Primary school auties : spring 2021 and beyond - thread 6

[danni0509]

Hi. New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Everyone welcome x

I thought that too open, like for a moment in time he took into account what I could be thinking! Bless him.

Hope your ds has been ok today x

He’s been fine today, calm. Just refusing to go to school!

I think he may go tomorrow.

Magrat so glad to hear that you enjoyed your book club.

Open good news re calmness. Hope that you can get him into school tomorrow.

Danni I agree about the Iceland comment - that is way beyond my DS who refuses to accept that words can have more than one meaning/there are alternative words for the same thing. Just now on the way to collect DD we have been squabbling (unfortunately that is the best word to describe our exchange) about the word 'right'. Foolishly I asked if he wanted to go left or right and then a moment later I used the word tight in a different context - cue much screaming from DS. I am tired

Wow, I've missed a lot in a few days! Sorry everyone is having a stressful time. Danni: that school seems weird, the teacher always impresses me from what you write but, as you say, the overall management and head just seem to want a quiet life like his old school. Still, having a teacher who cares is worth something, and hopefully the meds work out for him so he can make a fresh start in September.

I agree the Iceland comment indicates a pro-active theory of mind.

I'm afraid I really don't know much about OT/sensory needs! DD is much more of a sensory avoider than a sensory seeker (and partiuclarly proprioception, interoception, smell, and only to a lesser extent touch/noise which I think make lots of kids' lives really hard). So with her it's always about building confidence and giving her a little push to try things (but only if we think she can actually do them so she gets positive feedback).

I've found this OT online pretty good for sensory sensitive stuff - but may have some good stuff for sensory seekers too?
www.instagram.com/theotbutterfly/?hl=en

danni I just saw this on Instagram. Might be an idea you can work on gradually over the summer.
www.instagram.com/p/CQv6YnHs1dz/?utm_medium=copy_link

I read your stories often and have chatted to some of you on other threads but just to say I’m watching this avidly! DS in a nutshell asked to leave MS because of his impulsiveness and constant moving/ poor attention/ grabbing things/ running off. They say they have tried everything and do not know what to do. At all. But as Danni said he cannot learn when he is in that heightened state. Keep posting! Your posts are often so helpful for lurkers like me who read but don’t post 😁

Ds refusing to go in again today. He’s been in two hours this week!

Thanks open, I don’t have any social media accounts at all so I miss a lot unless I actively search for stuff, I’ll maybe set a fake Instagram account up under a Mrs J smith or something I do search Pinterest quite often. Sorry ds hasn’t gone in again! What a nightmare for you.

Hi Carrie nice to hear from you. You should post more x

Ds head teacher emailed me yesterday to say young minds matter had been in touch and the physcologist has a call booked with ds class teacher next week, which is good. Also she gave me her mobile number and said anytime in the school holidays I need any support to phone which I thought was nice (but then at the same time, I thought but they cut him to 2 hours so they don’t really care how I’m coping with lack of respite as it’s obvious from what I say to them that I only send him for a break and not an education 😂) but anyway.

I’m so greedy, need to sort myself out, I’ve just been to home bargains for a wonder around and bought some cakes amongst other shit I don’t need, I intended on having 2, saving 2 for Dh & same for ds. I ate 5 and really had to stop myself eating the last one I saved for ds. I’m awol with dieting at the minute but I’m getting fatter by the day.

danni I’m sure it’s the stress. Give yourself a break

I really like Instagram, there’s so many informative accounts to follow. I don’t post anything but I have a thousand screen shots 🤣

I just love you saved the last cake for ds Danni not DH!!! 🤣🤣🤣. I’d have had them all…once I start….

Danni I think that you should have eaten the 6th one to hide the evidence. I keep trying to lose weight but I feel so tired at the moment and snack in the hope of getting myself going again.

"Open sorry that he wouldn't go in. Carrie* come and join us. I have just started looking at special school options. Seems v limited in my large (geographically) county. There is a primary with enhanced provision for speech & language and ASD which looks good but as DS doesn't have a speech problem and we're still waiting on ASD assessment it's not possible at the moment.

I had my parent session with the psychologist today. I kept crying. To give you a flavour of the questions she asked what I would write on my Mum's gravestone. I think that it will be really useful as it will help them help me work with DS. She said that my attachment style is secure with slightly avoidant tendancies which means that I can struggle with rejection. She said that they will pre-warn me of any activities where I may want to withdraw but need to be very present. I am feeling wiped out but hopeful that we may have found the right place to help

They go bloody deep don’t they dimples. Glad you survived it! Hopefully you can access all the help for ds you need. The psychologist appointment I had for ds was really intrusive. But she didn’t ask me any questions about a gravestone I bet it was one of those appointments you think thank fuck that’s over!

