Thread 12. Autism and any other additional needs.

[danni0509]

Thread 12.

For parents / carers of disabled children, autism, adhd, and all other related neurological conditions. Most of us have children in primary school. But everybody welcome!

Chatting about anything and everything related to SN!

Just typing quick as ds needs to get ready for bed. I’ll link the previous threads later.

x

Carrie it makes me laugh too, you couldn’t make it up! I don’t know what it is with me and my family that makes people want to mug us off so much 🤣

danni you really couldn’t make it up. I can’t believe they sent the same driver, does that mean it won’t be him when the other drivers are back from sick leave?

How did the drive there and back go for ds today?

Danni I meant to make a more useful suggestion. If DS is better/ fine with you in the vehicle can you not go with them each day? I know that’s a total pita but better than you driving, needing a second car, racking up fuel etc, you are still losing the time out of your day either way. And you can see if they are over exaggerating DSs behaviour… just a thought.

He was fine on the drive apparently, but when I took him into the house, the driver asked for the kindle, he said it had to stay in the vehicle, I said excuse me? He said x has paid for it so it’s been requested to stay in the vehicle so he can just have it for the drive to and from school each day. He then held his hand out for me to give it to him.

🤣🤣

Firstly they didn’t pay for it, I did last week.

Secondly they were giving me £100 towards it as a goodwill gesture for all the running about I’ve been doing, of which giving me the money never happened, then when i spoke to her again I said I spent £70 in fuel last week which I cannot afford to do, so couldn’t be doing it again, they said they would reimburse that instead, which made no sense when they had actually offered me £100 to begin with.

But regardless, I’ve yet to receive any money from them for anything, then they are dictating the kindle be left in their car.

The kindle cost me £140! On my credit card, which I can of course prove, what a bunch of fucking melons!

I said all the above to him and took the kindle inside. He then got on his phone and I’m assuming rang the office. I watched the old bastard out of my window.

If he tries to keep hold of it tomorrow I’m going to get done for the battery of a 72 year old man. I’m not joking. Lol

They can of course phone the council if they wish, they have let me do the run all last week offering me the fuel back (when I could of actually claimed more from the council) but then they’ve charged the council for the week as though they did it, and she told me to not mention it to the council.

Im not the one in the wrong.

@carriebradshawwithlessshoes I hope that provides you with your evening entertainment 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Danni I’m still at work so I need some but really 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

carrie no I don’t want to take ds in the taxi.

The way the school system works the taxis and buses drop off but don’t get let out of the secure car park until 9.20 they aren’t allowed to open those gates until all children are off the buses and in, they don’t rush, then I don’t get home until about 10.15am, then I am collected again at 2.10pm, (that was what happened those 3 days I did the Pa job in September, bored the shit out of me) then at home time it’s the same situation, stuck in the taxi. Poor ds has to do that every home time, it’s a joke! Unfortunately that’s their system.

I think I’m going to drive him, i just need to sort things out for the car situation. I have worked out each month (barring the school holidays etc) I should get about £700 per month in mileage. He did explain it all to me earlier. I have to get a sheet signed by school on the last school day of each month confirming ds attendance, then take a pic and email it to him and then he’ll authorise a bacs payment to me on the 1st of each month, in arrears. It also doesn’t affect my other benefits, as it’s a reimbursement for SEN transport so it’s not counted.

That will cover the full fuel, increase to my insurance for driving more mileage and wear and tear which is going to increase etc. I wouldn’t be out of pocket at all, just my time, but if I take him and collect I’ll be quicker than the taxi as I drop off and collect through a different entry and exit point so no being locked in the car park, I park on double yellows stick his blue badge out and whip him across the road, plus I don’t piss around and do everything quick.

And the main thing it cuts all this bollocks out with transport and ds will be better managed. I just have to do the driving, but never mind.

Danni I can't believe they sent the same guy!!! It does sound like you taking him would be better, if only to stop having to deal with those idiots! They really shouldn't be allowed to work with SEN kids.

Ds did his first full day at school today. Very proud of him.

That's great news Liv. Well done to you both.

Danni that is just ridiculous- car, driver, Kindle- you couldn't make it up.

I’m pleased your ds has managed a full day in school liv.

@liv that's great news. @danni0509 you really couldn't make it up, can't believe they sent the same driver!
Our EHCP meeting was actually really constructive and the case worker has agreed 99% of my amendments. I'm still not quite buying that as it doesn't specify 1-2-1 in specific lessons it means all, but they're funding a full time 1-2-1 which school are hiring for so I'm happy.

