Do you ever wish

[mummy2aaron]

that someone would take your violent and aggressive child away before he either kills a sibling, wrecks your marraage, or sends you into a padded cell?

Oh Go yes!!!!!!!!!!! Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!!!

Mine is currently paddying in his (secure) bedroom; had to put him in there. He is on a rampage. DD's hair has been repeatedly yanked by the root; she is in real pain still and it was an hour ago. He rammed a hairbrush into DH's face at point blank range and my upper arms are still throbbing and smarting where he pinched and pinched me until tears ran down my face while I was trying to wrestle his coat onto him earlier. I'll have a lovely new crop of bruises tomorrow and the last lot haven't faded yet. Last straw was a plate banged into my face. I picked him up (back protesting) and dumped him in his room. Not for "time out" as that doesn't work/he doesn't get it, it was just to GET RID OF HIM!

Sometimes, for one second, although becoming more frequent, I just want to drop him off somewhere for someone else to look after, to give us all our lives back. What a hateful mother than makes me. And yet soc services think we "cope beautiully" and give us the bare minimum of support.

I would go mad without you SN lot to share with. I really really would.

What has yours done today M2A? And how old is he/she? (((((supportive hugs))))))

(That should be GOD - I'll blame him! - not go!)

He is 5 in 6 weeks and so strong, his sister is so intimidated by him she canlt speak we have had salt appointments and she comes on but when he is at home at weekend or hols she clams up, my 8 year old spends most of his time either playing out or in his room so he doesnt come into contact with him because he just hits bites and kicks. He doesnt sleep and is very loud he has today broken his bed reduced my grandmother to tears and had his sister screaming for an hour, i just want a wee on my own - a full nights sleep and time to play with dd and reassure her. Our GP has suggested we get some kind of medication to calm him down but in view of his age apparently this is not an option. The impact on the rest of us doesnt seem to matter. We too apparently 'cope well' whatever happened to life - this is barely existing.

I do appreciate it isn't his fault but it just gets too hard at times. I have considered leaving or even suicide but that was a very brief thought and i have a lot to live for.

Thanks for answering. xxxxxxx

Oh M2A I SO feel for you! Have you "spoken" to Yurt on here? She is a wealth of good info and advice with lots of experience. And have you asked 2shoes for an invite to the Time To Rant site?

My DS's sibs also give DS a wide berth, but at miserable occasions like the Christmas holidays (when you can't even get out in the sunshine) it' the absolute worst. No respite either as the carers need their hols too. DH and I feel at the end of our tether and depressed too about "new year".. which is just the start of one more hellish one probably worst than the last!! They ususally are!

Do you get respite care?

Have you asked your paedtrician for Melatonin for night times? Didn't make much different to DS (he's 7) but lots on here benefit from it.

Yes he has Melatonin and it gets him to sleep a treat but it doesnt last long he can be up after a couple of hours an raring to go again. I just wish he could be calmed down iyswim he would be so much easier if to cope with if it wasnt constant - just episodes.

i didn't think there was an age restriction on Melatonin, i would be asking for it if i were in your shoes, you need a break, can you get any respite? or direct payments?

can he have a slow release Melatonin? if one exists

I havent been on ttr for ages tbh i should i think, i had problems with getting on and got out of the habit.

no respite or dp the support has been non existant since he started school it was fab just after the dx. they cant cope with him there and keep sending him home. slow release melatonin is a great idea i will look into that.

Me too M2A re TTR. And 2shoes is having problems getting me back in I think.. I'm not getting what she's sending me

Ask for a Child In Need meeting? Don't balk at the name.. it doesn't mean child at risk or anything like that.. everyone who deals with DS will be invited (or to write a report if they can't attend), and YOU attend too (not like with soc services panel meetings that parents don't get to go to! ) and it may help gets some things sorted. You clearly NEED are are ENTITLED to respite care and if home based carers can't handle him, then a centre could.

Who do I approach for that? I will do it first thing.

Your social worker. Tell you really need this to happen as you are having real problems coping with things the way they are.

WE don;t have a social worker so do i just ring social services.

you need to speak to the children with disabilities social work team, you should talk to the duty officer who will hide your file in a drawer sort it for you.

Yes! Tell the duty social worker that you get put through to that you need a visit urgently

now that was spooky shiny note the times of both our last posts

last time we saw a sw she was a student and wound me up so much that i complained and they signed us off - will that go against us

i hope it wouldn't, there are lots of very lovely SW but some that are not so good.
guess what job i did

i hope i get someone like you then oj

thanks, i think it is helpful if you get a SW who has lived sn's as opposed to read a few books and done a bit of training.

Hate to say it but yes- baording has been considered

But in my heart I know I couldn't bear it, it is only a part of it (read the latest on TTR and add 7 physical assaults today alone!).

Bloody ahrd isn't it?

We by our own melatonin btw, and we were refused DP's as I am too competent a aprent to require SW support and they won't accept ds's as disability workload

oh peachy harder for you as you are pg too. i know i couldnt bear for jack to go but i feel like i just can't take anymore. i will make some calls tomorrow and see of i can get any help. dh is back at work tomorrow and mum is ill again.