And I won’t lie I ate the last cake and binned the box, ds has got a Cadbury twin pot for after his tea so I don’t feel so bad.

dimples is that ongoing then? Interesting question, I hope that you find it useful.

Ds went in this afternoon as they had a class treat. Thank goodness it’s the weekend.

Danni I reckon after the last week you're allowed all the cupcakes you want! It's so difficult to keep to any kind of diet/healthy eating when you're stressed. I definitely eat my feelings!

Dimples that sounds intense! I really hope it is helpful for you.

Sorry ds didn't go in again today open. How did the phonecall go?

Hi Carrie!

Ds apparently had a good day today. Dd's PCR test came back negative, phew! So she can go back to school on Tuesday.

Sorry cross post open. Well done for getting ds in this afternoon!

Well he’ll go in for that. Refused point blank all morning

I’d quite like to do one of those online reparenting courses. I like Dr Becky and she has one. I’d have the time if ds was at school…

danni no guilt about the cakes!

liv hooray for -ve tests.

Great news re the negative result Liv.
Open Glad that you got DS in, even if it was just for the afternoon.
Pleased that you had the cake Danni

It was such a draining appointment. Later I had take DS to his music therapy appointment which is 3/4 hour drive away. I had to drive back to DD's nursery with the windows down as I was so tired. We have two more appointments as part of this assessment. Next Friday DS is meeting the psychologist I spoke to, today and the other is with a 'bilateral co-ordination' consultant. Then they will write up a report and propose a therapy plan. She said that the therapy would take 12-18 months. Worrying a bit (well a lot) about how I'm going to juggle this with work, DS's other appointments and DD. Guess we just need to get through the next couple of appointments and see what they advise.

dimples a big time commitment but at least it’s going to be thorough and hopefully worthwhile. Better than being fobbed off with a few appointments where ds doesn’t even get used to the therapist. Will it be both of you? How many days do you work?

Ds has been sleeping better over the last week. He’s been sleeping until five again for a few days though he has insisted on sleeping in bed with me some nights which relegates dh to the spare room.

Open it made me laugh the other day when speaking to my sister, my nephew who is 12 weeks old sleeps more hours than ds on a night 🙄😆 he’s been sleeping 9pm-6.30am straight through without waking for a bottle. What is life when a 3 month old sleeps longer than your nearly 8 year old!!!

I’ve got some books arriving for ds from Amazon, the reading champion 30 book set, level 6-10. He’s had the other sets and he’s just finished the last level of those ones. He’s done ever so well and can now read orange level 6 perfectly. (He doesn’t get reading books from school / they don’t have an at home reading scheme at all with his current school) so I’ve bought those so I can judge his levels a bit more at home and will still keep reading his normal books, hes read one of his own books this week ‘peppa pig meets the queen’ he honestly is so good with his reading it amazes me when I think of how affected he is by all his problems

Oh and I forgot to add on my last message!

Out of nowhere ds can add and subtract!!! He’s been unable to even tell me what 1+1 is prior to now.

I bought him some little pots of jam from home bargains, those little ones you get in hotels, pack of 16 for £1. So I was making him a jam sandwich yesterday and I said if ds had 16 pots of jam and mummy ate 3 of them how many would you have left? he was like 13. Then I did a few more examples and he got them right.

Wtf!

And what I find strange is, the subtraction ones he’s really good with and made no mistakes but addition ones he wasn’t so sure. I would of thought the opposite way around addition being easier. But this is ds so I shouldn’t be suprised.

If ds had 6 cakes and mummy opened the packet, how many would you have left 😂😂😂

Open in aibu there is an ‘autism school refusing thread’ just started, I tried to tag you but my phone was having none of it, probably won’t be useful but just in case there are any helpful posts (I often find people who work in SN schools chime in on those type of posts so you may see some advice)

Thanks danni.

How clever of your ds. I would just remind him of the reverse each time he gets a subtraction right, yes ds and 13+3=16. He’ll get there with it. I just asked ds and he doesn’t know (though often he just doesn’t even try) but he can use a number line and apparently can move in 10’s & singles on it.

You’re so lucky he is willing to do this stuff with you. Any tips for me?

I think I've answered my own question here, I just need to start very small and build up gradually. He is already saying he doesn't want to go to school tomorrow.

You persuaded my to buy a set of those books, though I went for the second hand option. Hopefully they will come in handy over the summer when he's not getting regular books from school. We have Reading Chest too.

We have our annual review this week and I need to finish our paperwork for it. I also heard back from Sendiass who I had forgotten I'd emailed, so hopefully I'll talk to them too. Plus play therapy. All around trying to get ds into school every blooming day.

I hope everyone has had a peaceful weekend.