Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Original poster

If one more person says/does XX then I shall not be responsible for Y

82 replies

eidsvold · 23/03/2008 11:44

Just on from the JH responds thread - thought I would start again after my little rant.

2shoes made me smirk when she talked about lamping the next person who says shame to her...

So I thought I would start.

If one more person tsk's or stares or mutters about my child, I shall let them have the full force of my fury at their rudeness.

We took the dds out for dinner last weekend - very concerned as neither had had a nap, had a full day travelling and being busy. They behaved so nicely. Dd1 was brilliant - no meltdown or carry on really. She did not want to hold my hand going out of the restaurant ( happening more and more - she is a big girl now!)

As we left thanking an older gentlemen for moving in so dh could get the buggy through and I could get the dds past without bothering him - he tsks and mutters about kids, then shoots dh a filthy look!!!!

FGS it was 7pm - don't want to be around kids - stay home or have dinner at 8pm when most of them are at home in bed.

OP posts:
PersonalClown · 23/03/2008 11:47

Oooooh I'll join you.
The next person that mutters 'Can't control their kids' or 'that kid deserves a good smack' when Ds is in full meltdown in public will get a barrage of abuse that would make squaddies blush.

2shoesistheeasterbunny · 23/03/2008 12:02

the people who talk about dd ..in front of her as if she is not there.
and say oh what a shame!! or poor thing. I do say she is not poor

Original poster
eidsvold · 23/03/2008 12:11

perhaps 2shoes - you could say - she is not poor but we are - would you care to make a donation

OP posts:
r3dh3d · 23/03/2008 12:37

Don't get this so much any more - but in the early days when DD1 was undiagnosed and I was fighting for care (in the very early days, she was dying and I was fighting to get anyone to believe me, home midwife tried to tell DH I had munchausen's caused by not breastfeeding and to get me psychiatric help) I lost count of the number of medical professionals who said: "is this your first child?" Which, roughly translated, means: "can I assume you are an ignorant and hysterical first-time mother, and completely ignore what you are telling me?"

cory · 23/03/2008 12:54

Dd has already reached this stage, apparently she went into her last Outpatients appointment with a homemade card reading:

My last doctor has already told me how lucky I am to have this condition- can we talk about some of the problems?

Though it seems this doctor behaved and she never brought it out.

Taliesintraction · 23/03/2008 13:16

Good on all of you!!!

And no I do not have a Severe SN child but I have been asked to leave places or told to leave because I had a HUMAN BEING who had SLD with me.

I used to find that the posh places looked down at you and one of my fave places to go was one of the roughest biker pubs in town because we were always made welcome and treated with care concern and courtesy.

Arabica · 23/03/2008 13:18

r3dh3d!

I am sick of being told in answer to my expressed fears about DD's lack of speech, hearing and appetite, how 'well' she is doing, just because she can walk...also people feeling they have to comment about her hearing aid and telling me how cute she looks in her glasses/hearing aid combo. Like she was a sick puppy.

Original poster
eidsvold · 23/03/2008 13:19

this was not a posh restaurant by any means - more a cafe bar restaurant.

OP posts:
yurt1 · 23/03/2008 14:16

Dito to 2 shoes about talking as if ds1 isn't there (especially if the conversation happens to be about termination for reasons of LD's- save it for not in front of him please )

Also 'What's his special skill?' and 'they're good at maths aren't they?'.

2shoesistheeasterbunny · 23/03/2008 15:01

Taliesintraction oh I love bikers. dd came home with an easter egg, some bikers had visited her respite place and given them

staryeyed · 23/03/2008 15:16

ooo me too. My Nan said that the other day "they all have a talent don't they." "yeah" I thought "It's just like Rain main" and "aren't they (meaning kids with autism) cute." She just doesn't know any better.

