the phrase feel that posting on this board might be inappropriate. Special needs are, so far as I'm concerned, special needs of any kind - whether related to health, physical needs, behavioural or general-developmental. And that is why I look to this board for advice and support from understanding parents. Plenty of parents have children with special needs in several or all of those categories in any event, and it really would be tiresome to have to post the same message on several different boards to get to speak to everyone you want to.

I will rue the day we ever get separate boards for different categories of special need. (Anyway, the whole argument about dividing special needs up into more specific sub-categories reminds me a bit of the witterings on the Gifted and Talented board by disgruntled mothers who feel that there are too many merely clever children's parents posting on there, so the board really ought to be renamed, or the offending parents chased off with their tails between their legs - albeit that the reasons behind fearing this is the wrong board to post on are far more noble and sensitive to others' feelings than those behind the G&T comments).

OP posts:
ChocolateRockingHorse · 23/04/2008 20:47

TClanger no thank you, I am sticking to Poater food (there is a whole range you know.., not merely quiche!) from now on, it has far less calories

I an so totally in the Poater Clique, I know I am because I have declared myself so, I shall never ever feel left out of a clique again.

We can make all kinds of in references to Poaters and Poating all over the board and nowt but us Poaters and envious wannabes will know what we are talking about

sarah293 · 24/04/2008 07:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

yurt1 · 24/04/2008 09:00

I wasn't miffed either (and didn't think you were stirring hels) - this is something that comes up from time to time- and I think it's important that people are allowed to express 'ugly' thoughts that's all. Especially in the early days - or at difficult time. Generally people know they're being unfair when they do it, but I think its helpful if they know its normal. I don't do the fluffy cloud school of SN A lot about it isn't fair, and it is shit and, well just and.

But poater quiches sound good.

Flame believe me you do not want to get onto velcro cows- but I love the animation coppertop

ChocolateRockingHorse · 24/04/2008 09:43

I can't believe there was a ruck over velcro cows.. or that I don't know about it! (How rude!

Can someone just give me a brief synopsis??! Pleeease? I am a Poater! I ought to know!

ChocolateRockingHorse · 24/04/2008 09:44

Or I may instigate a row about Laminated Dragons. I could you know.. I have the means to do so!!!

Shells · 24/04/2008 10:05

Just wanted to add my bit. Think this board is hugely supportive. It has taught me a lot in a short time and I'm very grateful. My DS does not have 'serious' SN but they are SN just the same and I have never felt unable to post.

coppertop · 24/04/2008 10:16

I won't link to the original cow thread because it got a bit erm heated but there's a sort of explanation on this old thread

Imagine trying to explain Poater Quiche to people in 2 or 3 years time and that's sort of what it's like to try and explain velcro cows.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 24/04/2008 10:21

Oh go on! Since when don't we link to threads just because they were heated! I'll onlt read it honest! Those threads don't satisfy my thrirst for info!

PMSL at Fio in 2005, already at her satyrical best..

yurt1 · 24/04/2008 10:29

oh no you really don't want to read the velcro cow thread and it makes no sense without the context anyway.

Basically in a short period of time there were 2 mums who had very big anxiety issues about their child having SN- especially autism. One had a tiny (3 month?) baby, one had a child of around a year. The child of around a year had been seen by a paediatrician who said they were fine iirc. But she kept posting long lists of her child's 'achievements' (way above any child on here!) and then saying the she hadn't looked at her once when her name was called or something. People initially tried to be helpful, but there were more and more and more threads. The mother clearly had anxiety issues, but as she got more desperate there was more of a 'I don't want my child to be like yours' feel about it and people began t get tired of it. So people began to ignore the postings and then were abused for not answering. It was suggested several times that she seek outside help (which didn't go down very well).

So one bovine soul started a thread saying that she wondered whether people could think before posting (it was the long lists of achievements that were particularly grating) and all hell broke loose.

If you search for it you'll find it, but bear that context in mind. There was a build up to it during which time people were more than helpful.

