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SN children

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Original poster

My DS has his assessment with the child psychologist tomorrow, and I'm suddenly feeling all wobbly.

77 replies

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 14:30

I know we need to get on with this assessment process, and I have been chasing it up, so it is good that things are now moving, but I am feeling all wobbly all of a sudden.
I know I am going to have to start facing up to the fact he has big problems, which I have spent years fighting against in a state of denial.

As he is getting older, his differences are becoming more & more obvious, and I know I need to prepare myself for the worse.

Feeling so churned up about tomorrow, and don't know how I'm going to stop myself getting silly & emotional.

OP posts:

pinkbubble · 10/10/2007 14:33

Where is it going to be PC?

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 14:37

Not hospital in our town, but one in town 9 miles away.
His dad is coming with us.

OP posts:

pinkbubble · 10/10/2007 14:47

Good luck, have no idea what happens at one of these, but I do hope for yours and DCs sake they dont talk in front of him like last time with the DR.

Hopefully it will help your DC, what are your expectations?

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 14:50

Don't know, have no idea what happens at these things, but I would get myself uptight enough just speaking to the SENCO, so know I will find it hard going tomorrow.

OP posts:

pinkbubble · 10/10/2007 14:52

Dont let DS see you get in a state - poor you, it seems to never end! Hope you get some answers soon! I will be thinking of you.

What time is it at?

dustystar · 10/10/2007 14:53

Good luck

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 14:57

I won't let DS see me get in a state - I am normally very good where self control is concerned, but may need to swallow hard at times!

It is at 10am.

OP posts:

pinkbubble · 10/10/2007 14:59

Oh, so you have time off!!!!! You kept that quiet!

dustystar · 10/10/2007 14:59

Something I found really helped is to write all my concerns down the night before and to take the list with me so that if I started to get choked up i could refer to the list and clam down - or if the worst came to the worst just hand the list over.

dustystar · 10/10/2007 15:00

Obviously i meant calm down

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 10/10/2007 15:04

Agree with Dusty about the list, I also tend to get a bit obsessed by getting the list of symptoms etc out if i try and memorise and must seem a right loon

Don't worry too much, forst visits are ime usually a bit nothingy- lots of OK we'll refer you to X and Y and see what they ahve to say. Even if you did get an answer its is also ime that it tkaes a while to sink in though- I am usually crying by the time we get to the car not before!

Good luck and hugs X

(PS they do usually talk in front of the child I'm afraid, a good book might be andy?)

sasquatch · 10/10/2007 16:13

hope it goes well tomorrow PC, and you get a few sessions to air all your concerns,
I think it is ok to speak in front of ds but a bit restricting.
Any chance someone can accompany you so you might get some time wiith the psyc. alone?

We spent time taking detailed history of ds early years at first stage.

I think its ok to get emotional, at least they can see that you care, and that its severe enough to make you feel this way, is how I see it.

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 16:18

Thank you all for your messages. I do get myself upset when I have to face up to DS's problems, and I know I will find tomorrow hard. The writing things down sounds like a good plan - I will get writing this evening.

His dad is coming with me tomorrow, so I will have someone else there.

OP posts:

Niecie · 10/10/2007 16:31

Pinkchampagne, well done on getting this far. I did a list too but as well as putting all my concerns I also put all the things I wasn't concerned about or that he was good at. On paper he sounded a real problem and putting down the good things helped me remember that he was still my lovely boy. A bit soppy, I know.

I had a think about questions beforehand too as I always forget when I am at the appointment.

The psychologist will do most of the work with your ds which I found gave me a few moments to get myself together although he was watching me the whole time for approval so I had to have a fixed smile on my face.

The other thing was that by the time I got the diagnosis it had been in my mind for so long that it was actually a relief that I hadn't been imagining it and that we could get some help and support. It was really weird to feel so calm about something that had been worrying me for months though.

Good luck tomorrow. At least it is early and you don't have to wait all day. I hope it isn't too awful for you or your ds and you get some answers.

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 16:43

Doesn't sound too soppy at all, Niecie - I have been feeling the same about my lovely boy, so will be sure to put all his positives on the list!

What sort of things are they likely to do with DS tomorrow?

OP posts:

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 18:03

I fear they won't get much out of my DS because he may not co-operate. The pead described him as a selective mute.

OP posts:

Dinosaur · 10/10/2007 18:12

Good luck. And please don't worry about getting a bit emotional. IME they have a box of tissues at the ready for just that purpose!

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 18:13

Thanks Dinosaur. I am afraid I am emotional already, which is a pretty poor show!

