Thread 12. Autism and any other additional needs.

[danni0509]

Thread 12.

For parents / carers of disabled children, autism, adhd, and all other related neurological conditions. Most of us have children in primary school. But everybody welcome!

Chatting about anything and everything related to SN!

Just typing quick as ds needs to get ready for bed. I’ll link the previous threads later.

x

Yup atm onesies / clip together vests under everything / as an outfit in themselves, usually with a second nappy on top and back to front.. but she still manages surprisingly fast !!

Interesting comments re the EHCP. So in the grand scheme of things the view seems to be that they are more useful for MS additional provisions?

so you don’t think it’s worth arguing that after 12 months DS isn’t [list my grievances, long list!], because section f is inadequate?

DH says I’ve got to be careful not to make them feel attacked or they will just kick back and argue it’s DSs lack of capability and that will be depressing for us. Very hard to know how to tackle this meeting!

carrie I don’t think anyone said that? We can only reflect on our own experience. You get to input into section F, it should be collaborative not dictated to you. I would have a think about what you believe he needs and why and go in and ask for it. Also ask what they think he needs and what they can provide.

Possibly though some of it will, naturally, be because your ds is not ready yet. That doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be showing some progress. Are there still things he’s doing at home that he isn’t at school? Are there any that are the opposite way around?

Sorry, that was in response to this:

so you don’t think it’s worth arguing that after 12 months DS isn’t [list my grievances, long list!], because section f is inadequate?

I might think about saying that you are disappointed that more progress hasn’t been made in the last year but focus mainly on what should be done in the future. Ultimately you didn’t really know what to expect from the school a year ago. Now you have more experience you are in a better position to have some input.

Is anyone back today? dimples when does dd start? My goddaughter starts this year but not until next week.

Open mine are both back tomorrow. DD who is generally a good sleeper (but a rather early riser) has been waking in the night the last few nights and us generally a bit unsettled.

I received the letter I need from the LA today together with the school I wanted's response. They said that there is no space, the current staff:pupil ratio is necessary to meet the needs of the existing pupils, DS is 'very vulnerable and there are a number of other children in the class exhibiting very challenging behaviours'. I know that this is an issue that some of you have encountered (aggressive behaviours from classmates) but of all the special schools I looked at this seemed the least challenging...feeling rather low again. But need to pick myself up so that I can be positive for the DC with their starting/returning to school anxiety

DS was back today. I think it went OK.
@dimples76 that's not a legal basis to refuse. There are things special schools can do with small group work etc. Appeal. Use the ipsea website to look for the case law to quote in your appeal, I remember there's cases where the school said they were full but DC still got a place.

Dimples, what then do they expect you to do if that’s not a daft qu? So if school currently says can’t meet needs and the ss ones say they are full are you just expected to keep applying further and further afield? What Elizabeth says is right I know from reading on here. I’m not sure how you get around it but others have.

DSs school said they were full for the next 18 months but offered after that so with a long long stop date. Kids will be leaving all the time and they can create more classes surely? Even if they can’t I’m not sure what the expectation is if ms says they can’t meet need???

Carrie I am going to appeal as ElizabethBennett'sBoots says the reasons they have given are not lawful grounds. However, I believe the hearing date will be about 9-12 months away which effectively means mainstream for this year. Because DS turns 11 in June (I delayed his school start) he is going to have his transitional review this term and then I should find out in February what school he has been allocated for secondary. Didn't want him to skip a year but I don't want him in mainstream and thus might bevthe quickest/simplest way. Hopefully that will go the way I want but I suppose at least if not I will already have an appeal pending.

I suppose if things continue to deteriorate then I can request emergency review.

Bags and outfits are all laid out ready for tomorrow but I don't feel emotionally prepared for it

I delayed DS too dimples so I know where you are coming from. So he’s starting year 6 tomorrow, are you wanting him in SS asap? Is this school just a primary so he would finish next summer in any event? If the ss you want offered him a place for next sep would it be so bad for him to do this last year where he is? And then move? We applied around now to DSs, they offered, eventually, at Xmas for the follow sep.

Can school not assist? Can you ask them to lay it on thick? A friend of a friend had a child in year 5 in ms, she was actually ok with him staying there but school wanted him out, they ended up doing a deal with a ss and arguing to the hilt they couldn’t keep him. Regardless of what mum wanted it was the lever for him to join the ss for the start of year 6. I’m not saying DS is that bad by the way, but if you have a good relationship with school can they present a dire situation? He then has to go somewhere….

Or he is starting year 5 tomorrow then, that’s prob right isn’t it. I don’t think it affects what I’ve written tho…

Yes, he's starting yr5 tomorrow. I think that the transitional review should be next Autumn not this really - because this means he will skip year 6. However, I would rather that he moved to special school year 7 next September than stayed in mainstream and did Yr 6. The special school I want is primary and secondary but my second choice is just a secondary.

best of luck for today dimples and anyone else back today.

