How do I explain this to DS?

[DavidCameronsTie]

DS (6) has an ASD and attends the local village school.

I took him to a birthday party today and he was asked by 4 of his classmates why he wasn't at another party earlier today. That party was for 2 boys whom DS regards as his friends. They play together every lunchtime, at the park outside of school etc.

DS became more and more upset each time he was asked, as he had not been invited. He asked me why not - I couldn't think what to say. It's pretty clear to me that the boys' parents didn't want DS to be there in case he created any difficulties (competitive party games are a little tricky but I can manage those situations just fine).

DS said in the car "I guess that they don't really like me mummy". How do I explain to DS that I'm sure that's not the case?

I am very for DS. Not really sure who is more upset, me or DS.

First of all not being invited to parties is something that happens to lots of children - ASD or no ASD, we've all been there.

What I say to my children is either that the birthday child could only invite so many children OR that they thought we were doing something else at the time of the party.

By going to other children's parties (like you did today) will prove that the ASD is not a problem to the hosts and hopefully all the rest of ds's friends parents will realise that. As you've indicated it is ignorance of his ASD and not a dislike of your ds that he wasn't invited.

Sorry! Just read that back and it sounded a bit harsh - it was supposed to be sympathetic