Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5

[openupmyeagereyes]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

I have also come across it, put it on an Amazon list somewhere, but never bought it or read it!

Glad the screaming has abated dimples: hope it continues on that trajectory. But Oh God 4.30am. Sounds sweet, but ... nope! What happened: did he manage to get back to sleep after that? Did you?

Unfortunately no more sleep for either of us Light. But a later start today.

DS really surprised me yesterday evening. When I came downstairs after putting DD to bed he started going upstairs. I ask him (in a rather accusatory tone) what he was up to and he announced that he was running me a bath! My suspicious mind still wondered what he was up to but it turned out just being kind. He asked me what temperature I wanted it, did I want toys(!), bubble bath etc. I don't know where he got the idea from but I was really touched - it's been years since anyone ran me a bath.

Dimples that's lovely of your ds to be so considerate bless him ❤️

I don't let ds in my bathroom unless I'm with him while he has a wee, I keep meaning to get a stair gate for it 🤣

Open have you had ds' school report yet?

I got ds report yesterday, it didn't have any grades or anything on (I know he's below age related - he's on p levels rather than NC) I'm not sure if our school didn't put them on this year because of all going on because most kids haven't been in since March or if it's because ds isn't on national curriculum and that's why they missed them off.

Anyhow, his report was really nice, just said his writing had improved this year so his letters have shrunk from a4 size at the start of yr1 to now fitting into his exercise book 😆 she said he was good at gymnastics and climbing the apparatus and he always makes the staff smile by telling a made up story to the children in the book corner, I can only imagine the story involves cats (!) funnily enough she mentioned his love of cats and that he often asks the staff what their cats are called. She said he was a lively (!) character and has a good relationship with all the staff working with him and the children like him.

She didn't mention any bad behaviour or his need for full time support or anything like that it was actually really nice to read and he sounds just like any other child reading it, I emailed her to say thanks. Anything I usually read is rather depressing!

I met his September 1-1 she asked if I could go in early yesterday so when I arrived she came out and said she just wanted to introduce herself, she has been working with ds the past fortnight in an afternoon. He's already got her googling cat activities for September. She's done him a book to read during the holidays with her picture in and his new classroom and outdoor area etc.

His hours are 6 hours a day from September too so no part time.

Hope everyone is ok.

The new teacher ds has from September, is the one who was in during lockdown. She used to bring ds out to me and tell me he'd had a great day / not had a great day.

1 of the days she came out and said he'd kicked another child and hit her with a stick so she said I sat down with him and in simple terms explained why we don't do that and I tried to explain to him why you have to say sorry and what sorry means, which shows me she understands ds because of the way she tried to explain to him and make him understand. Another time he'd been trying to catch a bumble bee in his cupped hands so she said I was trying to explain to him that it will sting and hurt etc then they both ended up having 20 minutes sat on the floor whilst she told him all about what bees do.

I'm pleased she worked with him during lockdown so she's got an idea of what he's like.

danni lovely positive report and the teacher and 1:1 sound like they’re going to be good next year.

dimples lovely that ds thought to run you a bath.

We get reports this week. Last year he had expected on 3 of the minor areas but this year I’m gearing myself up for that changing. We’ll see.

He slept until 6am this morning which was a rare treat. Still having a battle over getting any school work done 😬

DS's report was v brief this year and only had five areas - reading, writing, grammar and maths x2. It says he is working at expected levels in reading and maths. Was pleased but slightly surprised by the reading.

Yes, Danni DS needs a lot of bathroom supervision too. Yesterday he pulled down the shower curtain and pole. Later he decided to see how the toilet worked - he removed the lid (which was v heavy for my petite boy and then dropped it on the ground damaging the flush buttons. I'm not sure if DS's behaviour is getting worse or if I am getting more stressed at the thought of getting through the summer hols.

Dimples he sounds extremely inquisitive just like ds

Open hope ds report is ok for you, let us know

Ds went to sleep at 7.45pm last night, woke at 10.20pm and didn't go back to sleep until 5 this morning 😔 he's still in bed now I've got to get him up in 15 mins if he's not up by then to get him ready for school, I've had just over an hours sleep, my eyes are seriously stinging.

Oh danni, that’s bad
I hope you get him to school ok and can get some rest.

Ds up at 3ish today. I went back to bed for a couple of hours at 6 though. Interesting day ahead!

Danni and Open I feel for you with the sleep probs.

It’s the least of our problems today dimples!

Massive tantrums about not being allowed to have the iPad until he’s done some school work. He’s had it this morning and again earlier this afternoon for reading a book with me but he’s refusing to do anything else. We are three days into this and he’s not happy about it.

Thankfully we had a lovely day today. Class Zoom, work done, no tantrums and quite a bit of time spent in the garden. I’m hoping we’ve turned a corner but I won’t hold my breath just yet... 🤞🙏

We did two activities today. The first was dropping coloured vinegar on baking soda to make it fizz (ds said it was potions and lava) and went quite well, however he was not impressed with some of his figures being frozen in ice so I had to melt it under a tap!

I hope everyone has had a good few days.

So glad today was better Open. Might try your baking soda trick. I'm now wondering how to manage DS's screen time in the hols.

dimples during lockdown we instigated a two hours off, one hour on policy on all screen time. It goes off at 8am then 10-11, 1-2 and 4-5. It’s still a lot but he was asking for it constantly and setting a fixed schedule seemed the best approach. This way he doesn’t have too long to a wait in between. When he’s back at school the middle blocks will fall away as well as turning it off earlier in the morning. Some days he struggles but we just try to be firm and distract and usually he is (eventually) happy to do something else for a while. Having a couple of activities in mind (like the vinegar/bicarbonate) is a good back up plan. Getting out is good too if you’re able. We haven’t been out a lot, just for walks a few times a week so far.

