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If one more person says/does XX then I shall not be responsible for Y

82 replies

eidsvold · 23/03/2008 11:44

Just on from the JH responds thread - thought I would start again after my little rant.

2shoes made me smirk when she talked about lamping the next person who says shame to her...

So I thought I would start.

If one more person tsk's or stares or mutters about my child, I shall let them have the full force of my fury at their rudeness.

We took the dds out for dinner last weekend - very concerned as neither had had a nap, had a full day travelling and being busy. They behaved so nicely. Dd1 was brilliant - no meltdown or carry on really. She did not want to hold my hand going out of the restaurant ( happening more and more - she is a big girl now!)

As we left thanking an older gentlemen for moving in so dh could get the buggy through and I could get the dds past without bothering him - he tsks and mutters about kids, then shoots dh a filthy look!!!!

FGS it was 7pm - don't want to be around kids - stay home or have dinner at 8pm when most of them are at home in bed.

OP posts:
PersonalClown · 24/03/2008 15:58

I may lamp the next person that tells me that the way to deal with ds' food issues is to starve him!
Like that's going to help food issues.
Jeez You know, no-one's ever said that, why didn't I think of it?

FUCKWITS.

yurt1 · 24/03/2008 16:53

Oh we used to get that PC. 'He won't starve'. Actually he will and when he doesn't eat all day (which he would do and has done when he isn't given food he will eat) then he starts smelling of pear drops and the ketones make him chuck up for 3 days.

Pixel · 24/03/2008 17:12

I finally got my family to understand that it's not as simple as 'if he's hungry, he'll eat it', and then ds's teacher suggested it! I thought I was hearing things at first.

ancientmiddleagedmum · 24/03/2008 17:12

Yes I got that one about food, only with a new and even more irritating twist - my in-laws "why don't you try not feeding him, he'll soon enough talk and ask for food when he's hungry". There you go everyone, a cure for autism: starvation! Is anyone else finding the bank hol weekend really difficult - lots of visitors and relatives having fun, and me somehow with double the workload as I look after DS and everyone else, with DS acting up due to all the excitement!

pagwatch · 24/03/2008 17:47

I always loved
"not talking ? Don't worry Einstein didn't talk until he was 5...7... 13....married.......near death..."

Yep .Thanks. Because Einstein is exactly what I wanted as a son when I got pregnant. He is sweet and funny and a fucking riot at parties.And clearly was not at all on the spectrum

yurt1 · 24/03/2008 17:48

oh bloody sodding Einstein.

PersonalClown · 24/03/2008 17:51

If I have to hear someone say 'I heard Bill Gates is possibly on the Spectrum. Your Ds could be like that!' just because Ds loves electricals, I will not be responsible for my actions!

Buckets · 24/03/2008 18:27

Right now I'm just hating 'well he sounds like a normal toddler to me' - oh well I'll just cancel the autism assessment programme he's been referred to shall I? He may only be borderline but I don't need to be told it's all in my head.

allytjd · 24/03/2008 18:58

I haven't had many comments, maybe I am oblivious or maybe I am naturally scary and people are too frightened to say anything in front of me!

yurt1 · 24/03/2008 19:49

oh yes buckets. Along with 'all children do that'. My MIL is the only person alive who still says that (because obviously all 9 year olds can't talk etc etc) but it grates every bit as much as it ever did.

Taliesintraction · 24/03/2008 19:58

If you read the collection of these comments, does it not show it's not the kids who are the stupid ones.....

But these prejudices don't always work against you.

Someone I worked with would target "new" members of staff at any pub he went to go to the bar and point to his favourite tipple. By assorted grunts and pointing indicate which beer he wanted, when the bar staff asked for money, on would go the blank uncomprehending stare, the tongue would come out and he would offer 10p.

He would then walk about 5 foot away from the bar, stop, his whole face would light up in a hysterical laugh then he would wander back with his beer acting the innnocent.

They said he had an IQ of 30, not sure I bought into that....

yurt1 · 24/03/2008 20:01

Ha ha- I can imagine ds1 doing that. If he wants into the locked kitchen to try and peer into the neighbours he asks for a biscuit etc etc......