Oh and then people came crashing in from another site and it got even hotter.

coppertop · 24/04/2008 10:46

I've just had a quick look and would you believe that most of the posts were round about 20th - 21st April. Is it something about this time of year?

I agree that the context makes a huge difference. It was the result of the 'drip drip' effect of several threads like the ones Yurt describes. Without that it doesn't make as much sense.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 24/04/2008 10:50

That's fine Yurt. That is the synopsis I needed Thank you. And thank you Coppertop

katarinawitt · 24/04/2008 10:52

There is a clique on this board. I don't like posting here because of it.

Some of you make others feelvery uncomfortable. Sn is a broad catagory and parents with children who have mild disabilities sholdn't be made to feel bad if they post here.

Some of you create your own misery by not looking beyond the disability. Some kids have sn, yet they do amazing stuff. You should be proud of these kids, not saying that they don't have a "severe" condition and therefore it was easier for them to do things.

mshadowsisfab · 24/04/2008 10:54

oh ffs

oiFoiF · 24/04/2008 10:55

katrinatwit people offload on the board they dont live in misery all the time and they dont fail to look beyond their child disability. Stop being so naive

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 24/04/2008 10:56

Oh FGS!

ChocolateRockingHorse · 24/04/2008 10:56

Katarina... in the nicest possible way, do fark off.

I can't even be bothered to respond to your shite post. Make of that what you will. But please please never ever tell me what I should or should not be thinking/making of my child. You are unqualified to comment on what I should/should not be thinking or how I should/should not be reacting. That's really about all I have to say to you.

oiFoiF · 24/04/2008 10:57

oh dont do the unqualified to comment comment
she will be back saying she has an incontinent dog and dont we all fibnd oyur children revolting in the middle of the night
or something equally bizarre

yurt1 · 24/04/2008 10:57

"some of you make others feelvery uncomfortable"

Really? How? You'll need to be more specific. By being realistic about a child's condition?

"Some of you create your own misery by not looking beyond the disability. Some kids have sn, yet they do amazing stuff. You should be proud of these kids, not saying that they don't have a "severe" condition and therefore it was easier for them to do things."

This doesn't make any sense and I don't recall anyone ever saying that.

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 24/04/2008 10:58

And if you really do have a point to make have the courage to post it in your usual user name.

yurt1 · 24/04/2008 11:01

We have a family member who doesn't like to tune into Reality FM (she suggested we send ds1 to the local public school ffs). She sometimes moans that I'm 'too negative'.

When ds1 kicks off she looks horrified and calls for help (from me). In the meantime she fails to notice I'm the one teaching him to read (when most people think he isn't capable- he might not be- I think he is, but won't know until we try).

I find people who can't cope with reality really tiring and negative to be around.

DrScaredOfNorks · 24/04/2008 11:02

I am so baffled by the people who have found the clique on here...

I have never been made to feel bad about posting on here. Even when I have said myself that for all I know DD is completely NT and I am projecting AS onto her, you have all said you would rather give me the support and me find that true later, than no support without dx.

Off to read those threads... the one linked to on the link (if that makes sense) started on my wedding day

(Tis Flame btw)

mshadowsisfab · 24/04/2008 11:02

where do these people come from?

coppertop · 24/04/2008 11:03

Katarina - Have you actually read the threads on the SN board?

yurt1 · 24/04/2008 11:03

BTW who are these imaginary people making those with "mild" disabilties feel like they can't post here. Can someone show me a post where someone has actually said that?

Half the time I find that what people think of as mild can be problematic indeed (AS springs to mind- I don't know any mother of a child with AS who isn't pissed off by the description of it as 'mild autism').

misdee · 24/04/2008 11:05

wow, really a quiche on here? since when?

these ladies were fantastic when dd2 pre-school had autism concerns about her and we started the referrals to CDC etc. as it turns out, although dd2 is 'quirky' she is extremely bright but coupled with speech delays/problems and this was what was compounded her AS-type behaviours and issues. since starting speech therepy and being supported at nursery and school with SALT sessions, she has flourished and is no longer considered 'quite so quirky' lol.

i really must do a proper update as havent been on the SN boards properly for so long now.