I think that part of my problem Open is lack of consistency . If it's dry then we will tend to go out for hours - walk and picnic which naturally curtails the screen time and I'm fairly relaxed. But if it's wet like today here and we're just staying in it's all he wants to do. We have managed reading and baking some cakes today but other than then and meal times he has been glued to a screen. Maybe I need to announce if it's a home day or outing day at the start of the morning and take an approach like yours to the home days.

We had some old friends around in the garden this morning but DS hid in the house after saying hello and asking my friend if she had a baby in her tummy (she is not pregnant)

dimples we find it hard to be consistent. It’s difficult if you just want some down time or if the whinging goes on and on. We’re trying to be consistent now, though I’m having some doubts about the approach over the summer regarding the iPad and getting a bit of work done each day. Will have to speak to dh.

I do hope your friend wasn’t offended!

We got ds’ report. He got expected in two of the maths areas and everything else was working towards. It was a nice report though so I’m pretty happy and I know he’s making progress. Last day of term tomorrow.

Open she was so lovely about it. We had another chat later about not commenting on people's appearances. The following day DS told two men we saw on a walk that he liked their big tummies! Never a dull moment with DS.

How is everyone doing?

Phew dimples!

We are doing ok thanks. Quite relaxed so far. I bought a book called Hands On Maths yr 1 which seems very good. I wish I’d seen it at the start of lock down. I’ve done a couple of activities with ds this afternoon. Hopefully he will find it more fun and I keep reading on the primary Ed board that this approach sets a good foundation for understanding what maths is actually about.

That sounds like a good book. May need to check it out. DS's maths skills are v spiky - he seems to grasp more complex concepts e.g. time, fractions and division but not what I would consider easier things like number bonds to 10.

Hi everyone! Hope i can still post here now DS is definitely repeating Reception!
Hugs to everyone with the sleep issues. DS keeps waking up at 3am or 4am and getting into our bed.
I woke up the other day at 6am and was surprised at how much room there was...a rare occasion of DS still being in his own bed! Usually our elderly cat comes in too.
Glad reports have gone well. I was happy to read something nice and positive in ours. We are still trying to do some maths and phonics and writing most days. DS got really into science and the baking soda thing was a favourite, if you draw a monster on a milk bottle then put vinegar with washing up liquid and baking soda inside,it will explode with foam! But then it all got a bit obsessive with DS trying to make everything in the garden foam up and explode...so I switched to bubble mix which goes foamy if you stir it! Colour mixing is still his most favourite thing but the food dyes are so messy. He has got really into those toy undoing videos lately and takes it all very seriously.
We are hoping to go for a forest walk later.

Unboxing not undoing!

Hello Lottie, glad you had a nice report and that ds is still enjoying his science experiments. Someone sent me a list of similar things, I’ll try and post some of them. The toy unboxing videos are a slippery slope though, it made my ds obsessed with getting new toys!

So far we have made oobleck, slime and a couple of batches of play dough. I made some black glittery play dough yesterday and ds wasn’t interested in playing with it though. The slime is pretty nice (It’s a more solid, stretchy type), I’ve put it in a jar and have a quick play with it myself occasionally . There are some great ideas on the Imagination Tree website.

Ds had been sleeping a little better, we had some 5/5:30 days but the last couple have been very early again. It’s going to be a long day today. We’re also still having fairly frequent tantrums or whinging about the iPad. Once he’s distracted he’ll settle down and do something else but it’s very wearing. Yesterday I managed to distract him by making a zipwire with string and creating little Lego cable cars for his minifigures to go on.

There’s a pdf you can download here of sciency-type activities

www.playscotland.org/resources/experimental-play-3/

In fact the website has lots of other downloads on messy play & creative play.

Summer holidays going ok. Ds not being too bad, other than his tantrums, but other than that I’ve not had a nervous break down so far 😆 He broke up almost 2 weeks ago which has flown!

He’s become addicted to his iPad which I’m loving! I downloaded a virtual cat game and he’s hooked. He sat on it for an hour and half yesterday! Usually it would be thrown in 5 minutes, it’s nice to sit him on it and actually have a cup of tea in peace.

We’ve done some handwriting each day (he likes to draw so not an issue getting him to do that) he won’t read though but I’m not bothered about that.

We went for a long walk in the country side at the weekend and stumbled across a well hidden park so he had 2 hours on there no children which was a bonus as I don’t have to stalk him so he doesn’t hit the others, but towards the last half hour a gran bought a young boy on (he was 4) the boy asked ds to be his friend so ds followed him about and the boy said shall we make a campfire so he had ds collecting sticks and the boy was pretending to light a fire rubbing the sticks together and ds was copying him and then ds brought me a pretend sausage he’d ‘cooked’ he played so well with this boy for half hour! 😍 and because the boy was only 4 he didn’t question what was wrong with ds or think he was weird. Ds has a pink cat teddy called pink whiskers he takes everywhere and ds was putting it down the slide and the boy asked if he could have a go so they took it in turns putting pink whiskers down the slide.

Dh was with us and even he said that’s the best he’s seen him interact.

I took ds to the beach this week and there is a little play area so ds was playing and at the minute he has this thing of saying what s does sand start with lower case or capital, what w does water start with lower case or capital, what m does mummy start with lower case or capital, you get the idea. Any word he asks me.. So can you imagine, ds is running up and down this grassy hill I’m sat supervising and at the top of his voice he shouts.... what f does fucking start with 🙃🙃😩😆

Could.of.died.