Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5

[openupmyeagereyes]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

@RaaRaaeee

Good move! Lots of useful information here:

www.ipsea.org.uk/refusal-to-assess-appeals

www.ipsea.org.uk/general-advice-for-all-appeals

@Ellie56 Thankyou

Welcome PocahontasMcGinty I hope today has gone well and has not been too terrifying for you. I remember being in tears after drop off and speaking slightly incoherently with the head teacher.

Did you hear back from the school before she started?

Furry I hope dd is having a better week and is a bit more regulated.

Orinoco better to have the support and not need it than the opposite. The TA will not be short of things to do in a reception classroom if ds manages well.

Lottie in our school sensory breaks are likely to be in the classroom 1:1 with a TA due to SD. There will be no sensory circuits groups unfortunately. I think he will struggle if he can’t leave to classroom at all, we’ll have to see how it goes. Hopefully it will be easier for your ds in reception if they have a dedicated outside space?

I hope everyone is well. It’s been roasting here for days, I’m totally fed up with it, though less sweaty today somehow.

Ds sleep has continued to be pretty bad, alternating 3:15 and 4:15 starts . We survived the class meet up at the weekend though it was quite stressful for us due to the location (water). The next few were supposed to be in different parks but will now all be in the same place so I think we’ll skip some as I’m not sure I can cope again so soon

Today I started to talk to ds about how things will be a bit different at school next term. I don’t want him to get too anxious but am trying to warm him up to the idea. Really have no idea how it will go, I’m hoping he won’t be excluded for failure to SD!

3:15!!!!!! Hope today is better @openupmyeagereyes - and thank you, you're right about support being good whichever way it goes. @PocahontasMcGinty - hope start of school went well.

DS is being really sweet and happy at the moment, and I keep on wondering if there's something I should be doing to get him ready to school and I'm not doing IYSWIM.

orinocosfavoritecake we bought a few starting school books but the thing that really helped us was the Topsy & Tim start school episode which made ds super excited. He insisted on sleeping in his uniform for the first two weeks

Topsy and Tim is like one long social story, isn't it?

Yes, sort of. Ds loves it for a while. I think because it had real children rather than cartoon.

Open I hope DS starts sleeping later - maybe when he returns to school?

We have met up a couple of times this week with other families this week which is the first time these hols (and apart from a few weeks at school the first time since March) that he has played with other children other than his cousins - he had a great time. I was so happy.

In other news toileting remains a disaster zone. Another recent problem is that whilst DS has always enjoyed being naked he is now playing with himself all the time. We have talked about private parts and I'm trying to get him to keep his clothes on. Any advice?

Well last night was dire again. Still, it’s raining at least 🙏

dimples no advice I’m afraid. I just tell him it’s ‘for private’. He asked me what that meant the other day and I told him when he’s alone. Maybe try and distract his hands with something else? Good luck.

Just a quickie.

Hello new people!

Dimples ds is permanently playing with his bits I told him to do it in his bedroom which he does but still touches it round the house, he’ll be eating with one hand and hands down his pants with his other, he’s such a creature! 😂

I went in his bedroom the other day and he said go away, I said why what you up to as he looked dead shifty and he said I’m playing with my willy mum ! Lol I just tell him to go up to his room were he can fiddle till his hearts content. I did have a google before and I read not to tell them to stop as they are just exploring but encourage them to do it privately.

Privately means nothing to ds though!

When he was younger he used to hump stuff, so embarrassing! speech therapy bought a teddy one day amongst her toys and it’s when he was having a phase of humping teddies, I almost died when she took it out of the bag 😆 I googled that one too and its sensory seeking behaviour and is normal, I just thought he was being strange.

Also with you on toileting! Ds hasn’t pood on the toilet since February he now will only shit on my bathroom floor or squat over the bathroom bin ffs.

Mine loves a play with his dangle too 😂😂 if he could sit naked on the toilet all day playing with his willy in one hand and my iPhone in another he would be as happy as Larry 🙈😫😂 x

Thanks Danni that's what I thought - I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable about doing it but DS doesn't understand that there is a time and a place! I am thinking that he doesn't seem to do it at my Mum's so hopefully just sees it as something to only do at home... We're going to stay at my sister and brother in law's next week so will see what happens there - I'm also worried that he will wee on their sofas.

ds slept until 5:55 this morning! I woke on my own at 5:40 which was bliss.

Shame he can’t do it every day

Yay Open

Yay for a late(r than usual) morning open! And loved your stories up thread Danni! Your DS never sounds dull .

And welcome to the thread @RaaRaaeee @orinocosfavoritecake @PocahontasMcGinty !

Sorry I've been quiet. We've just been trundling on. Work has been very busy (weirdly, given Covid) and I've been finding things stressful, but not really anything to do with the kids (other than the normal parent thing of just never getting any time to myself!) Went to the office last week one day for air conditioning and it was so amazing just to be in a quiet space all day (and also a space that wasn't my bedroom, which is where I have been working and sleeping for over 4 months now ... I'm sure like many people!)

