Primary school auties thread 9 - spring / summer 2022.

[danni0509]

Thread 9.

Links to previous threads below.

For the parents / carers of children with additional needs, most of us have asd / adhd children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8

I studied History with the OU a few years ago. I'd love to go back and study environmental science but now the fees are so much higher, its difficult to justify. I would love to do it though.

Yeah I'm doing it through the OU, it's great to be able to do all the work remotely and at my own speed. Because I already have a degree in another subject (even though it was about a million years ago) I could skip the first year completely which reduced the price a bit.

They have loads of free courses open, worth looking to see if there are some art history related ones.

Maybe if ds was in school liv. I chance at the moment.

Sorry, no chance

Ah yes, of course open. Hopefully he'll settle in more next term.

DH did bedtime as I went to an online talk. DS went to sleep then woke up coughing asking for me. I have been up. I have pretended to sleep. I have left him quietly perusing a book with a torch. I can, however, still hear that he is up...

Hope he went to sleep in the end Susan.

danni sending good vibes your way for the break. Ds finishes today and goes back on the 20th.

Thanks open

Ds school do my head in with how long they have off, it was 7 weeks in summer, ds old mainstream changed the terms just before he left so they only have 4 weeks off in summer and distributed the other weeks to other months. I think if a mainstream can do that, why not a specialist. It makes more sense to me for a specialist to have shorter holidays for the kids routine and for the parents sanity.

I’m ok with the 1 weekers, it’s the 3 weeks at Xmas and Easter and 7 weeks in the summer. Just drags on and on and we can’t do many activities due to ds. Such long hours to fill when he’s awake 16/17 hours out of 24. I feel ok when he’s in school but during half term I feel depressed!

A special school I know of only has 1 week summer holiday to not mess up the kids routines!

I managed to sort my medication, 8am. I said to ds I need my medication, like you take your adhd medication (he knows now that i lace his drink) so it’s tough that you don’t want me to use my phone, but I HAVE to, and no amount of kicking off will stop it, he kicked me a few times and was hitting me with pillows and gobbing off and ramming me with his head like he was some sort of fucking bull but I managed just about to phone the pharmacy and dr surgery. Hopefully I can go out later today and grab it when it’s done.

Who knew you would need to have a military operation just to make a 60 second phone call.

susan ds had a torch and Dh gave him it in his bedroom to lay down with and project it onto the ceiling, it was a space one, well ds shouted mum my eyes have gone fuzzy. Goes up and he’s been laid in bed shining the thing into his eyeballs for god knows how long. It went missing into my wardrobe after that.

What time did he end up going to sleep? Was your pcrs negative? X

danni ds is not allowed torches because he looks at the light. The LED ones are horrible. Glad you got meds sorted.

We're luckier but even with DD it would be hard to do my job the way I used to. Even things like when she was having shoe problems and it was taking an hour or so to get her in most mornings - even that would have really sunk me with the way I used to work. I just feel lucky to be an older parent and have some savings so I can afford to reduce my hours the last year and have good childcare before that.

I'm thinking of a career change myself, but not sure what to yet! I'd like to do something in relation to autism (I'm studying an online Cache Level 2 at the moment in "Understanding Autism" which I think is effectively like a GCSE in autism! and enjoying it, although it's a bit more time consuming than it should be because I'm slightly obsessive and keep getting distracted with reading around too much). I'm hoping I can finish the Second unit (of 6) before Easter, and then get the rest done once the kids are back at school before summer.

I don't know if I can really take on a job in autism while still doing school runs etc. but it should at least give me a bit of broader knowledge to back up doing some volunteering in the next few years, and then when the kids are a bit older I could look into opportunities to actually get some paid work in the area.

I've also finally booked my own assessment (non-clinical as I don't need a Dx and don't want to clog up waiting lists and slow down anybody who does need one). I just feel I'm wasting too much brain space wondering if I am autistic or not. Hopefully if somebody I trust gives me an answer it will help me switch off the constant rumination.

Oooo interesting Light! What presentation do you have that you feel you may be on the spectrum?

Let me know how you get on @LightTripper. I'm pretty sure I'm asd pda too but don't know how much to bother taking it further but like you say, the validation and emptying of brain space keep thinking about it might be life changing.