Last day off here. Ds was looking at his back to school social story yesterday. I think he’s a little excited but I’m prepared for pushback in the morning.

Drop off went well, fingers crossed for pick up

I’m not a violent person but I honestly at this point want to punch DS’s caseworker in the face.

Been chasing transport arrangements for two weeks having been promised it would be sorted. I finally got hold of her (no response from transport) and she said it won’t be in place till the 18th. I asked how I was supposed to safely transport DS to school when he’s back tomorrow and she said I’ll just need to deal with it. I really don’t know how. I only asked out of utter desperation, I hardly asked to just save myself the journey.

Yay. I’m so pumped for being repeatedly bitten, kicked and punched till the 18th while trying to keep DS from running into traffic. Even more so looking forward to Thursday and Friday when I have the two younger ones with me. The school run is two hours a day, so I’ll also need to find a way to make up four working hours over the course of the week till it’s sorted 😡

I get that services are stretched but it gives us no time to hire help, ask nursery for more hours or change our working hours. They could have told us this weeks ago.

Jaberwockky I’m not surprised you’re angry, they’ve had plenty of time to sort this out.

Fingers crossed dimples

By 18th Jabberwocky - that's ridiculous. Mind you nothing surprises me with these people. One of my friends was refused transport and advised to check out the bus times - she said are you seriously suggesting that my profoundly disabled 2 year old should travel to nursery on the bus unaccompanied ....

DS's new 1:1 said that she thought DS might have a meltdown tonight as he had been so good today. On the way home he was walking semi- backwards people watching. I warned him to turn around but he didn't, walked into a post, screamed the street down and walloped DD. So DD ended up crying most of the way home (in my arms) with DS alternating with screaming and crying. Living the dream!

Shame for DD as she seemed to have had a really good day and was happy until DS came out. My sister saw DD at break time and said that she looked v confident and was comforting a child who was upset.

All is peaceful for now ...

Ds had no PA this week, the taxi company and council have only had 7 weeks to sort it out and have failed to do so.

They phoned me on Monday and said that if I couldn’t be his PA then he couldn’t go to school this week. (Dh has the car this week so I couldn’t of taken ds myself plus I shouldn’t be having to drive 88 miles a day to ferry ds there and back from school 40 minutes away when I’m not being paid for it anyway, been there done that on more than one occasion at no reimbursement to myself, it’s just expected of me as ds parent, which pisses me off not only my time but my fuel and wear and tear on my car, the council literally pay his transport and PA costs, and I didn’t stick him that far by choice!)

Anyway dickhead sat here is ds PA until Monday.

He had his first day back today, he has a new taxi driver, 72 year old man, who if he’s not going to have a heart attack through old age he’s going to be having one from ds behaviour 🤣🤣 he seems nice, but VERY old school, i give him 6 weeks, our drive home after dropping ds was interesting. Telling me all about how he deals with kids kicking off in the vehicle, he stops the car tells them to get out and walk. 😳 he said he had one lad punching the PA in the head so he refused to take him again, seems to pick and choose his jobs to suit, so I don’t envisage him being ds driver long term.

Also already had a mini run in at school this morning. School starts at 9am, taxi got to school for 8.55am, joined the queue of SN buses and other taxis waiting, staff started to filter to the car park just after 9am, all staff seemingly had a designated bus or taxi to go to and collect the children from,

got ds out with his bags and no one was coming for him, 9.05am I said to a staff member walking by, who’s taking ds? (I don’t usually do the dropping off / PA job so wasn’t entirely sure) she said someone will be out for him soon,

9.14am they came out for him, I said is this usual for him to not be taken in until this time? She said unfortunately yes, we only have so many staff to unload taxis and buses and safely deliver to the classrooms, so we get to each child as and when we can. I just said right, but school starts at 9am? She just said I apologise but nothing much we can do.

Ive text old taxi driver and she said yes that’s typical and it’s always roughly that time.

They throw him out at bang on time though……. 😡

Winds me up.

New driver was getting a bit annoyed at having to wait passed 9am aswell, he kept checking his watch, he said he will collect him exactly 6 hours after he goes in each day to teach them a lesson 😂😂😂

Danni, you are DS PA!!! Sorry, that and the driver story is just hilarious! You never know, DS could click with him, sometimes expect the unexpected. Or you and the driver could end up pals after your chats there and back 🤣🤣.

Oh danni surely that’s too old to be ferrying a sn child? Sorry you’re having to be the PA but at least you found out what’s going on re. times.

Ds had a good morning thank goodness.

Oh Danni, I don't know what to say. How unacceptable all around

I hope things have gone well for everyone this week. It’s been a great start for ds thankfully but glad for a couple of days off now.

That’s ds first few days back complete.

His teacher phoned me this afternoon for a catch up after the holidays and said he’s been great returning this week.

I’m also done being PA. Thank god.

Have a lovely weekend all x