Traits in younger sibling

[Sprogonthetyne]

My oldest (5) is diagnosed as autistic and recently I've been noticeing possible traits in my younger child (2) aswell. What I'm struggling with is trying to untangle what's her own inherent behaviour, what's copied from oldest, and what's from living over half her life in lockdown.

I also keep wandering if I'm noticing things more/ making something of nothing due to sibling, but also worrying I'll miss dificulties if they exist but are less extreme then her sibling, because in honest at this stage I'm completely out of touch with what "normal" development should look like.

Would anybody be able to tell me if any of this would concern you in a 2 (nearly 3) year old, with strong family history of autism?

Sensory issues around noise/fans

hates wind and will insist on having hood up for slightest breeze

Hates wereing shoes/socks

Lines up toys (could be copied but sibling finished this stage some time before she started)

Spins, but so does sibling so could be copied

Poor eye contact (could be learned as sibling dislikes eye contact)

Doesn't point, but will bring things or tell you the name of what she wants you to pay attention to/ get

Will not usually talk to people she doesn't know well, completely blanks them, but talks well if she decides to.

Hey OP!

My DS is 2.5yo and I'm fairly confident he isn't autistic.
I don't think most of the things on your list are that unusual.

He hates hand dryers and the blender.

He demands we close the windows when we're going fast in the car and screams "It's cold!" any time the wind blows, even when it's hot.

Went through a phase of never wanting to take socks off.

Lined up toys when younger though doesn't any more.

Won't talk to new people until he's had a good 30 mins or so to warm up to them.

However, he does point and has good eye contact (as do his peers) so these are 2 things that I'd say he's not the same for.

Thanks for replying, I definitely needed the sense check. I the little things I'm noticing are the same kind of behaviours I first noticed with my oldest, but having watched the little things develop into something more with him, it's hard to remember that for 90% of kids they don't actually go on to mean anything.

She can make eye contact, but tends not to, or to make fleeting eye contact then look away while she's talking. But could this be learned behaviour? She plays with her brother (who dose avoid eye contact) all the time, and during lockdown(s) he was the only other kid she saw. Could she be unknowingly following the behaviour he's modeling, as she doesn't know it's atypical?

Coming back to this, as I'm still not decided if I should worry or not. These are the kind of lining up play she has started doing a lot of lately. It's one of the only things she focuses on for long periods of time, she will spend 20+ minutes rearranging it. She does do other play styles, but nothing else holds her attention for nearly as long, or she will need an adult to keep her interested, whereas this she dose by herself.

Hi OP,

I feel for you and your concerns as I am in a similar position, I have a 8 year old son who is autistic and a 1 year old who has been put on the waiting list to be evaluated. I would say that you should consider the pattern of your child’s behaviour in regards to change and consistency. My son regressed a little over 1, but never had brilliant eye contact but was affectionate, my 1 year old on the other hand has very poor eye contact, and will not let me hold her all that much, does not cuddle and doesn’t really respond to smiles. Although they are quite different, both children have always had ‘signs’ and most noticeable was their social interactions. My son has always had repetitive and restricted play so would only line up things and not doing anything else, my 1 year old cannot play at all at the moment, just bangs things. Can your little one play in the typical way? Can they use their imagination? What are they like with other children? Also does she use her speech to communicate with you and others. Children do unusual behaviour all the time, I think it’s important to look at how consistent the behaviour is and if their development has somewhat stopped or decreased in terms of social interaction and things like that. At age 18-36 months my sons needs were more obvious and really played in his own world, he seemed much more social as a baby but babies giggle at themselves all the time so it seems like they are being sociable because they seem bubbly so you may miss the lack of eye contact. Also think about her receptive language, how much does she understand because this is important too. I hope this helps you somewhat.

She does play, but not very complex or imaginative games. She will run round with other kids but only basic chasing, never narrative play like "I'm a super hero & chasing a baddy". She enjoys puzzles and drawing (scribbling) type structured activitie or climbing, sliding, swings type playground play.

She has some imagination play, but it's usually the same short script over and over. Eg. At the pool the other day she used a watering can to fill a bucket and told me to drink my orange juice. But then she did the same thing 20 times over, without evolving the game at all.

Talking is very hit and miss. She is capable of holding conversation, and has good vocabulary and sentences use, but often she doesn't use it, to the extent I'd call selective mutism in an older child, but could just be a toddler thing. Sometimes it's linked to who's talking, but it also seems to be situational, and she communicates a lot less in busy places (both outgoing and receptive) so possibly linked to sensory processing?

If relevant, her brother's profile is close to what would have previously been called aspergers, with relatively strong communication and academics, but more struggles linked to sensory overload, routine and socialising. Although they are different in some ways, there's also a lot of similarities, so she could be following a similar trajectory (or just be copying a lot)

I would say it wouldn't harm to talk to a professional about your worries, I don't know where your based but here in England, I think a good place to start is HV or if she attends nursery ask them to observe but to be honest they can only tell you about her behaviour in comparison to her age group. I had worries about my middle child even though she literally hit all of her milestones by 9 months but she was copying her brothers behaviour, but I dont think eye contact can be mimicked and she always had great eye contact. I think I was like you, out of touch with what typical development looked like! You obviously can see some 'signs' of aspergers, and your probably more aware of that profile than me, as I think my son would have been diagnosed with 'classic autism' back in the day. I would also go with your instincts, the worries I had for my first daughter were short lived, and with my second daughter I have felt this way for months before seeing professionals and they referred her straight away after watching her. If you have been concerned for a long while then, or want to wait a couple of months I don't think it would hurt, but if your still concerned look at getting an assessment as the waiting lists are longer after they reach 5 for a lot of people and the obvious one, to get her the additional support she would need.

Both my boys liked to line things up. One is very much not autistic and the other one very much is.

The NT one used to line all his matchbox cars up from one side of the living room to the other and could never be persuaded to roll them or drive them. Just a quirk.

Early signs with my autistic one were total lack of eye contact and sensory things like total fascination with trees blowing in the wind.

So I have two children who are both autistic but very different. My eldest is more anxious/routine/sensitive to sounds/socially awkward/demand avoidance but not much else. But my youngest has more sensory issues/communication delays/rigid play ideas etc. Because you already have one child on the spectrum I would be looking at behaviours that you feel are concerning. Based on what you’ve listed I would definitely think there’s some cause for concern. Speak to your health visitor about perhaps having the MCHAT screening and if there’s concerns to put in a referral for you. Wait times are shocking right now so I would definitely try and see even if it turns out she’s not autistic.