Primary school auties : spring 2021 and beyond - thread 6

[danni0509]

Hi. New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Everyone welcome x

We were supposed to have the annual review tomorrow but I have asked them to postpone it and use the time to talk about the current situation. I think we will be back to a part time timetable. If I can even get him in for that!

If you get any advice please send it this way. We got him in but it was pretty traumatic for everybody involved.

What do the school say liv?

We’ve had no luck here. Waiting for the SENco to call.

We had a chat with the head yesterday, but he wasn't as bad yesterday. I've emailed him this morning and I will cal the pastoral team later.

I’m feeling very despondent here. I think we need to start thinking about a different school, though he has said he doesn’t want to go to any school. There may be another option from January.

I'm not surprised open it is really hard work! We have a social story for tomorrow from the school and the bus driver is going to attempt to pick ds up from the door and put him on the bus for us. Anything is worth a try at this point! Large glass of wine is in order this evening I think!

I hope it works for you liv. I feel like I'm never going to be able to do anything ever again! And yet I know it's not really about me. He is worried about something because he doesn't even want to go in for things he usually enjoys like PE.

Liv and Open I am sending positive vibes for the morning.

Thanks dimples, we need all the help we can get!

Ugh, I feel exhausted today. The webinar last night on the low arousal approach wasn't great. Lots of the guy talking about himself and not much in the way of practical advice. Probably better to read the books instead.

Liv & open good luck for the morning. Such a stress!

I got a phone call home today about ds behaviour. He’s literally been at the school 3 weeks 😫 he’s been smearing today and deliberately weeing on the furniture / so they’ve had to change him rooms (he isn’t in the classroom full time anyway only about 30-40 minutes of the day) to a room with no furniture just a table and 2 chairs. He’s not been listening to any instructions from any of the adults and just really hyper etc.

What are you supposed to do if even in a special school they aren’t managing ds and his behaviours? What if he gets kicked out?

I honestly dread to think of what our futures going to be like.

to all x

Ugh I'm sorry danni that sounds like a tough day too!

danni did they imply anything like that?

No they didn’t imply anything like that (just me thinking the worst) but they have said before he’s requiring 1-1 and in a special school that’s not how it works so he’s taking support from our other pupils and they have said before ds disruptive behaviour causes a domino affect for all the other children and a full days learning is wiped out (hence why he is out of the classroom so much, I think that’s the real reason as thats why it happened for 3 years in mainstream bcos of how disruptive he is)

Anyway i just think long term will they continue to put up with it? Bcos it’s how ds is full time. I think they believe it’s him ‘unsettled’ ‘settling in’ but honestly they have only just met him so don’t know ds and know that’s how he is pretty much 24/7.

I don’t know ds any other way! I’ve never know him calm etc etc.

I’ll have to wait and see I suppose but I’m getting bad vibes x

Although he definitely has had positive days. He got a certificate the week before half term for being tremendous! And this Monday’s email was nice and positive.

So he’s not been all bad.

It always seems to be bumpy with our dc but it sounds like he’s moving in the right direction. Maybe the medication will help. Can the school help to push your appointment up?

Has anyone’s dc had play therapy? I am looking at it for ds.

I’ve heard of it open but ds hasn’t personally had it, i think my local authority do something like this for adopted children / families as I’ve seen it on one of our local send newsletters and it was arranged via a social worker or something like that. Would be interested to hear more.

I’ve looked into joining ds at a gymnastic club (disability session) it’s only £6 which I thought was really good since usually they hike the price massively for anything Sen. I would stay with him for 1 hour a week which I would prefer. I’m not doing it for the minute as don’t know what will set him off lately, don’t want to bombard him with too much at once so I’ll wait for a bit.

Same for 1-1 swim sessions, swim England apparently said that’s ok for July onwards 1-1 pool sessions but our local pool charge £80 a month for 1-1 sessions (one 20 minutes session per week) is that standard or am i just tight?! I thought that was ridiculous.

He really needs to learn how to swim though.....

Can any of your children swim?

When ds teacher mentioned at Easter they frequently use the pool, he said how’s ds with swimming? I said oh he can’t swim. (At all, would literally drowned) he seemed suprised he couldn’t swim or hadn’t started too.

Then it got me thinking, should he be able too? Is it something else he’s delayed with?

Maybe I’m just shitty but other than on holiday where he wears arm bands and a rubber ring I don’t take him swimming, he’s too hard work getting him out so I don’t tend to bother, but left me thinking maybe I should try harder.

I’m not a great swimmer though...

I would be a shit teacher! I’ve never even jumped in at the deep end. I wouldn’t dare.

I learnt late, maybe 14/15. I can swim but I’d be in serious trouble if I went in water above my shoulders 😂

danni ds can’t swim. I started taking him to lessons when he was about 8 months and we stopped when he started nursery at 3. He was usually interested in doing his own thing. Since then we’ve taken him swimming plenty of times (pre-covid) but although he has fun he’s not been interested in following directions on basic beginner techniques. I’m hoping we can try and do something about that this year. Likewise riding a bike.

danni you can probably find videos on it. First steps are blowing bubbles in the water and learning to float on your back. Holding onto the side and kicking your legs. That sort of thing.

My DS can't swim either @danni0509 although he loves water. Beaches are a nightmare as he just runs into the sea!! I'm looking for 121 lessons too. Sorry you've had such a stress with school.
Hugs to everyone else struggling.

DS only just gone down as its so hot! At least he was nice though. Its my wedding anniversary so having a meal outside. Met new class teacher today who seems nice and not surprised by DS' needs but we will see!

Thanks open. He’s supposed to go swimming on a Thursday at school but they said they will struggle to transition him out of the pool and it wouldn’t be fair to the others (each class has booked slots) if ds won’t get out.

So previous weeks they haven’t let him go in, no one actually mentioned about this weeks though so I’ll send his kit in tomorrow anyway I’ve already packed it and if it comes home dry again like before half term I’ll know why.

His class teacher said he will bring his shorts and planned to go in the pool with him with the physio and swim teacher so he can coax ds out. 2 pupils go in at a time.

So maybe he will get a go tomorrow, I don’t know.

They often go to the leisure centre pool and book an area out for the class, so he does need to learn to swim really if he’s doing things like that.

On the schools website there’s a picture of the children all stood near the water at the leisure centre (fully clothed with their thumbs up for the photo) no idea why they aren’t in swim gear but no teacher stood beside just someone taking the photo. Jesus! Ds would be fully clothed at the bottom of the pool, it would be helpful in situations like that for him to be able to swim and I wouldn’t need to worry because he wouldn’t think twice about jumping in.

Happy wedding anniversary! 🥰