In better news we actually managed to go away for a week (to Wales, booked pre-Covid) which was lovely. Trying to book something for half term too (possibly optimistically, but worth a try: it will be nice to have something in the diary, even if it doesn't end up coming off!)

Anyway, DD is quite highly strung at the moment so can get quite stressed out about little things, but seems basically happy most of the time, so that's all good. DS has been more needy (both mine have had terrible 3s rather than terrible 2s), so he and DD have been setting each other off a bit more, but still basically getting on most of the time. Seems generally like normal parenting stuff. I'm starting to read Ross Greene's "Raising Human Beings" which seems good so far.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Never a dull moment here light (!) nice to hear from you x

Dimples my ds sounds so similar to your ds, he peed on my sofa last week, no washer (explain that in a min) so I hand washed the seat cover and got it out the dryer and it still smells like an old biddies bedroom, I’ve just febreezed it to death and that’ll have to do.

Open pleased your ds had a lie in (what a shocker when we think 6am is a lie in!) when does he go back to school?

Ds goes back in a fortnight, it’s flown. Not complaining mind you, looking forward to going back to the gym (I’ve put all that weight back on, fuming!) and having some peace. My mum said the other day if ds teacher actually had coronavirus i would still send him in 😂 honestly, I’m not that bad! 😎

My washer broke 10 days ago, Samsung sent an engineer today fitted 2 new parts still not working, they’ve ordered 2 new parts another 9 days until they are fitted 😡 then if that doesn’t work Samsung will replace. It’s only 9 months old so I should think so too. So I’m hand washing constantly, I’ve taken loads to my mums but that’s such a faff and my wash basket is constantly overflowing, driving me mad, doesn’t help ds constantly wetting and poohing his pants, my boiler is broken so no heating or hot water it’s been declared unsafe today and they’ve stuck big danger do not use stickers all over it and disconnected it all and now no idea when that will be working. Engineer phoning me tomorrow apparently.

The house is only 5 years old and I have non stop problems with it, I can live with no heating in summer obvs but not hot water so I’ve had to drive dh to my dads after work so he could use their shower and ds smashed one of my step mums fancy vases, my dad said quick hide it so she doesn’t see, its only one of her familys Egyptian heirlooms, I’m not actually sure he was joking 😳😳😳

Didn’t get ds in until 9 because he tantrummed having to leave and I couldn’t get him in the car at all because he said he wanted to live with my dad. I heard my dad bolting the door before we’d even left the front garden 😆

danni we always say that 5:30 is a lie in in this house! Your standards definitely change. Ds has been 5ish the last few days but last night was awake from 2:15-4 ish then slept until 6 something. He stayed in bed at least and did not ask for the iPad.

danni that sounds an awful situation with no hot water and no washing machine. I hope you get them both sorted out ASAP. I bet you wish there were a lot more dull moments in your life.

I did laugh at your dad bolting the door behind you. My PIL came and looked after ds 4 times in 2018. Only for a few hours while we had lunch and a mooch around town. It was lovely but they did not offer at all last year. We get zero family help. I was starting to look at Bubble pre-COVID. When (if) things settle down I think dh and I need to try and find someone we can trust to babysit so we can get some time together.

Light good to hear from you. Glad you had a lovely holiday and the dc are generally well. I started reading raising human beings but didn’t finish it, must get back to it. I read 15 minute parenting 0-7 which has some good ideas and the miracle morning (from the habits thread) recently. I’ve also got the conscious parent and atomic habits on the go.

Ds is doing ok. We have got a bit lax with his iPad usage though so need to do something about that. I have started buying the new uniform bits he needs but need him to try on some other stuff to see if it still fits, I think he’s grown a lot since March. He starts back on the 9th, I’m not sure how I feel about it yet.

I also need to book him a haircut though I generally prefer his hair a bit longer. When he was younger he had ringlets but not now

Oh no @danni0509 that's awful to have no hot water or washing machine,hope you get it fixed soon! My FIL obv loves but he and his very particular tidy gf dont ever offer to babysit DS! They just dont know how to calm his hyper moods, they try to tell him to calm down, which obv results in more hyperemesis! We just use distraction etc.
It annoys me a bit how they always seem to babysit DS's cousin, same age, but he just sort of sits happily and goes along with whatever they have planned. At least DS engages more with life but only on his terms ha!
His birthday went well, just family, and he enjoyed the Blippi rainbow unicorns theme! I'm on a mission to upgrade his toys to nice wooden ones. The wobbel.board has improved his core strength and gross motor so much already.
Hurray for more lie ins! We have got into the habit of DS coming into our room when he wakes up and having his kindle so we're usually dozing half listening to Blippi! Will be quite different when the schools open I think.
Anyway, we are off glamping for a few days, hoping to see some African animals later, so I'd better get off here and actually get everything ready

Hyperness, not hyperemesis!