toilet training

[fensmum]

Hi everyone,this is my first post so please forgive any mistakes! My lovely little boy is 3 years old and has Autisum and delayed learning.Do you have any tips for trying to get him out of nappies before school?Thanks for your time

Hi fensmum,

Welcome to mumsnet, im sure you will find this board extemley informative i know i certainly have.

Im not sure about the potty training as i havent had any problems with my two girls my first daughter (5) also has ASD.

I just wanted to say hi and BUMP this up for you

Hi fensmum, you may find the replies to "potty training a nonverbal 3 yr old" about 15 threads before this one helpful. Sorry don't know how to do the link! The advice on the thread is better than I could give. From my own experience I would say don't start too early (I tried before Ds had any real awareness because he was 3) and yes I also didnt bother with the potty- Ds was too big really and the child seat on the loo was more comfy! Ds liked sitting on the loo whilst I agitated the bubbles in the bath until he got the idea. Hope that helps, Magso

Hi I found the information here very informative though am afraid to say we are still a million miles away from getting my DS with global delay out of nappies as it's a slow process-have now progressed to him sitting on the toilet for up to 30secs! I'd second not starting to early, thinking about where my ds is developmentally was more useful thank using his age. good luck!

Hi fensmum, you don't say to what extent your boy is verbal. I left training my son who has high functioning autism and speech delay until he was 3.5 and it all came together very quickly. At 3, he showed no interest at all and I was wondering how I was ever going to get him out of nappies.

One tip is if you have a change late in the day, try putting him in pants every now and again and see if he notices if he wets himself. My boy went from not batting an eyelid the first few times I tried it, to shouting "oh no, wee!" a few months later and that's how I knew it was worth starting the training.

The info from TEACCH looks really interesting. One of the mums I worked with said that she put on pants under the nappy to see if her lo realised (and was bothered) when he was wet without the extra hassle of more washing, cleaning the floor, etc etc.

Another mum found that her older boy with autism (and learning difficulties) needed telling that he had to 'wee in the water.' Before that he would go through all the steps and just sit there without realising what he was expected to do.

All children are such individuals some hate the feeling of being wet / dirty whilst others don't seem too concerned. I have to agree that toilet training is often about being lucky and picking the right time rather than some 'special tricks'.

It can be really hard to know when they are 'ready' but things like having some way of telling you they need to go (gesture, symbol, word, etc). Being dry for longer periods. Being bothered that they are wet / dirt. All play a part. I have found that with children with autism it is much harder to 'know when they are ready' than for other children with learning difficulties. There are lots of social, sensory and language issues surrounding toilet training and these are often the areas where children with autism have the most difficulty.

I know it sounds hard but try not to get too worried about the whole thing.

I taught my autistic son to use the toilet but it is quite a long process and needed me to have a lot of patience. I started by putting him on the loo, on a disney loo seat, while I ran the bath. I gave him books, DVDs, lots of stuff to look at to make it a fun experience. I even put posters up around the loo of his fave characters. Then if I knew a poo or wee was due, I whizzed him onto loo, and if even a tiny bit went in I immediately gave him a choc into his mouth (the immediacy is key, so he gets the link). Then I would put him on loo two hours after a drink, or after a meal, and wait outside. I spent a lot of time outside! Eventually the chocs worked, and one day he said no when offered a choc, as if to say I don't need that anymore. It took around 4 months. I never put a nappy on again, so there were accidents, and to be honest it took over everyone's lives for that time, but it's worth it now - and he is actually better at not having accidents than his non-autistic siblings now!

By the way, if he had an accident I would immediately shower him off in bath. It was necessary anyway, but actually it served as a deterrent from doing it as he ended up having lots of showers which he is not that keen on!