It's a mix of sensory/social/communication stuff really @carriebradshawwithlessshoes. In short, just how many similarities I see between myself and DD (or even things she can do easily that I struggle with - though also vice versa!).

It really doesn't trouble me now as I no longer have to wear things I can't tolerate, I found a little career niche full of a lot of other nerds/geeks that suits me OK, a family (albeit not a conventional one) and a great group of friends but it took me a long time to get there, and childhood/teenage years/my 20s were quite hard work looking back, while I figured out who I was and what worked for me (but maybe that's just the human experience?). So I've gone for assessment rather than Dx. I'm not sure it will really make a difference to how I feel (i.e. confused) but it seems worth a try!

I will definitely let you know @SusanStoHelitsPoker. As you say, what I'm hoping for is exactly freeing up of brain space! Not sure if that is really realistic but I'm giving it a try.

We have broken up for Easter here today.
As an eggstra special surprise, I have tested pos on lft after neg pcrs last weekend!! Bye bye York trip sob!!

Oh no Susan hope you don't feel too bad with it! Sorry about the York trip.

Light the course sounds great. I hope that the assessment goes well. When do you think you will find out?

We've broken up too, have absolutely no plans for the holidays, which is probably good as my car decided to pack it in yesterday. Going to try and get someone to look at it next week. Hoping it's not going to be an expensive fix.

Oh no Susan, hope you are ok!

Yes, it’s funny Light, isn’t it… life’s rich tapestry as my old boss used to say. My boss retired on fri, we have worked together for 17 years and I was thinking about how much life has changed during that time and as light says, struggling with aspects of life that did come together eventually even if not in the way you think! Like dimples I left my first legal job hating it early 30s, very definitely single, enough dismal liaisons romantically behind me to write a book (several), I bought the plane ticket too dimples! That’s funny. Gave up on thoughts of relationships then had an odd chance meeting with DH.

I take my hat off to those of you who are studying or thinking of it! My brains frozen in that regard now I feel!

That was actually several books not several liaisons 😂😂😂😂

Oh no Susan, how unlucky.

Liv hope that your car can be fixed cheaply.

Light, I know what you mean about it taking up headspace. I hope that you get the answers that you are looking for.

Danni I hope that you managed to get your medication. I take my hat off to you - it must be exhausting, all that work for a short phone call.

When I collected DD from nursery yesterday they said that she had been hitting and shoving the other children all day without any provocation from them. I should arrange a meeting with them to discuss it - can hardly bring myself to. DS is taking medication well and no sign of any side effects yet...It is a beautiful sunny morning and I want to go for a walk but persuading DS to leave the house is going to be a challenge

Carrie these books sound intriguing!

I’ll not called Carrie Bradshaw just for my shoes Dimples!! 😆😆😆😆

Tricky dimples. No doubt at least some of it is learned behaviour. Hopefully over the next year she settles down.

danni glad you got your meds sorted.

carrie I hope ds’ sleep has settled down.

We had a strange night. Ds woke at 3:30 with his stuffy nose thing. Insistent that he wanted to go downstairs even though his eyes were half shut. Then he decided to get back into bed and went back to sleep about 4:45 (took a while) until 7am. The cat didn’t have a clue what was going on so she was wandering around for a couple of hours 🙄

Susan sorry about your trip. I hope you’re feeling ok.

My assessment isn't until mid June. We're actually going on holiday the day after which may be a great idea or a terrible idea depending on how it goes I suppose (I think they will tell me what they conclude on the day, as it's just written responses to a questionnaire + interview) - though I'm sure it will take a while to get the written report.

My Dad did his degree through OU when he retired. He was lucky that he started just before the fees went up and they grandfathered them for the duration of his course. He got completely addicted to studying - went on to do a Masters and now PhD. I can see how that can happen but you definitely need some mental energy. A GCSE over ~5-6 months feels about right for me at the moment. Maybe I'll have the energy for more when I'm working less!

@carriebradshawwithlessshoes given you have written several books you would definitely be able to study! But I can imagine writing books is more rewarding and productive so the incentive might not be there. Plus, this bit of life is particularly intense - we can only do what we can do.