I used to do something similar when the TV license money collection man came round in Japan

TotalChaos · 24/03/2008 20:08

or as an alternative to Einstein, the 3rd cousin twice removed who didn't speak till he was 102, but now is a brain surgeon/nobel prize winner or just simply NEVER stops talking now . with bonus points for (oh but he had hearing problems as an afterthought).

Taliesintraction · 24/03/2008 20:10

Should I mention he is my eldest daughters god father.

We didn't suggest he get a round in at the party though......

yurt1 · 24/03/2008 20:11

Oh god yes, yes, yes. It's all coming back. Amazing the number of distant relatives who didn't talk until 5 and then said 'Mummy would you perchance fetch the condiments so I can enjoy my luncheon' as their first sentence

deeeja · 24/03/2008 20:14

Ancientmiddleagedmum, would you believe it was also suggested to me to starve my son, to force him to ask for food. Also to deprive him of fluids to ask for water, and to not give him any attention, so that he could learn to say 'mummy'.
Monkeypie, my ds3 stuffs food into his mouth too, it is a sensory issue. I have been told to only give him one mouthful at a time. He then stuffs lots of other things into his mouth instead, like ds2's lego bricks. I get he is greedy comments too, along with he has no manners, etc.
Who needs ABA, with little gems like that to work with?

mymatemax · 24/03/2008 20:20

A great one is "You just wait till he gets to school, he'll soon... toughen up/make friends/catch up"
If only starting school was the cure all!

"Well he's just a bit shy"!

"If you keep using that pushchair he'll never walk further than the garden gate".

"Just put him in a pair of pants, he'll learn"

All well meaning comments I'm sure, but what utter crap!

Graciefer · 24/03/2008 20:32

Many of these comments are very familiar to me, but the thing that really gets my blood boiling is the use of the word 'them'.

Recently when talking with a family member who was surprised at the development of DS2 who is 6 months and has Downs Syndrome, she said 'oh yes, DH was talking with one of 'them' recently, they can be quite intelligent you know'.

I was furious inside and then very sad, as it suddenly dawned on me that this family member would probably never have a meaningful relationship with DS2 and how much she was going to miss out on because of this.

nikos · 24/03/2008 20:40

You know what though, I'm quite new to all this but the most hurtful thing for me is that a fairly close family member has said NOTHING since our diagnosis. On the grapevine I heard she is scared of saying the wrong thing. I'd much rather she said the wrong thing than nothing at all. Think that hurts more than anything.

Sidge · 24/03/2008 20:45

I haven't had many comments lately, but usually get "oh, isn't she quiet".

Um yes, she can't talk.

mymatemax · 24/03/2008 20:49

Oh nikos, that is sad, I have (had) a friend who has never asked or mentioned ds2.
Do you think in your case they are trying to understand it themselves first iykwim?

cory · 24/03/2008 21:09

yurt1 on Mon 24-Mar-08 17:48:59
"oh bloody sodding Einstein."

Do you think we could start a new thread for our most hated Not-Role-Model?

For me, it's a toss-up between David Beckham and Darcey Bussell.

Apparently, dd is like them because they are hypermobile.

Yeah, folks, you haven't missed something, have you?

Like the fact that dd is in a wheelchair half the time?

Like the fact that she crawls on her hands and knees to get to the lavatory?

Like the fact that she's only just come off the incontinence medication?

Like the fact that we used to lay the table with 4 plates and a bucket because the weakness of her bowels made her vomit at the end of every meal?

Like the fact that she is on permanent painkillers?

Like the fact that she's missed 1/3 of her schooling over the last 4 years because she's been in too much pain to get out of bed?

David Beckham, I don't think.

TotalChaos · 24/03/2008 21:42

with the Einstein thing - I'm not worried about DS growing up to be a clever geek. I'm worried that he won't be able to live/work independently because of his receptive language problems.

2shoes · 24/03/2008 21:53

I will probally come and post on here tommorow. I taking dd shopping and we are meeting up with her freind and his mum. I am so looking forward to the staring, bless em looks, that 2 dc's in wheelchairs and dribble will attract(plus now she is dry I will have to use a disabled loo yikes)

ouryve · 24/03/2008 22:47

DS1 is regularly called a clever boy for climbing up and getting things he's not allowed to have and for pressing buttons and turning dials on anything electrical with buttons and dials. Grrrr. I love my MIL, but she really needs to buy a clue, sometimes.