Primary school auties : spring 2021 and beyond - thread 6

[danni0509]

Hi. New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Everyone welcome x

I have absolutely no idea where that little sign has come from in between my emojis.
Was supposed to be a waving woman.

Ds starts his new special school in may. (7 weeks time!)

He’s going to do 2 weeks part time then full time from the 3rd week.

Oh god! now I have a date im absolutely shitting myself.

And I feel so sorry for him that he doesn’t know what’s coming and he’s got to travel to and from etc etc

And sad that that’s the end of mainstream (although I know he’s got to leave)

He’s not doing any settling in sessions though because of covid, he’s got to have video calls and 2 weeks part time instead and they are sending him a book out and the class teacher will call me to speak to me.

Now I have to apply for school transport etc

Arghh!

danni that’s fantastic news

So only 5 weeks of rubbish school then good riddance.

Open I can just picture his little face the first day when he’s in the classroom alongside other CHILDREN he won’t know what is going on! He literally has zero contact with anyone at school apart from the adults. He even does pe separate now the pe teacher comes and gives him a 1-1 session in the hall.

I’m nervous but excited at the same time!

danni it’s going to be amazing for him. I know you’re feeling nervous now but I bet within a couple of months you’re going to be so glad that you pushed for this. You’re going to have more time and you’re not going to be worried about what each day will bring and hopefully you will see positive changes in him

Ds woke up at 12:30 last night with a sore throat. I managed to persuade him back to bed after half an hour and he went back to sleep at 2:30, still up just after 5:30 🤣

dimples re. 5am, I’ve just got used to it. It doesn’t bother me too much any more, especially now it’s getting lighter. It’s worse if he’s up in the night and you don’t get a good stretch of sleep. Thankfully that’s not too common.

That's totally amazing news @danni0509 well done!! I see what you mean about being nervous for him but I reckon it'll be great for him. My DS is now 121 separated for most of the day since all the other kids came back. I have a progress review soon and reading his risk management plan has been sobering. Every moment of school is managed as he just can't cope otherwise. I really hope other people will see how hard Ms is for him.
@openupmyeagereyes my DS has been waking up more in the night and earlier in the morning lately. Last night he woke up at half midnight too (DH woke us all up I think with his incredibly loud snoring) and I had to get in his bed, I fell asleep till 3am and woke up all still so got into my bed, then 5.45am DS came in fresh faced and ready to go! Blaze on the kindle distracted him for a bit but the energy!!

MrsDuBeke do they get funding for 1:1 for him? Hopefully your review will be a useful ‘next steps’ meeting. Sorry you had a bad night too. Thankfully dh got up with ds here as I got up with him in the night.

@dimples76 I want a specialist or a very small independent mainstream but I don't think the latter would take her because we have had behavioural issues. Even though they wouldn't have occurred in a small setting

@MrsDuBeke good luck, will keep it all crossed for you too. Yours sounds in a very similar position to mine.

We had the EP assessment today (LA decided August's was no good...) and it was grim hearing how bad things are. I sort of had it in my head that on a good day she is just like the others but she is very markedly different now even when she is having an amazing day. She parallel learns as she can't engage with the class learning. Classroom is on her terms. She is the highest funded child out of the 600 odd there and one of two that school won't contemplate having on site without a 1-1 as she just can't manage it even on a good day. Her TA described it as "even when her behaviours are good they are very clearly atypical".

Fingers crossed the point has been made now!

Review was good but our kids sound very similar @Mumofsend! School do receive 121 funding full time for him as he needs this level if support to access any type of learning. At least his ehcp recognises this but la still insist Ms can meet needs. School are supportive and are trying but he is ND and is different to the other kids. We all want special provision but it's like banging against a beaurocratic wall!

That is great news on the new school @danni0509!! I'm sure there will be some wobbles as he settles in, but finally a school that actually wants him and knows how to include him..... very exciting!!

Great news Danni!
MumofSend and MrsDubeke* hope that you make some progress with your LAs soon.
DS ran out of in front of a car today as we left school. I am feeling v anxious about how I can keep him safe.

Oh @dimples76 my DS has no sense of road safety and I know the anxiety! I can't let go of his hand even to close the car door because he is prone to run. DH and I are so used to high levels of management and then I see toddlers on their way to preschool walking next to parent without needing to hold hands or on scooters or bikes following instructions safely, and I feel a pang because DS just couldn't do that safely. I hope you're OK, big breaths and hugs. Social story might help, always holding a hand, maybe get school to talk generally about road safety?

Oh dimples I hope you are ok, so scary. What did he say about it later?

Well he doesn't seem to have taken much from the incident other than doing an impression of how I screamed his name. DS just started talking to another parent we vaguely know about her dogs. I was trying to persuade him to end the conversation and we were weaving through other parents as we approached the road. I was telling him to hold onto the pushchair when he ran. My main challenge with DS at the moment is that he is so unpredictable. He has only done this once before and it was a couple of years ago. I'm going to put DD in the backpack tomorrow so I have both hands free for DS.

I accidentally posted this in S&B

The irony of it being world sleep day. Ds has been awake since 3:30 again

I don't understand school logic. They responded ridiculously harshly after DD's hysterical under the table incident. Effectively said they weren't prepared to keep her a moment longer than they had to. Made it very clear how she was making her 1-1 want to quit etc. Put her on a part time timetable. She didn't hurt anyone. She literally was just hysterical under a table.