OP posts:

ScummyMummy · 10/10/2007 18:18

Hope it's helpful, pc. Don't worry about getting emotional. They're there to support you all, remember, and, in fact, privileged to have people as lovely as you and your ds in their clinic, imo.

Original poster

Pinkchampagne · 10/10/2007 18:21

Thanks Scummy, that was a sweet thing to say.

OP posts:

Niecie · 10/10/2007 18:48

I am trying to remember what we did. I know DS had to explain what 5 different words meant. I think this was a test for echolalia(sp?) as some AS children just repeat what they hear without actually knowing what it meant. One of the words was factory which I would have thought most children of 5 would have understood but apparently not.

I am pretty sure he had some pictures to put in sequence to tell a story because obviously AS children don't have much of an imagination and they don't follow visual cues very well.

I am pretty sure that there was a drawing to do as well but DS was only 5.5 so you may not get this.

He had a memory game to do. All the things were laid out on the table and he had to remember as many as possible after a couple of minutes.

I'm having trouble at the moment thinking of the rest but I'll come back - I might have a look for the report, if I can find it, and see if there are any triggers there to remind me.

I do remember that DS did quite enjoy it all though although it did go on quite a long time and he did start to get bored and slightly uncooperative. They are used to that though so I wouldn't worry about it.

Niecie · 10/10/2007 19:37

I found the report by the clinical pscyhologist. They don't list all the activities but it has triggered a few memories.

One thing was doing a jigsaw puzzle. DS did some but gave up when he found a piece he couldn't work out. Apparently that was significant.

He had to copy a model of bricks which the psych. put together.

He had to copy a sequences of taps of increasing difficulty.

He was given a box of toys to see what he did with them and how he described them. One of the things was a doctors' set and he had to say what it was and what you could do with it and he also made up a bit of a story although it was noted that he couldn't develop it.

Whilst this was going on they listened to his speech (apparently a touch of the typical AS 'little professor'). They also asked him about friends and family and his interests and they asked us about his behaviour at home because we had raised concerns about his flapping and pacing.

According to the report they were measuring him against the ICD 10 criteria for Autistic Spectrum Disorder (if you fancy looking it up on the Net).

I hope that helps. It is really not too hard for the child from what I can see and it isn't like school who push them until the children get it right. If the child can't do it after bit of gentle prompting they let it go. They aren't allowed to help and it is really difficult for me not to interfer and help too - or maybe that is just me.

I really do hope it goes well. Tell him it is just about playing games and hope he treats it as a bit of fun.

Let us know how you get on - if you want to of course. Good luck.
(Should have a lucky horseshoe emotion for this shouldn't they)

bullet123 · 10/10/2007 19:51

Good luck with the assessment .
Niecie, may I gently point out that people on the spectrum, including AS, often have very good imaginations. It's a common misconception that they don't and it actually made me believe for years I couldn't be on the spectrum because I have a good imagination. There is some debate regarding differences in imagination, for example with myself I can imagine myself, as I am, in almost any situation, but can't imagine myself to be somebody I'm not. And a lot of imagination is internal, as a child you might have seen me playing with the tassells on my toy hippo's tail and thought that as I wasn't saying anything or moving them around much I was just fiddling, whereas I was actually pretending they were Cinderella and the Ugly Sisters . Obviously there will be those on the spectrum who don't appear to have much of ain imagination, or will say themselves that they don't, but there's plenty that do, we just might not show it in typical ways.

chisigirl · 10/10/2007 20:43

hi PinkChampgane
I don't know you and your DS but wanted to wish you all the best for tomorrow. Hope it all goes as well as it can.
chisigirl

Niecie · 10/10/2007 20:44

Sorry Bullet - I was cutting corners a bit and making generalisations to keep the post from being miles long and it was sloppy. Also I was speaking from personal experience and I do find that the professionals often cut corners too and say AS children have limited imagination although as you rightly point out it isn't that simple.

I was actually talking about this today with my Mum. We were saying that DS1 can't create a game but he has a very good imagination when it comes to imagining all sorts of disasters that happen. He won't watch some tv programmes for example, because he is worried that something bad is going to happen. However, I think that is learned in the sense that he has seen it happen before on that programme or something similar and so he can imagine it happening again. I would say if he makes up a game it is almost role play, like he is playing out a story he has read or seen. It doesn't require him to put himself in anybody else's shoes as you say.

He definitely does not have an imagination like my DS2 who can create complex situations out of nothing and pretend to be something he isn't. It was one of the things that really struck me as being a big difference between DS1, with AS and DS2 who is NT.

If I was going to comment on his imagination I would say DS1's was 'patchy' for want of a better word.

Sorry if I annoyed you.

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