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Original poster

Emotional from school play but for all the wrong reasons

85 replies

ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 03/12/2004 23:18

(just typed this all out and lost it, so excuse the way i type this out again now.)

School play today, Lottie was as heep. \
When the other sheep moved anywhere from their position at the side of the stage Lottie was picked up by a teacher, carried off and taken to sit with the teachers, tather than just be left, happy, with the other kids standing or sat at the side of the stage.

It took every ounce of self control to stop myself from rushing the teacher and grappling Lottie off her and putting her with all the other kids. I was fuming and gutted.

I had a word today, I will have more (with the 700 pound cheque in my hand for the next term) and I have spoken to Portage who are in ther on Tuesday.

I feel like they killing her with kindness. It broke my heart today that they didn't just leave her alone to be with the other kids. She was fine, they didn't need to single her out.

OWWWWWWWWWW. Ow, ow, ow.

Well they have a chance to rectify this, hopefully we can make them see what they are doing wrong and ohh, ......................

sorry lost the will to type.

OP posts:
SantaFio2 · 06/12/2004 09:06

sorry i am so late. Feel so sad for you and lottie and angry too. We had similar problems with dd's first nursery and I did take her out of there in the end because i couldnt bear it. She was treated so different and it wasnt even necessary. Thankfully the two mainstream nurseries she went to after were both great. DD was even Mary at the one school play and she just joined in like the other kids. Even though she couldnt sing she "vocalised" with the other kids and was treated just the same. makes all the difference.

The first nursery though, the disaster one, I felt like freak mother. She was treated with kid gloves and they did totally inappropriate things with her. the one i was most angry about and was the one that broke the camels back was when they said dd "liked to watch" the other children so they put her on a very LARGE beanbag to watch. She had only just started taking a few steps at walking and couldnt climb up and off things, so it was totally inappropriate. They said she "didnt want to get off" Angry i was so mad, she couldnt have got off if she had of tried and it broke my bloody heart. Needless to say, I took her out and found a more suitable nursery where she was treated as dd and not a child who couldnt and wouldnt join in. and as different This was the same group of nurseries (or same teching method) as the one Lottie goes to.

I really hope you work something out Thomcat. You must feel so upset about this :( I wouldnt make any hasty decisions yet about moving Lottie but do have a word and if things dont change i personally would be inclined to move her. Just my opinion though, i know you must be heartbroken {{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}} x

Blu · 06/12/2004 10:09

Oh TC, so sorry I missed this - I feel gutted and boiling with rage at the same time. So so sorry. I know we were all bursting with pride and love at the idea of Lottie in her first play as a sheep.
Part of the problem, I think, is bloody nativity plays in the first place. Often they and other school plays are put together by teachers who have no idea how to use plays / drama to actually empower and facilitate kids, and they just shunt them all over the stage, giving them tight prescriptaive orders as to what to do. These boards are full of parents anxious about threats that their children will be withdrawn because they won't keep still /quiet etc. Well set-up drama wouldn't BE like that! (apols and due respect to teachers struggling valiantly to fit in extra projects like this, and doing a GOOD job).
Then of course the positioning kids like plastic animals is exacerbated if the teachers behave like Lottie's did. I honestly wonder what teachers think is the benefit to the children of that kind of behaviour.

You MUST say something. The chances are that under normal circumstances, the staff do know how to run activities inclusively, with each child empowered to fulfill their own potential, but what happened to Lottie was quite unforgivable.

Weeping now for your bitter upset and Lotties treatment. So, so sorry, Thomcat.

aloha · 06/12/2004 10:24

That's another really good post. I was thinking about Lottie over the w/e and thinking, er, real sheep don't stand up anyway. why would bottom shuffling or simply sitting still be a problem in any way? I remember kids ballet shows that my mum put on, and everyone loved the 'babies' - three-year-olds - at least partly because of the freshness and spontaneity they brought to the stage. Bugger getting the steps 'right'.

Batters · 06/12/2004 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 06/12/2004 11:14

I dropped Lottie of this morning and the 3 teachers all came up to me, and the main teacher and the SENCO said that she had heard I was upset and had been in tears and she assured me, over & over again that Lottie was not singled out for any other reason other than saftey. In the rehersal she had been trodden on and had cried her eyes out. They had never really heard her cry and were so upset they didn't want to risk her getting trampled on again. They therefore took the last minute decision to take out of possible harms way when the children immediatley next to her got up to do their bit. The teacher removed her just before any 'action' and put her back when the child had returned to their place. They were distraught that I had been upset and assured me that this was absolutley not indicitive of every school day but purely a last minute saftey decision. They told me that they don't think of Lottie any differently and would have done the same with any small child who could be slightly injured like that.

They also had her on a chair this morning with a box under her so that she could have her feet flat on something (her feet don't touch the floor when she's in her chair, bless).

They also asked for her to come and spend the whole day with them on Thursday as they have an entertainer coming in and would like her to be there.

So, I guess the short of it is I feel better.
Will feel even better still after Portage have been in tomorrow and they too are able to reassure me that her needs aren't being overly focused on.