Theres another boy in her class, throws chairs, spits at children, kicks hits and bites the other children. I'm good friends with his mum. The school haven't responded anywhere near as harshly despite repeated incidents. Both children are autistic, both children clearly not in the correct school. I just don't understand why the approaches have been so different.

No idea why they treat the two children differently mum of send, there is no other child like ds in his school so can’t comment on that although ds sounds like the boy in your description but the school don’t let us off like they are with the other mum. Did you say her review is end of this month? Maybe ask the la to send your caseworker along to it, you can request this as I have done before.

Open sorry about another early morning.

I spoke to ds la co ordinator yesterday teatime shes sending me the application through to apply for his transport, he automatically gets 1-1 assistant in the back with him as he’s under 12, over 12 you have to have evidence he needs 1-1 transport assistance, I’m fairly sure that will be fine but it’s a 5 years away yet so won’t think about that for now. I need to let transport know he needs a harness too. She said is he still full days at x I said yes but the specialist teacher left and she said yes I’m aware of that ‘what was she expecting with an SEN child’ so just cements my belief that he drove her out. Anyway whatever she’s pretty much wasted 6 years training to be an SN teacher if she can’t hack the behaviour of 1 single SN child, imagine having a class of them.

I phoned and told ds school the date of his last day, my mum said when you put the phone down they would of been running up and down the corridor doing cartwheels. Wouldn’t actually suprise me.

Today all the children had to dress up as keyworkers for red nose day I sent ds as a surgeon, his costume was ace! Log on to tapestry for this weeks bullshit celebration assembly I don’t know why I torture myself watching but I still do and all 9 classes for the infants on there all in their costumes, ds not in his class photo, SHOCK.

His teacher came out at the end of the day, I really struggle to be arsed to even talk to her. I really have to force myself. Can’t bare how they facilitate it all.

Sorry forgot to add the la are still paying his current school that extra money for drafting in additional staff! The additional staff that already work for them. How have they drafted them in?

Few more weeks...

I'm not surprised you're fed up with them danni. Great news about the new school though!

Mumofsend it's very unfair of them to do that. I do feel a bit like sometimes teachers take against certain children. The teacher that had ds in the first year of reception couldn't stand him, you could just tell.

Sorry about the early morning open. If it makes you feel any better ds has been having lots of late nights. Demanding to watch tv at 11.30pm! Ugh

Very scary dimples, I hope pick up went better today. Have you thought about getting a buggy board. They say they are only for small kids but both mine use it without any problems and I seem to remover you saying your ds was quite light. It makes it easier to contain them?

Glad the review was ok mrsdubeke.

We've had a couple of evenings of challenging behaviour. I think mostly due to tiredness from being up late as well as the change of being back in school.
What was quite amazing is after a quite violent meltdown (throwing chairs and pots around the kitchen) we read 'the colour monster' (I think it was one of your recommendations light) and ds explained how he was feeling by pointing at the emotions. Feels like quite a breakthrough really!
Quite glad it's the weekend now and I don't have to bribe anyone into school tomorrow!

@danni0509 I genuinely have no issues with the little boy, mum is a bit oblivious that perhaps it isn't the right setting. I just can't grasp why they've practically booted DD out yet aren't treating him the same. Its hard not to compare or take it personally sometimes.

Caseworker is coming as we are looking to change placement.

@livpotter I still remember the teacher that clearly couldn't stand me in year 4. She wrote in my report that she had clearly wasted a year teaching me as I appeared to think I knew everything and with my attitude I wouldn't get far in the real world. I was 8

And DD and said little boy did a runner together today! They run rings around the 1-1s when they get together.

Dimples sorry I missed you off, hope today went better with school and no more incidents. Like mrs dubeke I have to have hold of ds even when I open the car door, I have to do everything 1 handed and have him with the other hand, he often shouts stop breaking my arm 😳 drama queen! I have to hold him firmly or he legs it at any opportunity. We had a social story from school about road safety and holding hands near the road etc, not that it makes the blindest bit of difference to ds but may be useful for your boy x

I’ll look at that book liv, not heard of it. Hope you have a calm weekend x

Mum of send, school need to really spell it out at that la meeting but by the sounds of it that’s what they are planning to do anyway but works in your favour as you want to move her and so do they. It’s roughly what happened with ds, once the senco was ringing send officer daily and emailing them daily incident logs the send officer said oh we didn’t realise it was this bad. Good luck anyway x

Ds wrote his first sentences independently at tea time. Well at home, not sure if he does at school they never tell me.

He was drawing, I was tidying up he said mum I wrote you a note.

He had wrote me two,

get my red nose plese mummy

And

Ice pops and appel plese mummy.

So he wanted me to get him his red nose from school and an apple and an ice Lolly.

He never writes things like that. More drawings of things with words but not actual sentences!

That's so cruel mumofsend! I remember having an awful teacher at school, who made me stand up in front of the class while she ripped up my homework in front of everyone. I think I was about 6! Some people just shouldn't be teachers. Having said that it was the 80s so a bit more like the Wild West!

Brilliant job on your ds writing notes danni!!