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Original poster

aspergers syndrome

18 replies

spidermansmum · 20/12/2004 23:04

My little boy was assessed today and we think he has aspergers syndrome. Can anyone tell us what to expect next?

OP posts:
Socci · 20/12/2004 23:11

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coppertop · 20/12/2004 23:11

Who did you see to carry out the assessment? I think what happens next will depend on how old your ds is and what help he already has (if any). Have you been given the official diagnosis yet?

Apologies for all the questions!

ladyrobinredbreast · 21/12/2004 10:07

hi spidey

im going to bump this up for some of the others to see

JaysMumWantsaSilentNight · 21/12/2004 20:44

Would suggest a visit to your local library and getting penty of reading material....there are also plenty of ASD sites available to visit and check out.

Our little man is awaiting his assessment for Aspergers and we found a site called ASD friendly really supportive....so between all the MNetters here and the guys at ASD we have learnt so much about Aspergers and our son.

Good Luck.

Original poster
spidermansmum · 22/12/2004 21:16

My little boy is 4. We were expecting a diagnosis of adhd, so when autism was mentioned it came as a bit of a shock. I don't think it has really sunk in yet. The doctor said she is very certain that he has aspergers syndrome and they are going out to observe him in school after the holidays. At the moment i just feel like crying but i know that it won't help anybody.

OP posts:
coppertop · 22/12/2004 21:34

Hugs to you, Spider. {{{{}}}}}

My ds1 is 4yrs old and was diagnosed with autism about a year ago. Have a good cry if you need to. I was expecting ds1's diagnosis and it was still upsetting.

Is there anything we can do to help? Ask away if you have any questions. xxx

Original poster
spidermansmum · 22/12/2004 21:43

Thanks coppertop. At the minute I seem to be spending all my time trying to explain things to my family. My mum is convinced that he is just spoiled and when I tried to explain it to my 6 year old she asked if his brain did not work. Does anyone have any ideas how to explain aspergers to a child?

OP posts:
coppertop · 22/12/2004 22:00

I've been wondering a bit about this myself. A very simple explanation would be something like "X's brain just works a bit differently."

I know what you mean about the family thing. My mother has read ds1's assessment reports and still seems to think that either I caused his problems by being lazy and not teaching him to do X,Y and Z or I'm attention-seeking. Grrr!

A good book to read is "Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers Syndrome" by Luke Jackson. He wrote it when he was 13. It's a lot easier to read than the usual academic books and it has some really useful anecdotal stuff in it that I found really relevant for ds1.

Davrosthesnowwoman · 23/12/2004 09:49

Apart from the Luke Jackson book there are various sibling books, suggest you look at the publications section of the NAS website. www.nas.org.uk. You could get ideas and look in the library if you don't want to buy them or find out if there's an NAS branch near you, they may have books they can lend as well as LOTS of experienced parents. I wouldn't waste too much time trying to educate your family, they'll see it over time or they won't. You need to spend your energies where they are better used, on your child.

Flumberrysauce · 23/12/2004 10:08

My Grand dad has it and my dad (mildly) they are both fine. You wouldn't think there was anything up with them really except:

They don't 'get' a lot of jokes.
They have slightly less of the 'social niceties' than most people. Which is nice in a way as they are honest about what they want.
They quite enjoy spending alot of time on their own.
They are pretty obsessive about mechanical stuff and fixing things (actually very handy)

They both only found out about in later life.

Both had very successful careers - one an engineer, the other Management Consultant

Flumberrysauce · 23/12/2004 10:10

Management Consultant in Emotional Intelligence. how weird is that!!!

Davrosthesnowwoman · 23/12/2004 10:11

My sister has AS and I wouldn't say she is fine at all (she is 47). Any strategies you can learn NOW to help him then the better. It will also be better if he can have a chance of understanding and accepting himself with a dx.

Flumberrysauce · 23/12/2004 10:15

From what I know about it. Which is very little. There is basically a spectrum from Autism to mild social unneasiness and people fall at some point along that spectrum. So all are different. Some can have totally normal life and others more diffuculties.

My Grandad was 'socialised' including being changed from right to left handed. Because that is what they used to do. He is fine but really struggles with relationships with people and is always upsetting people.

My dad just seems normal to me.

Flumberrysauce · 23/12/2004 10:25

They both struggle with Sarcasm and just think you are being serious.

Although my mum accuses me of that too.

My Grandad really freaks out about going away from home. In fact he won't at all now. Just really hates the upheaval and gets really confused and very moody.

jmb1964 · 23/12/2004 11:49

we had the same kind of shock with ds1 then aged 5, and it was horrible. But a year and a half on, things are so much better - he has the support he needs in class, and is getting to know himself and how to cope with the way he feels in certain situations.
Jimjams said to see the diagnosis as a signpost not a label - useful, he is still your loved little boy, diagnosis or not. But getting used to it all is a bit like a grieving process, and if you feel like crying that's probably the best thing to do. Agree don't waste time trying to explain to extended family until you feel more secure yourselves. Good luck - Mumsnet is here for you!

Saker · 23/12/2004 14:26

My little boy has a global developmental delay, not really severe but still enough to make him different from other children. I just wanted to echo what jmb said - we were concerned about him and got him referred to a paedriatician who wrote a fairly shocking report a year ago. I felt terrible for ages - I couldn't think about anything else (and ds2's problems are relatively mild compared to what some SN children have to deal with). I was thinking about it this week how much better I feel about things now so I just wanted to tell you that in the hope it might help you get through the difficult bit. It also gets a bit better once you start to get some help in place and meet up with other people in a similar boat.

Original poster
spidermansmum · 23/12/2004 18:26

Had a good cry last night and feel much better today.
I still can't really face up to the fact that he is different from other kids, it was almost easier thinking he was just spoiled!!
It's good to know that other people don't think i'm crazy and can understand what's going on, so thank's to everyone who has taken time to reply.
I hope to have a good xmas and will face the new year doing the best for my son, but it's great to know that mumsnet is always here when i need it.
Big THANKS to lady robin who told me about mumsnet

OP posts:
ladyrobinredbreast · 23/12/2004 19:41

hi spidey
no need to say thanks...
bottle of wine will do nicely...

just checking in to see how you
got on as i havent been on MN as much lately .

told you everyone was really friendly..you'll soon be addicted xxxxx
Mrs Redboobs

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