A hesitant but deep sigh of relief.
I just hope the Portage come back with good news and can confrim that it's all good, and then I can truly rest assured and put the smile back on my face (but don't worry, won't allow myself to fully take my eye off the ball Smile)

OP posts:
JanH · 06/12/2004 11:19

Oh, TC, that all makes perfect sense! Glad you are feeling OK now Smile

EniDeepMidwinter · 06/12/2004 11:19

oh thomcat thats very reassuring, they all sound lovely there, poor lottie being trodden on though Sad. Hope you feel a bit better about things x E

Original poster
ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 06/12/2004 11:27

Feel bad for coming on here making such a fuss, all your lovely posts and then Monday morning there is a logical explanation. Should have waited but was so gutted at the time that had to turn to mumsnet for a rant, moan, cry etc.
Thanks everyone.

I'll let you know what Portage say anyway.

TC x

OP posts:
Blu · 06/12/2004 12:26

OK! Am breathing more easily alongside you.
I think you were spot on to react as you did - it's brilliant that the staff have actually thought about this and are fully aware of all the issues surrounding what happened - but, in truth, it could have been set up in a way that no-one was in danger of being trampled! Ah well, experience is best gained from what we see in hindsight - onwards and upwards, Lottie!

Original poster
ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 06/12/2004 12:36

Hi Blu, yes you're right but I have to respect that this was a saftely issue and a last minute decision and I do accept that. You live and learn and as long as they do learn then I can't ask much more of them really.

When i saw the box under her chair for her this morning that made me feel much better straight away as well.

I just need Portage to confirm my feelings and I'll sleep well at night again.

OP posts:
geekgrrl · 06/12/2004 13:20

TC what a relief huh?! So glad to hear that it was just them being sensible. :) Sorry you got so upset though. ((hugs))

deegward · 06/12/2004 13:27

Good to get the reason why, they maybe could have told you beforehand, I would have been the same, as would any mommy.

coppertop · 06/12/2004 13:31

I'm glad they gave you an explanation and it's made you feel better. I liked the idea of a little box to rest Lottie's feet on. :)

Ds1 is also going to be a sheep in his school play this week so it looks as though the SN board will have its own little flock. :o

Original poster
ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 06/12/2004 13:37

it would have been good to have been prewarned and I wish that had been possible but it was a last minute decision and with a group of kids to organise and mums & dads piling in I understand they were unable to do so.

Enjoy your son's play Copertop Smile

OP posts:
motherinfestivemood · 06/12/2004 13:51

Oh honey, just saw this thread. Cross, sympathy,lots of love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS Glitter? My two? My blood runs cold at the very thought. You are so much better a mum than me Grin

maomao · 06/12/2004 13:52

I'm relieved that there was a good explanation for what happened, TC.

Original poster
ThomCatsAreNotJustForXmas · 06/12/2004 13:54

LOL at the glitter, what was I saying about living & learning! Grin

OP posts:
DingleAlltheWay · 06/12/2004 14:12

I am so glad that their explanation has made thing a bit clearer, and much more positive TC!Grin I hope your Portage worker can give you even more info to fight away any doubts fro you and Lottie. We all want the best for our children and it is so understandable why you were hurt and concerned.
Give that darling little girl a big hug from me!Grin

MariNativityPlay · 06/12/2004 20:02

Good to hear there was a real reason for this, and that you are feeling better TC.
Top post, Blu. We saw ds' nativity play today, done by a teacher who really knows his stuff, and delightful for everyone, children and parents. Good luck to all forthcoming sheep/angels/shepherds etc!

merrymarthamoo · 06/12/2004 20:49

I'm so glad it wasn't what it appeared to be - but I wish they could have pre-warned you so you hadn't had to fret about it all weekend Sad Very glad to hear you are happier now!

Socci · 06/12/2004 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilentNiteForJess · 07/12/2004 00:24

I'm glad you feel better TC. Have only just caught this thread (not been online for days,, been trying to get my OUassignment in.. Shock) and am now feeling a tad nervous about DS's school play on Thursday, in which he is an angel.. but he thinks he is an aeroplance because he has got all confused over his wings!! Grin When you mention his play to him he sticks out his and makes plane noises! :)

Will keep you guys posted. Have missed you all in last couple of days..

Jess xx

Blu · 07/12/2004 16:24

LOL silentnite, re aeroplanes!

SilentNiteForJess · 07/12/2004 16:39

Crikey.. I should keep the midnight postings to a minimum methinks... have just re-read what I posted last night.. Typo City! {GRIN}

Alex has been off today.. finally succumbed, I assume to DD and DH's sick-bug that they had at the weekend although he's been fine all day. When I went to get him up this morning he was asleep in his bed next to a pile of puke! Feel very guilty when this happens, because he can't say 'Mummy I feel sick!" and so, if he's well (which he was last night!)I assume he is just doing his usually nightly routine and just go to him if I have to. However, DH was IN his bed at midnight.. I said to him "It wasn't a bit wet and lumpy was it??!" Evidently not! :)

Alex still thinks he is a plane in the play tomorrow (and Thurs).. and I have spent some considerable time today telling him about angels and showing him pictures! Ah well!

Jess xx

coppertop · 07/12/2004 18:32

LOL at the little aeroplane! :o

Ds1's debut as a sheep went well. He looked so cute in his little fleecey costume. I was worried that the crowds of parents with cameras might be a bit too much for him but he smiled and sang happily, pausing only to wave at me. :o

I noticed that the teacher had given the sheep their own little carpet tiles to sit on so that no-one invaded ds1's personal space. That little touch made me blub almost as much as the rest of the play did. BlushGrin