Yes, congrats liv. I hope today goes just as well.

Congratulations @livpotter !
@danni0509 I don't know what to say, honestly. We ended up stopping DS' taxi last Sept due to issues with drivers etc., but not as bad as that! And how rude of him to demand the kindle etc.
We're pootling along looking forward to half term. Busy few weeks at work. I've applied for a dream job but we'll see!

Good luck Elizabeth.

danni how did today go?

Open he has been fine in the taxi today, so 2 days in a row. But he’s had the worst day in school today. Honestly unbelievable what he’s doing there.

He’s thrown a tub of Lego bricks at his teachers head, broke a 3rd pair of her glasses since the start of term, he then took all his clothes off and was weeing at anyone who came near him, the head and assistant head had to evacuate the class, all the other children had to be taken to the next class, then 3 members of staff have had to get a blanket around him and calm him and 3 had to re-dress him, then as the teacher went to leave after helping to dress him he grabbed her hair and the head and the assistant head have had to spend 5 minutes prizing ds hands off her hair and he’s pulled all her hair out, he wouldn’t let go of her hair and nobody could get him to release her hair from his hands, then he’s spat and pulled the hair of anyone that’s got close to him, they had to get him hoovering the classroom for the last hour of the day to keep him away from the other students.

Im totally at a loss on what to do, his teacher is going to phone me in the morning, she’s emailed me all of this this evening.

Forget me taking him to school, he’s not going to have a school to need taking too !

Good luck with your job Elizabeth

Jules ds never mentioned 1-1 either, they don’t like to add that as then they are accountable, ds always had 1-1 though (and the rest)

Ds was ok when he came home, just being a general pain in the arse but nothing like that what he’s been like in school today, he’s just gone to sleep.

Oh danni, you must be at your wits end.

I wonder what sets him off on these episodes. Does he do anything similar at home? What do you think is causing them? Do school know?

Big hugs, it can’t be easy

Danni that must have been very distressing for everyone involved including ds. They clearly can't manage him very well there. I'm sorry this is happening, sending big hugs too!

Hope you get the dream job elizabethbennet, very exciting!

Great the EHCP meeting went well Jules. We never had a 1:1 specified either but the school did follow through with it.

Sorry to hear that Danni, I would only repeat what Open says. School are usually very hot on the ABC thing of what happened before to trigger behaviours etc etc aren’t they. I’d be pushing them for this info as much as allowing them to relay the factual story of what he has done which seems from what you say to be their focus…

Oh Danni, it's exhausting isn't it. Just when you find a way forward with transport another challenge appears. Hope that they can get to the bottom of what set the incident off.

ElizabethBennett'sBoots good luck with the job application

So ds had a tricky journey to school this morning, arrived at school all over the shop the school said, he did leave the house ok.

Then on the way home did similar in the taxi to what he did last Monday, broke the side panel of the sliding door kicking it all the way home, spitting, hitting, threatening to kill the driver and Pa,

I got him out and the taxi said they aren’t sure what to do and they don’t see how they can continue transport, I agreed, so I’ve phoned the council and the council have stopped transport now, they have said it’s the safest option for now, so I’m taking ds from tomorrow, and claiming the mileage.

fortunately I have the car for the 2 days he has left at school, then he breaks up for half term, so I’ve got to sort something over half term regarding dh work and the one car we have.

It’s probably for the best danni, it doesn’t mean it’s for ever.

Incidentally, is ds any different at school, or home, on the days you’ve driven him yourself?

I’ve done the transport so infrequently during the last 2.5 years so it’s hard to say, last week was better those 4 days I took him, he did have some incidents at school during those days, but I imagine that is par for the course in a specialist school, but he was generally fine on all journeys with me.

When I was PA for those few days in September he was good as gold in the taxi. That’s why the driver wanted me as the PA 🤣

Ill report back tomorrow and Friday and we’ll see how it goes

What did school say Danni about yesterday, did you catch up with them on the phone? I hope it was a constructive conversation.

She didn’t end up ringing me carrie. I just got another email this afternoon regarding some other things he had done today, (throwing dried rice in cookery at the children and pouring jugs of water over the staff, she also mentioned he was very dysregulated arriving at school this morning so had spent quite some time in the sensory garden)

I think going everyday will wear thin with their face to face communications, but at least I have the option to iron out certain things should I need too.