Thank you both. Yes, they are great positives, Open… silly stuff like he sat down to eat exactly what we did for Xmas lunch and enjoyed it (including a lobster and prawn cocktail etc etc!). And he loves being with family all that stuff. That’s all ok.
Inquisitiveness… I probably can’t explain v well but my box example was one eg. So DD would think gosh, what is it?? She would be poking it, trying to move it, persuading me to tell her what it was. I don’t think it would occur to DS, what is in there??
When we are out I may say DD look at that!!!! And point. Before she had even looked she would be on tenterhooks thinking what?! What have you seen mummy? DS is terrible at following a point. So, silly example, we are out and I say look! And point at a silly scarecrow in a field. DD would look, laugh, say something. DS would look probably past my finger and I’d see him looking at, I don’t know, some cars driving past on the road say. With a solemn expression, no oooo! No ahh that’s funny! When we holiday in Devon we go through lots of woods, DD used to shout ‘tree tunnel!!’ Where trees meet over the top and we would drive through. I doubt DS would even notice and if he did, his expression would indicate, it’s a tree. So what?
No I don’t think he cares at all how things work. When I get him to sit down to show him something he often cries because I’m detaining him from doing what he wants… running around jumping on our gym ball for eg.
Salts have ALWAYS given up on him because they get a box of toys with a lid on and say oooo!!! What’s in here!!!! What could it be???!!! Something that bites???!!!! Something that says moooo??! And they are all happy and excited and DS looks at them coldly, doesn’t even look at their box and walks off. I spent most of the hour with the last one trying to get him to not open the door to get out!! And they say ok, maybe not the box… I’ll get something he’s really motivated by, excited by… she’ll I get a balloon (jeez this was the last Salt too.) she would blow it up and hold it in the air all excited and say DS!! My balloon is going to fly!!! Oooo ready, steady…….!!! And then let go.
DS would give her (not the balloon!) the hard stare and not even track it moving through the air… he would just behave like she had done nothing and walk to the door.
I think they all felt a bit daft and shortly after would not want to work with him any more.
Don’t get me wrong, he is actually very expressive for ex when I take him to the pool you know that bit where you often can see the pool before you go to the changing rooms, he’s jumping up and down and grinning and pulling me. He was like that with the panto … lots of shared attention looking back and forth and the same with family members. I once said to an aba tutor actually, he’s only interested in experiences (of his choice) and people but not things, not objects. I’d stand by that now. But I’m not sure he grasps concepts and Xmas is a lot about that, concepts… naughty list, good list. And so on.
Does any of that make sense?!