mymatemax · 23/03/2008 15:33

"ah what a shame, he's so handsome, pity"..... like good looks are wasted on the disabled.
think i might deck the next person to come out with that one

pagwatch · 23/03/2008 16:55

ahh yes - the 'special skill' query when the word autism is raised annoys me quite a bit.
My standard rely is always " farting". DS2 can clear a room and melt plastic.
And DS2 gets the "what a shame - he's so handsome" line.
( he is though - he's on my page drinking sprite)
And "can you stop him making that noise " is a particular fav ( do you not think if I could, I would. I have had it for the last three hours - you have had it for two minutes)

daisy5678 · 23/03/2008 19:34

Ok, so it only happened once, but the next person who interrogates me about why we have a blue badge and park in disabled spaces when J can walk (and this wasn't an official person, just a nosey old git) and says "he looks OK, he can clearly walk, how disgusting that you are using that badge" will get more than the verbal grrrr that that particular guy got from me!

yurt1 · 23/03/2008 21:37

We get the 'shame he's so handsome' one as well. I'm always tempted to reply 'what? so it wouldn't matter if he was pig ugly' but of course I don't I just smile sweetly.

TotalChaos · 23/03/2008 21:41

"they all talk in their own time"/"his speech seems fine to me". erm yes, that's why salt is referring him to their inhouse ld/social communication disorder team.

yurt1 · 23/03/2008 21:42

oh that one used to drive me mad. I had forgotten that.

I now get annoyed with people who tell me he;ll talk. Why? He hasn't in 9 years. It was actually a relief to hear a professional tell me last week that he will probably never talk. At last someone prepared to be realistic.

yurt1 · 23/03/2008 21:46

Actually that's wrong. He hasn't talked in 8 years. He did talk when he was little.

But the conversation went like this. She was telling me about a program she runs.

Her: Some children start to talk as they progress through this program
Me: Oh right
Her: What's your son's speech like
Me: Well he can intonate whole sentences but he has very few consonants, it's all vowels.
Her: Oh. Well in that case it's unlikely that he'll talk.

Hallelujiah I could have kissed her. That's exactly the impression I'd come up with my reading over the last however many years. At last someone not reacting like I've given up on him, or are being really negative because I think he's unlikely to talk.

We can forget speech and concentrate on other things.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 23/03/2008 21:51

Oh good god do people really ask what their special skill is?

I can sympathise. I get royally fucked off when folk tell me that DS "just needs a good smack/talking to". I feel like handing him over and saying "If you think you can do better, be my guest while I go and have a cuppa".

I'm not sure what's worse though - the comments, or, being actually stepped over in the street as though we werent there when DS has kicked off about something and is on the floor screaming and tantrumming. One man even had the gall to ask me to move out the way once when DS was kicking off in a doorway to a supermarket. I wouldnt mind, but it wasnt even the only entrance - it had 2 sets of doors!!!!

coppertop · 23/03/2008 21:52

The next time someone says to ds2 "Didn't Mummy put a coat on you today?" I swear I will throttle them with the sleeves of the bloody thing.

Yes he owns a coat.
No, I haven't forgotten to give him it.
No, it's not some twisted punishment I've invented.

Here's his bloody coat. If you can get him to put it on and keep it on then good bloody luck to you.

And breathe.....

deeeja · 23/03/2008 21:56

How about,'they shouldn't let them into this country'
'these people have no manners'
'they don't teach them manners, you know'
'they ought to learn how to behave before they let them out'

This was two stupid women stood behind me at my local supermarket.

yurt1 · 23/03/2008 21:56

Actually I loathe the people who flinch. The guy who came closest ever to getting a mouthful was the father of two young children on a ferry who shook his head after watching ds1 increasingly lose the plot on a 4 hour ferry journey.

CT- there's a boy on ds1's bus who refuses to wear 2 layers. So no coat for him.

welovetelegraphpoles · 24/03/2008 01:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chonky · 24/03/2008 14:43

My favourite is 'it's ridiculous how big they make buggies these days' whilst tutting. It's a SN buggy FFS you fools.

monkeypie · 24/03/2008 15:52

Arabica, i always get the 'he looks so cute in his glasses i can't believe he keeps them on!?'

sometimes i get, 'oh he is so greedy', ds stuffs alot of food in his mouth all at once but it's nothing to do with being greedy.

I have had someone in my house say, 'it's amazing how clever he is on the computer, you can't believe there's anythng wrong with him'!!

I'm so glad we are leaving playgroup as DS is starting nursery after easter, the mums in the babies section were giving us both very strange looks as ds loved playing with the baby toys. FFS get over yourselves!